ChaseDream
搜索
123下一页
返回列表 发新帖
查看: 2873|回复: 21
打印 上一主题 下一主题

发一篇作文,大家帮忙看看

[复制链接]
楼主
发表于 2007-7-1 12:17:00 | 只看该作者

发一篇作文,大家帮忙看看

185 You have enough money to purchase either a house or a business. Which would you choose to buy? Give specific reasons to explain your choice.

 

 

Given enough money, I would like to buy a house instead of purchasing a business. Although there are appealing advantages of purchasing a business, I feel that the benefits of buying a house are huger.

 

There is big risk when purchasing a business. Nearly fifty percent of the businesses fail in their first year. Compared to such high probability of failures, buying a house is much safer. Although sometimes the house needs some repairs, much of these can be achieved by one’s own. And by careful selecting the house, big repairs can be avoided for many years,

 

Buying a house is also a wise investment. What kind of business makes the most profit now? It definitely is real estate. With the increasing number of population, housing has become a serious problem, especially in big cities where there is a dense population. The house price has been up for many years in China even though the government has tried to put it down. In the years onward, house prices would most probably continue to go up. So if one buys a house, he can earn a great deal of money by selling it when the price goes up.

 

Additionally, you do not have to rent others’ house after purchasing a house, which means that you can save the rent. In big cities such as Beijing and Shanghai, the rent is usually very high. My friend has recently rent a small room in Beijing. The rent costs him 152 dollars a month, which is equal to the average wages of many workers in our country. Therefore, when we have our own houses, we can really save a lot of money. In fact, we can even earn some money by renting a spare room of the house.

 

In conclusion, I think it is a better idea to buy a house instead of purchasing a business. If one chooses to buy a house, he can avoid the risk of loss in business, he can make a profit by selling a house, and he can save the money for rents and can even earn some money by renting it to others.

   

沙发
发表于 2007-7-1 12:35:00 | 只看该作者

找德克啊
板凳
 楼主| 发表于 2007-7-1 13:01:00 | 只看该作者
怎么找?
地板
发表于 2007-7-1 14:32:00 | 只看该作者

Given enough money, I would like to buy a house instead of purchasing a business. Although there are appealing advantages of purchasing a business, I feel (believe) that the benefits of buying a house are huger (weigh over those of owning a business).

 

There is big risk when purchasing a business. Nearly fifty percent of the businesses fail in their first year. Compared to such high probability of failures, buying a house is much safer. Although sometimes the house needs some repairs, much (most) of these can be achieved by one’s own. And by careful selecting the house, big repairs can be avoided for many years,

 

Buying a house is also a wise investment. What kind of business makes the most profit now? It definitely is real estate. With the increasing number of population, housing (housing shortage) has become a serious problem, especially in big cities where there is a dense population. The house price has been up for many years in China even though the government has tried to put (pull the house price) down. In the years onward, house prices would most probably continue to go up (soar). So if one buys a house, he can earn a great deal of money by selling it when the price goes up (arrive summit).

 

Additionally, you do not have to rent others’ house after purchasing a house, which means that you can save the rent (money for renting a house). In big cities such as Beijing and Shanghai, the rent (price of leasing house) is usually very high. My friend has recently rent a small room in Beijing. The rent costs him 152 dollars a month, which is equal to the average wages of many workers in our country. Therefore, when we have our own houses, we can really save a lot of money. In fact, we can even earn some money by renting a spare room of the house.

5#
发表于 2007-7-1 23:27:00 | 只看该作者
I think it is good writing!!!
6#
发表于 2007-7-1 23:49:00 | 只看该作者

"instead of"  用的不地道,前后两个结构不对称, "to buy a house rather than a business"

"careful selecting" should be "careful selection"

"the house price has been up..." should be " the cost of housing has been rising..."

7#
发表于 2007-7-2 10:44:00 | 只看该作者

Given enough money, I would like to buy a house instead of a business. Although there are some advantages of purchasing a business, I feel that the benefits of buying a house are more appealing.

 

 

There is big risk when purchasing a business.(从句主语呢,建议:I would take great risk after purchasing a business) Nearly fifty percent of the businesses fail in their first year.(这句话一看就是编的,可以这样改:Data show that roughly half of newly established businesses fail in their first year, according to a local report.) Compared to such high probability of failures, buying a house is much safer.(Taking into account this high probability of failures, I think buying a house is a safer choice.) Although sometimes the house needs some repairs, much of these can be achieved by one’s own.  (Though expense for maitainance is needed, it could be affordable. ) And by careful selecting the house, big repairs can be avoided for many years. (同样存在缺主语的问题,可以这样写:By carefully selecting the house, I can avoid this expense for many years.)

 

 

Buying a house is also a wise investment. What kind of business makes( is creating) the most profit now? It definitely is real estate. With the increasing number of population, housing has become a serious problem, especially in big cities where there is a dense population. The house price has been (going) up for many years in China even though the government has tried to put it down(despite of the goverment's endeavor to retard its soaring). In the years onward, house prices would most probably continue to go up. So if one buys a house, he can earn a great deal of money by selling it when the price goes up.

 

 

Additionally, you do not have to rent others’ house after purchasing a house, which means that you can save the rent. In big cities such as Beijing and Shanghai, the rent is usually very high. My friend has recently rent a small room in Beijing. The rent costs him 152 dollars a month, which is equal to the average (monthly) wages of many workers in our country. Therefore, when we have our own houses, we can really save a lot of money. In fact, we can even earn some money by renting a spare room of the house.

 

 

In conclusion, I think it is a better idea to buy a house . If one chooses to buy a house, he can avoid the risk of loss in business(这个理由太可怕了吧,你第二段也不这么说的啊,可以这样:不用承担风险不等于避免风险,动词不对。), he can make a profit by selling a house, and he can save the money for rents and can even earn some money by renting it to others.

8#
 楼主| 发表于 2007-7-2 20:16:00 | 只看该作者
以下是引用新村居民在2007-7-1 23:27:00的发言:
I think it is good writing!!!

真的吗?不敢相信啊
9#
发表于 2007-7-2 20:18:00 | 只看该作者
以下是引用lindenwxl在2007-7-2 20:16:00的发言:

真的吗?不敢相信啊

最好不信
10#
 楼主| 发表于 2007-7-2 20:19:00 | 只看该作者
谢谢大家的帮忙!
您需要登录后才可以回帖 登录 | 立即注册

Mark一下! 看一下! 顶楼主! 感谢分享! 快速回复:

所属分类: TOEFL / IELTS

正在浏览此版块的会员 ()

手机版|ChaseDream|GMT+8, 2025-8-21 12:34
京公网安备11010202008513号 京ICP证101109号 京ICP备12012021号

ChaseDream 论坛

© 2003-2025 ChaseDream.com. All Rights Reserved.

返回顶部