我的第一篇AA，请多指教

柯南小小

The author in this argument is trying to establish that department stores should begin to replace some of those products intended to attract the younger consumer with products intended to attract the middle-aged consumer. This conclusion is based on the assertion that department stores can expect retail sales to increase significantly. To support this conclusion, the author reasons that On average, middle-aged consumers devote 39 percent of their retail expenditure to department store products and services, while for younger consumers the average is only 25 percent. In addition, he points out that the number of middle-aged people will increase dramatically within the next decade. At first glance, the author’s argument appears to be somehow appealing, however, after closely exam the author’s logic and reasoning, we find that neither of these reasons provides sufficient support for the conclusion, and the author suffers several logical flaws.

In the first place, the author’s argument is based on a groundless assumes that the total retail expenditure of the middle-aged consumers is larger than that of the younger consumers, or at least, when the number of middle-aged people increase dramatically within the next decade, the total retail expenditure of the middle-aged consumers will exceed that of the younger consumers. However, no evidence in the report is stated to support this crucial assumption. It is obviously that the author have neglected the possibility that this assumption is false, therefore, unless the author provides more sufficient evidence to support this assumption, it is folly to conclude that department stores should begin to replace some of those products intended to attract the younger consumer with products intended to attract the middle-aged consumer.  

In the second place, the author commits a fallacy of all thing are equal. He unfairly assumes that middle-aged consumers devote 39 percent of their retail expenditure to department store products and services, while for younger consumers the average is only 25 percent will remain unchanged over the next decade. However, no sufficient evidence is stated to point out that this trend will keep unchanged in the future. In fact, it is possible that in the future, should this trend greatly fluctuate or even reverse. So, it is weak for the author to conclude that replace some of those products intended to attract the younger consumer with products intended to attract the middle-aged consumer will benefits the department stores.

To sum up, this argument is not persuasive as it stands, because the author commits the above mentioned logical mistakes. It is imprudent for the author to claim that that department stores should begin to replace some of those products intended to attract the younger consumer with products intended to attract the middle-aged consumer. Because the evidence cited in the analysis is too weak to support to what the author claims. To make the argument more convincing, the author should provide more substantial evidence to support his reasoning.

柯南小小

对了，题目是

The following appeared in the opinion column of a financial magazine:

“ On average, middle-aged consumers devote 39 percent of their retail expenditure to department store products and services, while for younger consumers the average is only 25 percent. Since the number of middle-aged people will increase dramatically within the next decade, department stores can expect retail sales to increase significantly during that period,. Furthermore, to take advantage of the trend, these stores should begin to replace some of those products intended to attract the younger consumer with products intended to attract the middle-aged consumer.”

周一就要考了呀，着急中

香香茶

写的挺不错的。没什么可改的。MM好运~~~

柯南小小

谢谢鼓励，我一定努力