February Go

renehan

作业安排 4th February
Independent Writing:
1.When you are assigned to finish writing about an important presentation in a month,which way do you prefer?
A.To start working on it right away.
B.Wait until you have a good idea about it.
Integrated Writing:
TPO12
独立写作
renehan和libertine互改      done
tsyxyss和perfectends互改
lihaolan改Tanyar
Tanyar改cleotina(占座日期错了，姑且这次把你算上了，下次别了呵呵)
cleotina改lihaolan

综合写作
cleotina改renhan
renhan改Tanyar     done
Tanyar改cleotina

renehan

21 February
Independent Writing:
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
Young people now are more likely to help others than young people were in the past.

21 Feb

独立写作
woshimind 和 morphine001 互改
renehan 和 深水猫 互改
sunchou 改 lihaolan
lihaolan 改 berylbilee
berylbilee 改 sunchou

woshimind

The lecture states a totally different story from what the passage says. It seems plausible, as the passage described, that the option of a shortened workweek would benefit the economy as well as companies and the individual employees, the lecture argues that all the three pieces of evidence given in the passage are not quite convincing. Reasons will be listed and explained in the following paragraphs.

First of all, the lecture argues that shorter working-hours wouldn't make an increase in the company profits. It in turn may force the companies to spend more （money) because of extra expenditure on new hiring. Hiring more staff means requiring more resources, for example, additional training programs, extra medical insurance, and more office space and facilities.（有提到computers Such expenses listed above would be compulsory regardless of the working hours. （regardless of后面接句子）Therefore, the shorter working-hours and the resultant costs would reduce the company profits.

Second, the lecture disputes the second part of the passage by targeting the decrease of unemployment rates. By questioning that the option of a four-day workweek would add more job positions, the lecture provides some other possible outcome. For example, the companies may ask their employees to work overtime to make up the difference. Also the companies would have high expectation on the four-day employees, doing the same workload as the regular workweek employees do. Under this situation, there would be no additional job openings.

Finally, the lecture doubts the quality of life for shortened workweek employees. At some point, working shorter hours could decrease the employees’ job performance and unexpected performance would increase the work pressure on the employees, eventually reducing their quality of life. Furthermore, shorter-hours workers would have more chance to lose job during the economic crisis（用原词downturn就行了吧？？) than regular-hours workers.

lihaolan

To begin with, social work seeks to improve the quality of life and wellbeing of an individual, group, and community. People would feel satisfied with their life in an advanced society. For example, some basic public amenities, such as education services, recreational facilities, or medical establishment, can bring up convenience and satisfaction, which are important ingredients forhappiness (a high quality life). On the contrary, job itself can only meet people's needs and it cannot ensure people a healthy and beneficial (meanful) life.

Secondly, social work seeks to deal with many social problems such as poverty, racism, and discrimination. People would be more happily(willing to) living in a relatively peaceful and friendly community. Such a whole package cannot provide by an individual's job.( such an arduous task cannot be achieved by ) For example, San Jose and Oakland are two main cities in the US. Compared to Oakland city, a place has more crimes and other social problems; the San Jose city takes great attention to its community improvement. As a result, residents in San Jose are on the top level of the most happiness(on the top of the list which evaluates the happiness of local residents), while Oakland, is one of the worst cities to live. Ironically, people can easily find jobs in both of the two cities. 举例后点题，不要让人感觉没说完好像

And finally, I admit that, besides the advancement provided by social work, people who have a great job are more capable of contributing to their personal fulfillment. After all, work is the fundamental tool to make a livingmaking a person's livingand accommodate the most basic needs of people.

In conclusion, I want to stress that social work are beneficial to individual's happiness more than the job is. Not only because social work can improve the quality of person's life, but also because it can deal with the problems around people's life.



文章举例挺好的用词有时候不要重复，尽量多样，happy 这种词可以用simulating， delight替换。文章最好有开头，三段论，加结尾。文章连词使用不错。值得学习！！

renehan

TPO 1 短工时更好 (听力反对: lower time won’t affect companies, society and individual employees)
Sub 1: for company: spend more money, cutting off the profits.
Sub 2: for society: no more jobs available.
Sub 3: for individual: harm personal life and career path.

The lecture states a totally different story from what the passage says. It seems plausible, as the passage described, that the option of a shortened workweek would benefit the economy as well as companies and the individual employees, the lecture argues that all the three pieces of evidence given in the passage are not quite convincing. Reasons will be listed and explained in the following paragraphs.

First of all, the lecture argues that shorter working-hours wouldn't make an increase in the company profits. It in turn may force the companies to spend more, because of extra expenditure on new hiring. Hiring more staff means requiring more resources, for example, additional training programs, extra medical insurance, and more office space and facilities. Such expenses listed above would be compulsory regardless of the working hours. Therefore, the shorter working-hours and the resultant costs would reduce the company profits.

Second, the lecture disputes the second part of the passage by targeting the decrease of unemployment rates. By questioning that the option of a four-day workweek would add more job positions, the lecture provides some other possible outcome. For example, the companies may ask their employees to work overtime to make up the difference. Also the companies would have high expectation on the four-day employees, doing the same workload as the regular workweek employees do. Under this situation, there would be no additional job openings.

Finally, the lecture doubts the quality of life for shortened workweek employees. At some point, working shorter hours could decrease the employees’ job performance and unexpected performance would increase the work pressure on the employees, eventually reducing their quality of life. Furthermore, shorter-hours workers would have more chance to lose job during the economic crisis than regular-hours workers.

renehan

Job can secure people a better life like making money for economic independence. While is it true that your job provides greater happiness than your social work does? Happiness is quite a complex situation and it consists of more aspects than those of an individual's piece of work can provide. Therefore, I favor that social work contributes more to achieve individual's happiness. I will expand in details in the following paragraphs.

To begin with, social work seeks to improve the quality of life and wellbeing of an individual, group, and community. People would feel satisfied with their life in an advanced society. For example, some basic public amenities, such as education services, recreational facilities, or medical establishment, can bring up convenience and satisfaction, which are important ingredients for happiness. On the contrary, job itself can only meet people's needs and it cannot ensure people a healthy and beneficial life.

Secondly, social work seeks to deal with many social problems such as poverty, racism, and discrimination. People would be more happily living in a relatively peaceful and friendly community. Such a whole package cannot provide by an individual's job. For example, San Jose and Oakland are two main cities in the US. Compared to Oakland city, a place has more crimes and other social problems; the San Jose city takes great attention to its community improvement. As a result, residents in San Jose are on the top level of the most happiness, while Oakland, is one of the worst cities to live. Ironically, people can easily find jobs in both of the two cities.

And finally, I admit that, besides the advancement provided by social work, people who have a great job are more capable of contributing to their personal fulfillment. After all, work is the fundamental making a person's living.

In conclusion, I want to stress that social work are beneficial to individual's happiness more than the job is. Not only because social work can improve the quality of person's life, but also because it can deal with the problems around people's life.

renehan

hi, dear. thank you to make a revision of my essay. May I ask you some further advice?
1) the first paragraph: ... gaining cognition of social status --> 我为了折中扣题，要提到工作的二个方面：赚钱和社会地位。这句这样写不是特别好的话，你有什么好建议吗？我想不出来了。汗
2） therefore 后面一定要加逗号 -- > 这点多谢提醒，我之前都没注意过。
3) the second one:  ... a meaning life --> at first I wanted it be: a meaning of life. I skipped the word "of", so, which one do you think better? pursue the meaning of life / pursue a meaningful life?

我问过一些同学，他们都是在规定时间内独立成文的，可我写作文的方法不太好，像中学生写作文似的，先找到大量素材，然后编辑，然后再背下来。很耗时。

                   20 Feb

独立写作
woshimind 和 chaoyansuan 互改
renehan 改 sunchou          Done
sunchou 改 lihaolan
lihaolan 改 renehan

综合写作
woshimind 改 renehan
renehan 改 sunchou      Done
sunchou 改 woshimind

perfectends

序：红色--错误；蓝色--建议或者交流；黄色--赞

Job can secure people a better life---making money for economic independence, chasing dream of personal pursuit, and gaining cognition of social status排比不错（cognition感觉有点奇怪，获得社会地位的认知？）. While is it true that the main purpose for people who have jobs is for money rather than social status? Living is quite a complex situation and it needs to be balanced between reality and ideality, which specifically in this case indicates to money and social status.这句话好干练地道的感觉 Therefore，（therefore后面必须加,）I favor that working for money and for social status are mutually complementary.其实我感觉这个话题最好也是写折中，但是感觉一般折中都难写，我就没尝试，下文我拭目以待I will expand in details in the following paragraphs.


To begin with, if money is the primary impetus for people to get a job, they will lose their enthusiasm to pursue a meaning meaningful life, being a machine of work, eventually.好地道的感觉 Take my friend Rene as an example, when she hunted job after graduation, she took money as the top purpose and then accepted a lucrative这个很久没见人用过 job from a company, a position that she was not good at. In the mean time, she had to turn down another offer from a public organization that she was really interested in. A few years later, she talked to me that she was wrong at the first beginning. She had to travel a lot and had no time to stay with her family. This job leaves her nothing meaningful but money and money would never make up for what she sacrificed to catch up her work.


Secondly, the purpose that people work mainly for social status is unrealistic. For instance, people who are after fame and position get job in an art field have to keep drawing. However, they barely make a living by selling paintings before they become famous. Moreover, their dream chasing could place an intolerable burden on their family.

And finally, money in fact plays a role as important as social status does. For instance, people who have well-paid job are more capable of contributing to our society, making donation to charities. Such good deeds would in turn enhance people’s social status.这句话也很地道


In conclusion, I want to stress that when people seek for jobs, it’s better to weigh a balance between money and social status.


不知道楼主在海外待了多久，感觉整个文章比较地道，肯定没有用模板，但是很多话不是多么在炫耀语言却非常地道，很舒服的感觉。只有个别地方是错误，红色标出了，其他我真没感觉有什么错误可改。抱歉过年期间不太在家，我自己的也是昨晚才刚写完。到你这里才想起来还有2.8的没写，我今天晚上补。

renehan

8 February
Independent Writing:
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement
Some people think that movies and TV programs that made in their own country are more interesting than that made in other countries.

renehan

8 February
Independent Writing:
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement
Some people think that movies and TV programs that made in their own country are more interesting than that made in other countries.
Integrated Writing:
TPO16

独立写作
深水猫改renehan
renehan 改 perfectends
perfectends改深水猫
lihaolan和wsywsy1 互改

综合写作
tsyxyss 和 wsywsy1 互改