菜鸟的第一篇aa

以下是引用老螃蟹在2003-11-13 23:37:00的发言：
1、the following appeared as part of an annual report sent to stockholders by olympic foods, a processor of frozen foods.

  “over time, the costs of processing go down because as organizations learn how to do things better, they become more efficient. in color film processing, for example, the cost of a 3-by-5-inch print fell from 50 cents for five-day service in 1970 to 20 cents for one-day service in 1984. the same principle applies to the processing of food. and since olympic foods will soon celebrate its twenty-fifth birthday, we can expect that our long experience will enable us to minimize costs and thus maximize profits.”

In this argument the author conclude （concludes）that the olympic food company can minimize costs and maximize profits as long as their experience accumulated（accumulates）. The conclusion rest （rests）on the assumes （用名词形式！assumption）that the costs of processing go down because as （这两个词罗列是累赘，去掉because）organizations learn how to do things better. To support his argument the author analogous （这是形容词，用它的动词形式，analogizes）the costs going down in frozen foods processing to the costs going down in color film processing. This argument is unconvincing for several reasons.

In the first place, the author falsely depends on gratuitous assumption that the experience accumulated is the cause of the costs going down. However, no evidence is stated in the argument to support this assumption. There （加are）some other points which take inflence on the costs as well as the experience in processing. For example, the price of the material declining will cause the cost declining. Therefore, this argument is unwarranted without ruling out such possibility

In the second place, the author rests on the assumption that the costs going down in frozen foods processing to the costs going down in color film processing in all aspects. The assumption is weak since there are much dissimilarity （动词用的复数，宾语却用的单数！改为are many dissimilatiries）between the frozen foods and the color film. For example, the material for color film has changed as the improving of the technology, but the material for frozen food is constant in many years. The conclusion from such an analogous （这回该用名词形式了！analogy）is complete unwarranted.

Last but not least, grant that the experience accumulated can cause the declining of the costs of frozen food.（这句有问题，缺主语。如果想处理成短语形式的话，把grant改为granting） but this can not prove the experience accumulated （accumulation）can maximize profits. If the quantity of the price declining doesn’t over （isn't over）the quantity of the cost declining, the profits will decline.

In conclusion, the author fails to provide adequate justification to draw a conclusion that long experience will enable them to minimize costs and thus maximize profits. As it stands, the reasoning does not constitute a logical argument in favor of the recommendation. To strengthen the argument, the author would have to provide evidence to prove that the experience is the only factor which affect （又是单复数问题，affects）the costs. To better assess the argument, we need additional detailed information about the expectable price of frozen food so that we can establish the conclusion whether the company can minimize its costs and maximize its profits with long experience.