第一次加入写作分队 xiaoqing song

shanhunian · 发表于 2012-12-28 20:46:35

第一次加入写作分队，希望能在这里取得大大的进步。坚持，加油！！

lizchang1990 · 发表于 2012-12-29 22:30:20

顶一个先!!!!!!

顺便撒花~~~~

加油哦!!!!!!!!!!

shanhunian · 发表于 2012-12-30 18:45:32

第一次写作文呀，不知道怎么上传啊，呜呜呜。也没人在可以指导下啊。。。

vanessa923 · 发表于 2012-12-30 18:48:46

直接点“回复”，然后把作文复制粘贴即可。

shanhunian · 发表于 2012-12-30 22:48:59

29 December
Independent Writing: When you are assigned an important presentation for work or school, you prefer to work on it right away so that you can work on it a little bit every day, or wait until you have a good idea about the presentation?

There is an old saying that do it a little, do it long. Some people state that inspiration is extremely important for them to do the work well. Due to the good idea at the very moment, it would greatly help people make the work perfectly. For my part, I strongly feel that doing the vital presentation for work or school a little bit every day is better because of the good quality that I can commit for this kind of the job.

To begin with, doing the presentation given by work or school every day means that I could have enough time to look for many related articles. Since I have so much time to do the work that I can research for many articles, classify them, and sum them in a line. Based on these analyses, I could have a deeper thought on this presentation greatly. Finally, I could get a well done on this work. For example, my professor assigned me a task about the special topic upon the higher education that I major in my post-graduation now. My professor required me to finish this task in two months. Just what I said above, i looked for many essays to review, analysis, and summary every day so that I got an ideal result on this task, which makes my professor praised me greatly. For this reason, it is always good for us to do something important every day rather than do it until we have a good idea about this task.

What’s more, it is a comfortable way for me to do the assignment obtained from my school or work, which demonstrates that I will not be easily tired. For the little bit duty on the presentation, I can perform it every day flexibly. For example, as I mentioned before, when my professor gave me a task not so long ago, I just did the work for two hours every day. During the two hours, I only needed to find the similar articles and resources, then classified them on file. After that, i could have a break greatly. On the contrary, if I spent rather a long time, such as eight hours, I would feel quite tired finally. In addition, it would lead me to have a headache due to the intensive work that I focused on. Therefore, performing the vital task every day is not committed to others how good it would, but knowing that there is no success, achievement, we could always do it well every day and do not feel so much tired.

Finally, beginning to conduct on the presentation until we have a good idea is not good for us in our daily life, because we cannot be sure when we could get this so-called good idea. As we all know, not every person could perceive the problem or issue at the very moment when we are finishing the task. If we only concentrate on this inspiration, we may waste so much time at last. Moreover, it is a common belief that there are so many accidents or urgencies that may happen beyond our thought. In this case, it is always intelligent for us to finish the presentation in advance, that is, do it a little bit every day.

From what i listed above, I deem that working at the presentation a little bit every day could be definitely better than just doing it until we have a good idea for the presentation. For one thing, we could ensure enough time to fulfill the duty and not become so much tired. For another thing, we may deal with the urgency that is not within our plan so that we can finish the presentation on time.

真的很抱歉啊，第一次弄啊，以为一直等人叫上传作业啊，回复晚了。呜呜。。写的很差，第一次认真准备作文啊，虚心求教中。。

vanessa923 · 发表于 2012-12-30 23:15:14

黄色精彩，蓝色建议，红色错误。
There is an old saying that do it a little, do it long. Some people state that inspiration is extremely important for them to do the work well. Due to the good idea at the very moment, it would greatly help people make the work perfectly. For my part, I strongly feel that doing the vital（放在这里有点怪） presentation for work or school a little bit every day is better because of the good quality that I can commit for this kind of the job.

To begin with, doing the presentation given by work or school every day means that I could have enough time to look for many related articles. Since I have so much time to do the work that I can research for many articles, classify them, and sum them in a line. Based on these analyses, I could have a deeper thought on this presentation greatly. Finally, I could get a well done（不知道well done有没有这种用法，你可以说do well in） on this work. For example, my professor assigned me a task about the special topic upon the higher education that I major in my post-graduation now. My professor required me to finish this task in two months. Just what I said above, i looked for many essays to review, analysis, and summary（动词形式） every day so that I got an ideal result on this task, which makes my professor praised（V原型） me greatly. For this reason, it is always good for us to do something important every day rather than do it until we have a good idea about this task.

What’s more, it is a comfortable way for me to do the assignment obtained from my school or work, which demonstrates that I will not be easily tired. For the little bit duty on the presentation, I can perform it every day flexibly. For example, as I mentioned before, when my professor gave me a task not so long ago, I just did the work for two hours every day. During the two hours, I only needed to find the similar articles and resources, then classified them on file. After that, i could have a break greatly. On the contrary, if I spent rather a long time, such as eight hours, I would feel quite tired finally. In addition, it would lead me to have a headache due to the intensive work that I focused on. Therefore, performing the vital task every day is not committed to others how good it would （没看懂。。。）（be）, but knowing that there is no success, achievement, we could always do it well every day and do not feel so much tired.

Finally, beginning to（用starting to 或者setting out吧） conduct on the presentation until we have a good idea is not good for us in our daily life, because we cannot be sure when we could get this so-called good idea. As we all know, not every person could perceive the problem or issue at the very moment when we are finishing the task. If we only concentrate on this inspiration, we may waste so much time at last. Moreover, it is a common belief that there are so many accidents or urgencies that may happen beyond our thought. In this case, it is always intelligent for us to finish the presentation in advance, that is, do it a little bit every day.

From what i listed above, I deem that working at the presentation a little bit every day could be definitely better than just doing it until we have a good idea for the presentation. For one thing, we could ensure enough time to fulfill the duty and not become so much tired. For another thing, we may deal with the urgency that is not within our plan（用control会不会更好？） so that we can finish the presentation on time.（总结的很不错哦！）

思路清晰，语言流畅。建议MM可以多写些漂亮句子拿高分哈！

shanhunian · 发表于 2012-12-30 23:51:19

非常感谢改的同学呀，感谢指正！！

shanhunian · 发表于 2013-1-1 10:58:43

先上传综合的作文哈，改的同学麻烦了。第一次认真练习综合部分，只好先从模版模仿开始了，呜呜呜。。。
31 DecemberTPO 2综合

The lecture material and reading material have entirely opposite ideas about whether a group of people to be a team is the best method to get new projects. The speaker argues that the writer’s thought is a little bit of problematic in the real life. After that, the speaker uses three specific points to support his opinions.

To start with, the speaker fights against the first statement in the reading, which states that the members in a team could have a comprehensive range of knowledge, profession and technical ability. Then the speaker demonstrates that some people in the team are nearly free and they do not even do anything. When the team gets an excellent result, the real giver could not be rewarded by his name due to the benefit for the whole. So the real giver would not be praised by the team.

What’s more, the speaker casts light on the second point in the reading, which states that the team workers could finish tasks fast and solve problems creatively as a result of vast people and resources input. For one thing, the speaker points out that the team cannot run efficiently since the team would have so many meetings and these team members would hardly have consistent ideas that they only make the project last long. And if the two persons within the team perform over others greatly, they would drop others’ ideas, let alone the further discussion. For another, some people in the team want to warm the rest members, but they would just be ignored by the rest of the people.

Finally, the speaker opposes the third issue in the passage, which explains that everyone could benefit from the team’s achievement. He makes his point by saying that if the team ends up in failure, everyone will be blamed increasingly.

To sum up, the speaker carefully discerns the flaws of the reading passage and takes one more step to reveal that the fallacies need a close scrutiny.

shanhunian · 发表于 2013-1-1 13:11:44

忘记计时写了，字数多了。。。。。总是在想精美的词和句式表达啊。。。。呜呜。。。。。很菜呀。。。。

31 December

Independent Writing: Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? People can learn more from watching television than by reading books.

There is an old saying that never too old to learn. More and more people nowadays have concern that learning is increasingly becoming our central theme. Now, here comes a puzzle: whether can we learn much more from the television or not? And what about the books? From my point of view, I deem that watching television could greatly help us to learn more than reading books do in our daily life.

To begin with, it is much more convenient for us to watch TV programs at home when we are free, which means that we could obtain more knowledge from the TV. To be more exactly, I want to take my father as an example. When he gets back home from his company after work every day, he will go to the drawing room first, make a cup of tea, and open the television ultimately. During the time of watching TV, he would greatly have a deep thinking for a long time. And more often my father chats with us about the events that have been seen from the TV. After that, all of us could know much more about the ideas upon a certain topic. By contrast, if we want to learn much knowledge from the books, which are not so easy to get due to the certain kind of books we do not have so far, we would have to go to the book store or library to buy one. As a consequence, it will cost so much time to get the book we really want to read that we cannot learn so much from the books. For this reason, strongly feel that it is more easier for us to watch TV at home that we can get more knowledge from the TV.

What’s more, watching TV at home could definitely save so much money that we are completely willing to choice this kind of learning, then increasing our gains from the TV directly. To be more precise, it is a common belief that our human beings are very pleasure about the cheaper way to learn something value. For example, I went to the book store to buy a textbook, called University, to review my major knowledge, it cost me 100 yuan RMB completely. During the first term in my post-graduation, I have spent 1000 yuan RMB to buy the books in the book store near my school. On the contrary, my mother wants to learn the cooking, she just needs to open the TV, being conducting from the guide in the television with free. As we all know, the service fee to the TV is really cheap per year, it just cost 480 yuan RMB per year in our city. Therefore, it is much more cheaper to learn something from the TV than from the books, which in turn getting more knowledge from the TV.

Finally, the TV could provide variety of programs for the audiences, leading people to learn a wide range of knowledge, skills and expertise. Even though the books could have a deep thought upon a topic, the television could offer us all kinds of important information as well. Namely, there are so many types of programs in the television, such as news, entertainment, education, etc. All these programs could extremely broad our horizon, which is so vital for us to work when we young people start to enter into the society. In addition, through the comprehensive knowledge from the television, we humans could easily pay the way for success in our whole life, which in turn encourages us to learn more knowledge from the television. Hence, we modern people could deeply learn much from the television instead of the books.

To sum up, I firmly believe that watching television could receive much more knowledge than reading the books do. For one thing, we could watch TV at home whenever we want and spend less money on TV. For another, we will get diverse kind of information from the TV that is the key to the success.

lizchang1990 · 发表于 2013-1-1 21:17:03

Beauty,　you might change your conclusion at the end~~~now, we like the same person~ Good luck　！Ｉｗｉｌｌ　ｇｉｖｅ　ｍｙ　ｃｏｍｍｅｎｔｓ　ａｆｔｅｒ　１０：３０ｐｍ．

第一次加入写作分队 xiaoqing song

改29独立！

所属分类: TOEFL / IELTS

正在浏览此版块的会员 ()

浏览过的版块