是否有高手可以帮忙修改一下作文啊?

mjia1992

哪位高手能给我点意见?

因为水平很有限,这篇作文是我按照一个模版还有一些范文的例子写的. 不知道这样练习是否有用呢?

非常感谢啦

1.     The government has announced that it plans to build a new university. Some people think that your community would be a good place to locate the university. Compare the advantages and disadvantages of establishing a new university in your community.

 

Recently more and more new universities have been built in many communities. For this phenomenon, people have different opinions on it. Some people like that because there would have more convenience in many ways and could have more culture communication in their community. But some people have the contrary idea. There may be one or two disadvantages to build a new university on our community; however, I believe that there are far more advantages.

 

First of all, some miner disadvantages to build a new university here. There maybe have more traffic problem on the streets. For instance, not all of the people the university hired would already be members of the community, so that would mean a lot of new people coming to the town. Of course, a lot of students would come too. They would bring their cars and there would be have more buses of university. Another drawback to build a new university on our community involves the possibility that the personality of our community would change. For example, it would go from being a place where everybody knows everybody else to a place where a lot of people are strangers. (In addition, the university students who might not care as much about the town)

 

Even though there may be one or two disadvantages to build a new university on the community, the advantages far outweigh them. The most significant reason is that more people living in the community could mean more houses being built here. Such as book stores, music stores, and cultural or recreational clubs etc. There will be the result of taking an abundant of living style and all kinds of communications to us. Such as we can learn more knowledge and feel variety interesting things.

 

Another advantage to build a new university on the community is that the student would have more convenient to go to university than did. In the past, they might have to spend one or two hours to arrive at the school, so they do not have enough time to rest at home. Such as some students live far away from university and they would have to set out on seven o’clock, if the first class start on eight o’clock.; however, there have a university near their home, they would save more time to do a lot another significative things instead of being on bus. Also, they might go to the university on foot that can let them become healthier.

 

Although I agree that there may be a couple of disadvantages to build a new university on our community, I feel that the advantages are more obvious. By setting up a new university here, people can attain lots of conveniences in many ways (on many aspects). In addition, it could be improve the cultural atmosphere in our community. In my opinion, these are the two most important effects for our community to consider, and building a new university is the best way to achieve them.