Vanessa的作文贴

vanessa923

1月12 真心是我最后一次刷T。

不成功，便成仁！

ETS，我要把你踩脚下！

然后顺利去米国找我家圆圆！！！！！！！！！

考了两次都是25，很想知道怎样才能到28捏，高手多多指点！！！！！！

批改的同学，你就使劲批吧！

套用一句台词就是：如果批，请狠批！！

大家一起加油哈！

perfectends

29的作文，今儿个回头来膜拜仔细欣赏欣赏。。。

bet

抱歉这么久才来改你的文章，我的文章也更新了，如果有空你可以帮我看下，不过后天咱俩就考试了，来不及就算了

bet

It is better to relax by watching a movie or reading a book than doing physical exercise.

When faced with daily stress and heavy burdens, people enjoy myriad approaches ranging from watching a movie, reading a book to doing some exercise to have a relax（relaxation）. Some people advocate that compared with doing some exercise, it is better for us to relax by watching a movie or reading a book. As for me, I disagree with this argument with the following reasons.

To begin with, by taking some physical exercise, we can refresh our mind, ease our nerves, and release the pressure of our daily life. According to a science research conducted by Yale University, researchers found that after taking one hour of exercise, exhausted as the testers were, 80% of them responded that they tend to have a better mood and a more positive attitudes toward daily stress. The exercise enable people to relieve their bad moods and let off the strain in a way of running and sweating. Also, in contemporary society, a multitude of workers have been increasingly  aware of the effects of taking exercise. In Japan, most white-collars would take exercise such as yoga and playing basketball indoors after work. This clearly illustrates that  doing physical exercise is undoubtedly a good way to relax.

In addition, doing some physical exercise involved（时态） in（貌似不加in） lots of friends and coworkers, we are more willing to participate in the activities and  forget the negative moods, thus achieving a  peaceful mind（这部分表达的是不是和第一段重了）. Take myself as an example. Last summer, I was overwhelmed by both the  academic paper and the approaching GRE test. I could not fall sleep（asleep） at night and even felt depressed at that time. My friend, Lisa, having(who has) noticed my depression and anxiety, then she(删) invited me to join a female badminton competition. I agreed and joined. Lisa and I formed as a mixed double and we cooperated well. During the process, I totally put myself in the playing and forgot all the unhappiness. We finally win the game. Overjoyed by the result, I suddenly realised(是什么意思？可改成feel relieved) that all the depression and anxiety were gone. With a relaxed body and mind, I prepared myself better for the upcoming challenges.(这个例子举到最后没有回归到中心句里的friends等，我觉得这段可以把和朋友们在一起享受美好时光作为重点来展开，避免和第一段重复)

Admittedly, reading a book or watching a movie can also ease your mind by offering you a quite world where you can lay down all the stress and strain. However, combining with some physical exercise, we can better release our emotions and adapt ourselves to the fast tempo of life.

In conclusion, relaxation can be obtained in many ways. Instead of hiding and surpressing the bad moods, I prefer to find an outlet in the way of taking physical exercise.



你的语言太好了，非常羡慕，地道流畅，丰富多彩，继续加油啊～～

vanessa923

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement:
It's more important for the government to build art museums and music performance center than to build recreational devices (such as swimming pool, playgrounds).






The government plays a pivotal role in improving the well-being of its citizens.  The building of infrastructural such as the railways and highroads, the building of art museums and music performance center and other recreational deviced  are essential for the public. Some people claim that it is more important for the government to build art museums and music centers than to build recreational devices. As for this statement, I disagree with the following reasons.



To begin with, we cannot emphasize the importance of the recreational devices too much. It is no exaggeration to say that these recreational facilities help improve our physical conditions and further prepare us for future life. The example of my grandma  can be used to illustrate this. After retirement, my grandmother had to stay at home and she had nothing to do. Bored and upset, she made the decision that going out to do exercise in the  neighbourhood. With the recreational devices the government offers, my grandma usually spent 2 hours to walk around and stretch her muscles. Day by day, she maintained good conditions and felt better about herselves. More importantly, she made a lot friends with those who have the same love for exercises when she walk in the neighbourhood. After that, my grandma never felt lonely and enjoyed  an enriched and healthy life.



In addition, recreational devices can offer us an opportunity to release our pressure and enjoy a whole  relax. The fast pace of modern society push people work harder and harder to fulfill the material demands without putting emphasis on their mental conditions. As a result, in increasing number of people are in a state of  sub-health which incurs insomnia and  anxiety. If the government provides recreational devices such as swimming pool and playgrounds where these pressured workers can have a whole relax and lay down their daily burden, can we say this is a good solution for modern people?



I concede that  the art and  music also play an essential role in our life since they bring us spiritual comfort and help us have a better appreciation of beauty in life. However, compared with the basic heath conditions and recreation those recreational facilities equip us with, these high-level appreciation will fade.



In conclusion, the construction of recreational facilities can never be underestimated since it concerns the physical conditions and mental development of humans. Only when people maintain a strong and healthy state can people better deal with the future challenges.

vanessa923

The effective leader tries to make others feel they have been part of a decision.





Leaders plays a pivotal role in the process of decision-making and implemention of  a policy.  In order to make the policy work well, excellent abilities as well as the cooperation of the leaders and the public are indispensable. Some people claim that the effective leaders strive to make others feel they have been part of a decision. As for this statement, I strongly agree with the following reasons.





To begin with, it is likely that making others feel they are involved in a decision can guarantee a desirable result. All the policies can not be perfectly executed without the cooperation of others. If leaders can make others feel they are part of the decision, they will benefit a lot from the involvement of more people. The similar principle can be  applied to such fields as business and politics.  For instance, it is common to see ads in newspapers and magazines boosting their products in they way of making potential consumers feel the producers are concerned about their needs and demands. By virtue of the affinity these ads and slogans bring, the products appeal to consumers and the company finally attains great success.





In addition, when others feel they have been part of a decision, they are much more willing to participate in the carrying out of the policy or decision. Maslow's pyramids of needs points out that we all seek for the sense of belongingness and confirmation. So it is natural for people to make more contribution to the further development after being confirmed. Take myself as an example. When I was in high school, I was not good at math and mostly I fell behind  in my academic records. One day  my math teacher, Miss Yang, asked me to go to her office. She understood my situation. I had no idea of what she intended to say and I thought maybe it was another platitude.  To my surprise, Miss Yang shared her idea of offering math tutoring after class with me. "You are intelligent and I really have high expectation for you. I hope you can make full use of this opportunity and improve your math." she encouraged me and said.  The thought of being a part of the decision really inspired me and I was determined to learn math well from that moment.



From what  have discussed above, I can safely draw th conclusion that it is judicious of leaders to play a effective role by the way of making others feel they are part of the decision, for the immense benefits as a result of  people' s involvement  and commitment.

vanessa923

It is better to relax by watching a movie or reading a book than doing physical exercise.



When faced with daily stress and heavy burdens, people enjoy myriad approaches ranging  from watching a movie, reading a book to doing  some exercise to have a relax. Some people advocate that compared with doing some exercise, it is better for us to relax by watching a movie or reading a book. As for me, I disagree with this argument with the following reasons.



To begin with, by taking some physical exercise, we can refresh our mind, ease our nerves, and release the pressure of our daily life. According to a science research conducted by Yale University, researchers found that after taking one hour of exercise, exhausted  as the testers were, 80% of them responded that they tend to have a better mood and a more positive attitudes towarddaily stress. The exercise enable people to relieve their bad moods and let off the strain in a way of running and sweating. Also, in contemporary society, a multitude of workers have been increasingly  aware of the effects of taking exercise. In Japan, most white-collars would take exercise such as yoga and playing basketball indoors after work. This clearly illustrates that  doing physical exercise is undoubtedly a good way to relax.



In addition, doing some physical exercise involved in lots of friends and coworkers, we are more willing to participate in the activities and  forget the negative moods, thus achieving a  peaceful mind. Take myself as an example. Last summer, I was overwhelmed by both the  academic paper and the approaching GRE test. I could not fall sleep at night and even felt depressed at that time. My friend, Lisa, having noticed my depression and anxiety, then she invited me to join a female badminton competition. I agreed and joined. Lisa and I formed as a mixed double and we cooperated well. During the process, I totally put myself in the playing and forgot all the unhappiness. We finally win the game. Overjoyed by the result, I suddenly realised that all the depression and anxiety were gone. With a relaxed body and mind, I prepared myself better for the upcoming challenges.



Admittedly, reading a book or watching a movie can also ease your mind by offering you a quite world where you can lay down all the stress and strain. However, combining with some physical exercise, we can better release our emotions and adapt ourselves to the fast tempo of life.



In conclusion, relaxation can be obtained in many ways. Instead of hiding and surpressing the bad moods, I prefer to find an outlet in the way of taking physical exercise.

vanessa923

补修改，26号的独立

Most problems can be solved by people or their families, help from the government is unnecessary.





Faced with a large quantity of problems, people may resort to their friends or their family. However, some people suggest that with the help from others, the help from the government is unnecessary. As for this topic, I prefer to say no. (这句话太短了)Indeed, the help from the government is as important as that from others（指代不清，other people可能会好一些）.


As for many such trivial problems as the need to have some comfort when having a bad mood or forgetting to bring the key to home, we definitely can call our friends or family members to solve these things. I believe that friends and family can give you the most warm（warmest） hug when you feel lonely. And also they are those who are the first to give you comfort and give you their shoulder when you intend to give up. In regard to these(this) kind of situation, there is no need to turn to the government. I firmly believe that our beloved can drive away all the gloom and clear all the obstacles for us. (先承认朋友的帮助很大，这段不错。)

However, on this planet there exist not only these trivial things but also some grand things which relate closely to the human beings and all the species on this planet. Problems like the environmental protection are in urgent need of human efforts. There is no doubt that this problem cannot be solved by some people, but the whole endeavor of all human beings. The role of the government is of great significance. The government has obligation to call for its citizens to make contribution. Moreover, it needs to join together with other government to establish global strategies to fight against the unknown enemy. I cannot imagine what will happen without the leadership of our government and close cooperation between governments in the battle of nature. （然后说政府也能帮助很多事情，这段的主题句和分论断不是很清晰）




More importantly, the aid from the government is closely related with our daily life. For some poor family, they can not afford the education of their kids. With the financial support from the government, an increasing number of kids have access to elementary and better education. Nowadays we witnessed the increase of crime rates and violence but we common people have no choice but to accept it. It is the government that make great efforts to curb the crime rate and try to offer us a more safe and harmonious society. （这段似乎与上段区别不大，主题句可能写得不够好.）

In conclusion, even though people can solve problems by themselves or their beloved ones, we still cannot ignore the necessary help from the government.

________________________________________________________________

Most problems can be solved by people or their families, help from the government is unnecessary.
==>>When faced with difficulties, everyone needs help, either from our friends or family members.

As for many such trivial problems as the need to have some comfort when having a bad mood or forgetting to bring the key to home, we definitely can call our friends or family members to solve these things.
==>>Such minor problems as being fired or forgetting to bring the home key, we definitely can call for our friends or family members to help us deal with these things.


Problems like the environmental protection are in urgent need of human efforts.
==>> There are many problems, such as the global warming and the epidemic of malaria, that require people's efforts.

-- by 会员 conanwang (2012/12/31 20:35:35)

改的好简练！恩恩谢谢！

conanwang

补修改，26号的独立

Most problems can be solved by people or their families, help from the government is unnecessary.





Faced with a large quantity of problems, people may resort to their friends or their family. However, some people suggest that with the help from others, the help from the government is unnecessary. As for this topic, I prefer to say no. (这句话太短了)Indeed, the help from the government is as important as that from others（指代不清，other people可能会好一些）.


As for many such trivial problems as the need to have some comfort when having a bad mood or forgetting to bring the key to home, we definitely can call our friends or family members to solve these things. I believe that friends and family can give you the most warm（warmest） hug when you feel lonely. And also they are those who are the first to give you comfort and give you their shoulder when you intend to give up. In regard to these(this) kind of situation, there is no need to turn to the government. I firmly believe that our beloved can drive away all the gloom and clear all the obstacles for us. (先承认朋友的帮助很大，这段不错。)

However, on this planet there exist not only these trivial things but also some grand things which relate closely to the human beings and all the species on this planet. Problems like the environmental protection are in urgent need of human efforts. There is no doubt that this problem cannot be solved by some people, but the whole endeavor of all human beings. The role of the government is of great significance. The government has obligation to call for its citizens to make contribution. Moreover, it needs to join together with other government to establish global strategies to fight against the unknown enemy. I cannot imagine what will happen without the leadership of our government and close cooperation between governments in the battle of nature. （然后说政府也能帮助很多事情，这段的主题句和分论断不是很清晰）




More importantly, the aid from the government is closely related with our daily life. For some poor family, they can not afford the education of their kids. With the financial support from the government, an increasing number of kids have access to elementary and better education. Nowadays we witnessed the increase of crime rates and violence but we common people have no choice but to accept it. It is the government that make great efforts to curb the crime rate and try to offer us a more safe and harmonious society. （这段似乎与上段区别不大，主题句可能写得不够好.）

In conclusion, even though people can solve problems by themselves or their beloved ones, we still cannot ignore the necessary help from the government.

________________________________________________________________

Most problems can be solved by people or their families, help from the government is unnecessary.
==>>When faced with difficulties, everyone needs help, either from our friends or family members.

As for many such trivial problems as the need to have some comfort when having a bad mood or forgetting to bring the key to home, we definitely can call our friends or family members to solve these things.
==>>Such minor problems as being fired or forgetting to bring the home key, we definitely can call for our friends or family members to help us deal with these things.


Problems like the environmental protection are in urgent need of human efforts.
==>> There are many problems, such as the global warming and the epidemic of malaria, that require people's efforts.

lizchang1990

1229 independent!

文章好恶心，最近估计不是我不在状态,而是文章都很恶心,哈哈,特意来看你咋写的~~
We students often are faced with such a situation: when assigned an important presentation, should us do it right away or wait until a good idea occur(加s) to us and then we set about to handle it? As for this kind of situation, I would choose to do it right now instead of waiting for an（小粗心噢） good idea.

To begin with, th motivation or the inspiration is hard to catch in the process of creation. Most of the times, a good idea is spontaneously coming (貌似不要is了吧,把coming换come)out and you will never know where it comes from. For this reason, it is foolish of us to wait when facing an important and urgent presentation. If you adhere to your principle that you will not get down to your assignments until you have a fantastic idea, mostly, you will end up with being late for the deadline of these assignments. I still remember one time I had two weeks to finish my presentation on Celtic culture. I insisted that only when I got a perfect idea of how I present and what I introduce to my classmates should I go about my presentation. To my great disappointment, I figured out no good idea in the two weeks and in the end, I finished the presentation carelessly and hurriedly.

In addition, if you choose to work on the presentation a little bit everyday, you can take your pace and later further improve it with the time left. On one hand, with a good control of your time, you will hand over the whole situation and better allocate(不知道这个搭配地道没，我感觉常见的是manage,这个allocate分配的东西是具体的吧) your time and make the presentation. On the other hand, a good presentation will of course attract the eyes of teachers and totally upgrade your academic scores. Combine with efficiency and good quality, the presentation will be finished perfectly.

Given all the reasons I mentioned, I firmly believe that it is judicious of us to do the presentation a little bit day by day instead of waiting for a good idea.

总评价：你的观点都很清晰明了，也能支撑你的观点，就是短了点，但不能怪你，这么恶心的题目，我着实也没啥思绪,一度怀疑自己是不是有问题了~~~

TPO24

The reading passage reveals a discovery that the T.rex may include the remains of the actual tissues of the animal and supports this discovery with three points. However, the professor contends that the three points stated in the reading passage is skeptical with three corresponding points.

To begin with, as for the small branching channels which imply blood vessels, the professor argues that the soft and organic substance inside may not be the remains of actual blood vessels of T.rex, but something else. The professor further explains that the bacterial living in the empty hallow of the leg bone may leave traces of organic material which are similar to the substance mentioned in the reading passage. So it is highly likely that these substance(小粗心) are the residue of the bacterial, not the T.rex's.

In addition, the reading passage states that the presence of spheres indicate the remains of the red blood cells. Contrary to this point, the professor points out that there are no red blood cells in the dead animals and the dark red centers are more likely to be red minerals.（表示我没听出来这个） So this points （小粗心）opposes the second idea in the reading passage.

Last but not least, according to the passage, there exist collagen in the dinosaur leg bone after the a test. However, the professor opposes this points (你的第二次同样粗心噢)by saying that there is no collagen in animals older then T.rex, let alone much recent animal fossils. Moreover, the professor explains that the collagen found in the dinosaur leg bone is from much more recent animals, such as from the researchers' hand（？skin跟hand感觉还是有用词的区别吧） when dealing with the fossils. This directly contradicts the counterparts in the reading passage.

In conclusion, the professor uses vivid and convincing examples and points to illustrate that the idea in the reading passage is untenable.