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Thank you all for your great inputs!
I want to add something: 1)The first sentence is not so logically fit. You better not disclose the outcome "champion winner" at the begining because you are still waiting the news (as you said), just holding it will give more surprises to the readers, and also make the writing more sense. 2)happiness and satisfaction with the champion, this sounds redundant to me. try to mention both happiness and respect 3)its vivid demonstration of news. Emphasizing vividness will be better, like its vividness of demonstrating news. 4)both of which are not so telling as television news, which are neither as telling as television news 5)render them not so convincing or persuading, or persuading is just a repetition. 6) it is amusing, I can't feel the amusing nature, it might be misleading though
Just my two cents. | 
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发表于 2007-10-13 12:01:00
