以下是引用ethyl在2005-5-17 5:44:00的发言：AI 075:
"There are essentially two forces that motivate people: self-interest and fear."
Lately there is a disputation over whether self-interest and fear are two essential forces motivating people. Some people contend that self-interest and fear essentially drive most of us to do what we ought to and must do, while other people claim that self-interest and fear are not the essential forces that regulate us. In fact, the issue of whether self-interest and fear are two essential forces motivating people is an perplexing and debatable one. Whether one option has advantages over the other probably rests on the concrete circumstance. Actually, the complex nature of the above issue necessitates a case-to-case anatomy. In the following analysis, I will bring forward evidence that favoring the former one and rebutting the latter one.
In the first place, the salient reason that can be displayed to substantiate my viewpoint is that almost all of us behave according to our own interests. An appropriate example can be found in one experiment in which three persons each are required to draw a ball linked to a string out of a narrow-necked bottle as quickly as possible. The one who finishes his task most quickly will be rewarded some money; however, if none of them finishes the task in one minute, all of them will be punished. When the experimenter say "begin", all the three persons strive to be the first to pull their own ball out. However, since the bottle has so narrow a neck that only one ball is allowed to pass at one time, none of them
a
succeeds during the first minute. Of course, they all fail and are punished.
如果犀利一点的说那你的这个例子犯了一个insufficient-sample的逻辑错误。作文是一个综合的东西。语法上可以遵循sc逻辑上要把aa和lr的东西结合进来。我觉得这样会好一点：Many phsycological experiments have demonstrated this point such as the one that...
再就是这个例子太长了不够简洁，考试的时候会影响后面的发挥。
Under this circumstance, it is self-evident that self-interest is one
evident吧我觉得用self-evident不大对头
essential force motivating people.
In addition, there is another reason for me to choose the former statement. The reason is not far to seek: if you fear something, you will make every endeavor to crack it and then enjoy the success. To illustrate, consider one of my classmate Miss Li. She is a girl who like to challenge herself because she could find excite in the process of getting over difficulty. When she was in high school, she was bad at physics at first since all she felt was fear and she was not so accustomed to the ideas about this so-called science. But she did not give up; contrary to
subject
other girls' attitude about this science, Miss Li just thought that it was time for her to overcome the obstacles one by one. Day after day, she became interested in this course. After about one year, she even became the only one representative of her school to attend the Physics Olympics. And the most amazing about her was that she won the first prize and really began to love this science.
这个例子好假啊：P，不会是真的吧？如果尖锐一点说这个例子犯了一个no causal relationship的逻辑错误。我们只看到了你的同学是如何不畏困难没有看到fear怎么motivate她。换一个例子吧
Admittedly, it may be de facto truth that some people are altruistic in some conditions. However, this fact alone does not necessarily constitute a self-reliant support to the latter statement. Actually, these
strong吧，呵呵self-reliant的意思用在这里不对啊
cases are uncommon and therefore are too specific and too deficient to strengthen the view that self-interest and fear are not the essential forces that regulate us. Others may argue that because of fear, some people give up some important ideas or plans and even make no progress on their way to success. However, as long as such people can find their way to beat fear itself, they will make larger progress and their lives will become more and more interesting and exciting. When every aspects of self-interest and fear are thoroughly contemplated, the most persuasive conclusion is unmistakably that we should make good use of self-interest and fear to serve ourselves and the society.
To sum up, due to the above mentioned reasons, which always intertwine to form an organic whole and thus become more convincing, we may safely arrive at the conclusion that self-interest and fear are two essential forces motivating people. Although it may be true that some people suffer from self-interest and fear, they just need time to learn to draw on these two significant tools in our lives.
用绿色高亮的连接词用的不对，ethyl再品一品。
唉，感觉很不好，超时，挤不出东东，语言组织得一塌糊涂……
给点意见吧，尖锐一点滴，偶不怕
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发表于 2005-5-17 05:44:00
发表于 2005-5-17 08:43:00
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