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我自己的AI3的提纲,请指教。

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楼主
发表于 2003-8-12 21:10:00 | 只看该作者

我自己的AI3的提纲,请指教。

这是我今天整理的issue3的提纲,看到网上的分类,将这个题目分到两者选择中,我写得时候当成陈述写拉:(((。写完之后觉得好像也差别不大,不知道这样可不可以?

我看了孙员的提纲和新东方的例文,觉得他们的issue的观点都很艰深,很难想到合适的例子和角度去阐述,(也可能使我实在天资愚笨吧55555555),所以觉得自己写提纲。不过写完了觉得和新东方的比起来好像太浅显了,所以吃不准,拿上来显现丑,请大家批评指教拉。

Corporations and other businesses should try to eliminate the many ranks and salary grades that classify employees according to their experience and expertise. A flat organizational structure is more likely to encourage collegiality and cooperation among employees.

不同意

To begin with, hierarchical structures in corporations or other businesses help to evaluate and award employees according to their abilities and contributions and therefore help to maintain fair environments within the corporations and other businesses which is more crucial in encouraging cooperation among employees. In addition, clear ranks and grades can effectively encourage employees to work harder and achieve better performance in order to get promotions. (举个著名公司员工严格分工和等级底例子)

Second, although flat organizational structure may contribute to a certain extent to encourage collegiality and cooperation among employees, its disadvantages outweigh the advantages it brings. For example, …………………..(效率低下、员工没有进取心、激励机制不好等)

Admittedly, strict grading and ranking system in corporations may sometimes do harm to the harmonious working environment and impede the collegiality among employees. Corporations can counter this kind of disadvantages by fostering a cooperative culture within companies or by improve the communications among employees belong to different levels………..
沙发
 楼主| 发表于 2003-8-12 21:23:00 | 只看该作者
觉得AI要比AA难很多,我好像习惯了以前四六级考试的形式,喜欢议论一堆,不大习惯举例,另外还有position的选取,我觉得自己想出来的和孙员的,以及范文178的相差好多,不知道用自己的可不可以。
山峰大侠,山峰版主,一定要来这里看看啊。
板凳
发表于 2003-8-12 23:18:00 | 只看该作者
doris_tt,

Overall, I think your model is not bad. Just one suggestion.
Why not add a formal ending, and use your ending word for another paragragh?

Revision for your reference:


1 总述
2 To begin with, ...... In addition.....
3 Second, although...... For example,
4 Admittedly, ......
5 In sum,......

shanfeng


地板
 楼主| 发表于 2003-8-12 23:32:00 | 只看该作者
恩,谢谢山峰的建议。结构很重要哦!!
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