第3篇作文了，请大家使劲拍！

sphinxwt

Essay 84: Some people say that the Internet provides people with a lot of information. Others think access to so much information creates problems. Which view do you agree with? Use specific reasons and examples to support your option.

In the past few years, the world has been totally stepped into the “Information Time”, as a result of the computer popularity and internet rush. Currently, there is a widespread disagreement about the attitude to the Internet that whether it provides people with facility or creates problems. I believe the Internet to human beings is that water to fishes. Nothing in the world has the change of people’s life been more magnificent than the Internet.

 The internet technology makes it possible that people all around the world be able to share their information, which is the most important thing in 21th century. Our society is filled with the examples of successful phenomenon or events that benefit from the opportunity of information internationalizing. Mobile Digit, a small company of digital producing and marketing established in 2000 in Beijing, set a website to broadcast its products 5 years ago, and has become the forth large digital equipment company in China. What is more important, the advantages of the Internet also make full sense of common people under such circumstances as education, shopping, travelling, housing, etc. For instant, we are getting used to search on the internet for a more convenient and inexpensive travel route before we make a plan of a vacation. Without Internet, without numerous information it provides, how can we develop such a modern life, how can the world change so much?

  However, the Internet has its disadvantages as well. How long have you not received a letter written by a pen, how long have you not search for information to solve some problems in a library, how long have you think by yourself without finding answers on the Internet? The improvement of information acquiring method has push people to drop the ancient habits away, which, in some people’s view, is a regression of human civilization. 

Overall, I think the disadvantages of Internet means nothing when the advantages of it are considered. In the history of human beings, as the steam engines have replaced the labor power, and the electric equipments have replaced the steam engines again, the progress made by the Internet is also profound and significant. The wheel of the world’s developing will never stop.

sphinxwt

words: 367

time: 1h

eland_

In the past few years, the world has been totally stepped into the “Information Time”(需要被动语态吗？),
                （which is）as a result of the computer popularity and internet rush. Currently, there is a widespread disagreement about the attitude to the Internet that whether it provides people with facility（单数可数名次不能单独存在） or creates problems. I believe the Internet to human beings is that water to fishes（别扭，that是不是应该变like或the same as）. Nothing in the world has the change of people’s life been more magnificent than the Internet.(这句读着就是别扭，我想这样说Nothing in the world has made the change of people’s life more magnificent than the Internet)

 The internet technology makes it possible that people all around the world be(are) able to share their information, which is the most important thing in (the) 21th century. Our society is filled with the examples of successful phenomenon（phenomena） or events that benefit from the opportunity of information internationalizing. Mobile Digit, a small company of digital producing and marketing established in 2000 in Beijing, set a website to broadcast its products 5 years ago, and has become the forth large digital equipment company in China.(举例不够充分，只列举了一些情况，没说明他们的联系啊，开了个网站，成为第四大公司，联系呢？咋成的？不明白。网络起什么作用了？) What is more important, the advantages of the Internet also make full sense of common people under such circumstances as education, shopping, travelling, housing, etc（the advantages of the Internet also enable common people to make full sense of such circumstances as education, shopping, travelling, housing etc.) For instant, we are getting used to search on the internet for a more convenient and inexpensive travel route before we make a plan of a vacation. Without Internet, without numerous information it provides, how can we develop such a modern life, how can the world change so much?（这个就更离谱了，你这不给人家找砖拍你么，除了网络，就没别的更好的方法了吗？后边两个反问句有点牵强。你应该站主动的立场说明有了网络的什么什么好处才更加有利于我们搜集一些信息，而这些好处是其他没法比的，这样在反问更加合理）

  However, the Internet has its disadvantages as well. How long have you(禁用第二人称，作文大忌) not received a letter written by a pen, how long have you not search for information to solve some problems in a library, how long have you think by yourself without finding answers on the Internet? The improvement of information acquiring method has push people to drop the ancient habits away（老方法怎么了？没说明白啊，谁说新方法就好了？你得说出道理来啊，比如网络资源丰富，节省时间，更加准确＝＝啊）, which, in some people’s view, is a regression of human civilization. (开头你说有缺点，后来你又说没缺点，是不是矛盾？如果你说有缺点，就小说一下缺点，如果你说这些所谓的缺点其实是优点那么开头应该说别人认为的一些缺点)

Overall, I think the disadvantages of Internet means（mean） nothing when the advantages of it(去掉) are considered（taken into consideration）. In the history of human beings, as the steam engines have replaced the labor power, and the electric equipments have replaced the steam engines again, the progress made by the Internet is also profound and significant. The wheel of the world’s developing will never stop.（总结前文的一些主要观点）

PS：从句在复杂一些，最好有两个倒装句，The More You Pratice, The Better You Will Be(句型）.

Keep going on!

拍的有点忒狠了，也可能有不恰之处，希望能对你有所帮助。不好意思，我也是为你好。

同道中人互相勉励，加油！

sphinxwt

感谢啊，热泪盈眶ing

我会越挫越勇的

ps，其中有一句The Internet to human beings is that water to fishes.

类似"A to B is that C to D"我在阅读中见过几次，问过老师，得到的解释是固定句式，所以就用上了。难道我记错了？？

eland_

那可能就是固定句型，你要于有自信。