鲜花村的写作贴

猫和鸭 · 发表于 2012-8-14 12:31:45

《写作小分队》鲜花村
know about the events happening around the world that do not affect our life.D\A

As the modern society develops, there is a debate over whether we know about the events happening around the world that affect our life. Different people hold different opinions on this topic because of their distinct backgrounds. Some people arrest that it do not affect their life.In contrast, I prefer the view that know about events happening around the world that affect our life. My view can be greatly substantiated by following discussions.

The frist reason I want to put forward is that know about the event,especially,the security problem of different country or place really affect our life. A particular example for this is my parents who want to realize their dream that have a long trip by themself on Middle East,like Iran,Turkey...They concerned about the event happening around there before they would set out. By the news.,They know there had the bad situation because countries of Middle East were at war with each other. There is no denying that the security of Middle East have gone from bad to worse and it will risk the life. So they were compelled to give up having the long trip there. this example proves that know about events happening around the world is really important on our life.

The second reason I want to put forward is that know about the events happening around the world can make business avoid the bad economical situation.A good case in point is that my big brother Mike who run a big foreign trade business.he has a very good habit that concerns the world situation matters every day,and last year he had a hunch that the economics will depress，So he adjusted the market strategy in time and fortunately, tided over the crisis. What a great job my brother did!This case is not rare in reality.As a result,in order to running business on safety situation to improve the life of employer and employees,we have to know about the events happening around the world. But on the other hand,just imagine what would be like if he did not pay attention on the world economical events,he would out of control on his company,even put himself out of business.Not only would he get bankrupt,but his employees would lost their jobs which can keep their family's life.

'Know the mutant; kill the mutant.' How many times we hear such words like this.It is conceivable that knowing about the events happening around the world plays an important role in our life. On no account can we ignore the importance of this. So from what had been discussed,I reinforce my standpoint to choose to disagree the topic that know about the events happening around that do not affect our life.

lemonyhu · 发表于 2012-8-14 16:58:46

先把我的地址告你哈~
http://forum.chasedream.com/TOEFL_Writing/thread-743829-3-1.html#last

lemonyhu · 发表于 2012-8-14 17:25:46

8/13独立写作 TO：HUHU （从WORD文档贴过来的，字体和分段操作不了，麻烦凑合看一下哈！）
know about the events happening around the world that do not affect our life.D\A

As the modern society develops, there is a debate over whether we know about the events happening around the world that affects our life. Different people hold different opinions on this topic because of their distinct backgrounds. Some people arrest that it（it 指代的内容写出来更清楚） do（does）not affect their life. In contrast, I prefer the view that knowing（动名词作主语）about events happening around the world that affect our life. My view can be greatly substantiated by following discussions.

The frist reason I want to put forward is that know about the event,especially,the security problem of different country or place really affect our life. A particular example for this is my parents who want to realize their dream that have a long trip by themself on Middle East,like Iran,Turkey（这个地方我觉得用破折号更好 realize their dream- having a long trip to the Middle east 另外，like 一般不用来举栗子， as 更好。还有themselves的形式）. They concerned about the event happening around there before they would set out. By the news,(According to更好吧？~~~) They know there had the bad situation（something bad happened there）because countries of Middle East were at war with each other. There is no denying that the security of Middle East have（注意单复数哦）gone from bad to worse and it will risk the life. So they were compelled to give up having the long trip there. this example proves that know about events happening around the world is really important on our life.

The second reason I want to put forward is that know about the events happening around the world can make business avoid the bad economical situation（这个不太常用的感觉，prevent from之类的更明白）.A good case in point is that my big brother Mike who run a big foreign trade business.（这句话像没说完呢~建议和后面那句合起来，用从句说）he has a very good habit that concerns the world situation matters every day,and last year he had a hunch that the economics will depress，So he adjusted the market strategy in time and fortunately, tided over the crisis. What a great job my brother did! This case is not rare in reality.As a result,in order to running business on safety situation to improve the life of employer and employees,we have to know about the events happening around the world. But on the other hand,just imagine what would be like if he did not pay attention on（to） the world economical events, he wouldout of control on his company,even put himself out of business.Not only would he get bankrupt, but his employees would lost their jobs which can keep their family's life. （这句有些奇怪呢~后面记住用but also 才表示并且，keeps life不准）
'Know the mutant; kill the mutant.' How many times we hear such words like this. It is conceivable that knowing about the events happening around the world plays an important role in our life. On no account can we ignore the importance of this. So from what had been （has been）discussed, I reinforce my standpoint to choose to disagree the topic that know about the events happening around that do not affect our life.

总体来说思路清晰，例子也很好，但是用词有些还是不太准确，一些句型的运用不够熟练，需要多看看多练练，当然我也净是这种毛病TT
然后还是注意单三，你可以在word里写然后他会给你更正错误的，这样你自己就能自己找找错在哪儿，我觉得还是挺有好处的~
以上~~~辛苦啦

猫和鸭 · 发表于 2012-8-15 05:52:24

8/14 综合写作TPO-12

In the lecture,the professor completely refutes what stated in the reading passage.He said that the theory stated in the passage was very questionable.

First of all, the professor claims that Jane Austen had been dead for around 70 years. That means his family member who asserted the portrait was Jane Austen had never seen her at all .In contrast,the reading passage states that the portrait must be Jane Austen herself. So,the lecture totally disagrees with the view made in the reading.

Second,the professor mentions that the portrait should be one of Jane Austen's relatives. Because the Austen family was very large and there were many teenage female cousins who were similar to Jane Austen .Contradicting what is just stated in the reading that the face in this portrait is very similar to adult Austen's face of another painting which made by her sister,like nose,mouth,even overall shape of the face,but this proves nothing. This is another demonstration contradicts theory.

Finally,the professor raises the issue that the blank canvas which on the back of portrait did not sold in a period when Jane Austen was a teenager. Because according to the record,the businessman of this blank canvas started selling it till Jane Austen was 27 years old when she 's already an adult. This point disagrees with that the teenage girl of the portrait which has come up for sale by Asuten family is Jane Austen demonstrated in the reading.

In a summary,all above mentioned reasons of the lecture illustrate that the professor disagrees with the point.

猫和鸭 · 发表于 2012-8-16 08:08:11

8月15日独立写作
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement. Parents should allow their children to make mistakes and let them learn from their own mistakes.

As the modern society develops, there is a debate over whether we know about parents should allow their children to make mistakes and let them learn from their own mistakes. Different people hold different opinions on this topic because of their distinct backgrounds. Some people disagree that parents should allow their children to make mistakes and let them learn from their own mistakes.In contrast, I prefer the view that parents should allow their children to make mistakes and let them learn from their own mistakes. My view can be greatly substantiated by following discussions.

First,It is universally acknowledged that the process of the growing is the process of learning and developing for children. They will learn discrimination between right and wrong. This is the important process of thinking for children.A recent case concerns my uncle's son Tom who's ten years old, likes eating ice cream very much. One day, he ate so many ice creams that got serious pain from his belly. My uncle immediately take Tom rush direct to hospital for an emergency treatment. Thank God,matter did not become worse. There's no doubt that Tom got serious pain experience and learnt by himself that taking cold food too much was a great influence on him health from this event. So we can see learning from their own mistakes is very necessary.

Second, learning how to handle the pressure when children faces the difficulties is also important for children in their process of the growing. As it did in the case of my sister's daughter Rose in her age 8. She broken her mother's favorite vase when she played with her friends home.To make matter worse, the broken vase made expensive hardwood floor mess around.She felt really sorry about it.when her mother got home,she deeply apologized to her mother and helped her to clean the floor earnestly, on this event, she knew about her mistake and she tried her best to face it and bravely dealed with it. What a great job Rose did!

In contrast, Imagine the result when parents do not allow their children to make mistakes and let them learn their own mistakes.These children will always follow their parents's thinking and reactions blindly. There is no denying that they will never learn how to thinking and how to handling when they meet the difficulties in their futures. It is really a great influence on their lives.

From all the above we discussed, we can safely draw the conclusion that in order to the health developing of children, we should let children learn to think and handle when they are in some difficult situations and learn to face them bravely when they make mistakes, and therefore parents should allow their children to make mistake and let them learn their own mistakes.

猫和鸭 · 发表于 2012-8-17 11:04:02

8月16日
独立
Nowadays, it is much easier to achieve success with help from one’s family than what is like before.

As the modern society develops, there is a debate over whether we know about it's much easier achieve success with help from one's family than what is like before. Different people hold different opinions on this topic because of their distinct backgrounds. Some people disagree that it's not much easier to achieve success with help from one's family than what is like before. In contrast, I prefer the view that it's much easier to achieve success with help from one's family than what is like before. My view can be greatly substantiated by following discussions.

First,There is no doubt that if one people wanna start an enterprise,he will have to prepare more money for it. Otherwise he can't keep it going on. A good case in point is that my classmate Rose who's family runs a very successful furniture factory. Rose like reading book very much,and her dream is running a book store. But the problem is not so simple if she wanna run a book store. Of cause, she need the money for opening the book store. And it's not just a very little money, it's around 50,000 yuan. Fortunately, her family gave her a hand when she's in this difficult situation. Now she's running the book store successfully. And recently she told me that she has alreay earned more money that she will open second book store in the near future. Thank to her family's support, she finally realized her dream.

Second,There is no denying that the good families will bring the profound impact on their children. It is universally acknowledged that the US President Bush and his family. We know bush's father had been a US President before, and now he became a US President again. We can't say there has no any connect with both. I think the education and impact from his family is very important. He can got lots form his family,like thinking method,learning direction,social skill and encouragement.His family gave him so many helps, that is why Bush can be US President.

Finally, on the contrary, if we can't get help from our families,I think we are hard to success. As it did in the case of my playmate May in my hometown, a little country village. Since she went to senior high school,she has studyed very hard,because her dream is leaving from the village to get education in university of big city. And when she's 20 years old she was admitted to an university of Beijing. What a great job May did! But unfortunately, at that year her father took sick and died a week late,and her family spent whole money, even owed others lots of money .So she can not get education in university,she have to get a job for the owing money. As far as we know.,nothing is more important than to receive education. This is really pity!So if we can't get help from our family we really can't easier to achieve success.

From all the above we discussed, we can safely draw the conclusion that It is much easier to achieve success with help from one’s family than what is like before.

晨依Jacqueline · 发表于 2012-8-18 02:09:11

8月15日独立作文修改
写得不错，没有什么错误，就有几处小细节可能没注意粗心了。
我主要写了一些建议，不只是针对这篇文章来讲，可能会对以后的其他作文也会有帮助的吧。
Hope it helps...

猫和鸭 · 发表于 2012-8-18 03:03:38

17号综合TPO15 TO KCH

First,the lecture apparently disputes the points illustrated in the reading material. According to the passage that claims there has three suggestions for this topic.but this listening is not in agreement with that of the reading passage.

First, the reading passage states that cane toad can be keep in limit place by national fence to control growing and propagating.but the professor hold a positive attitude towards that because the national fence can't work on the river way,like rivers and streams which will spear out to the place that national fence doesn't cover. So the young canes and cane eggs still can multiplied rapidly in other side. This suggestion is not effective.

Second,the professor mentions that letting the volunteer to capture and destroy the cane toad is not wise. She asserts that these volunteers didn't be trained on how to know which one is the cane toad and which one is not the cane toad. So they maybe capture and destory the wrong animal that similar with cane toad. And if they didn't be trained, they may can't distinguish whether the toad is safety to people or not. If not, that will be dangerous to volunteers. This content that explicitly contradicts that reading passage.

Finally,the professor opposes to the reading passage's expectation that using the virus to control the cane toad's populations is not a good idea. Because if the people use this kind of virus on the cane toads, theres will has a problem that if the researchers or pet collections who are from America attempt to take bring some cane toads with the virus to their country. These cane toads might be seriously infect to the other animal's populations in America,even destory the local place's ecosystem,becuase in the America, the cone toad is a native animal and it is the vital part of the America ecosystem.otherwise, it will cause a seriously ecosystem disaster.

In conclusion, the point made in the lecture contracts with that is presented in the reading material.

猫和鸭 · 发表于 2012-8-18 03:05:04

谢谢晨依帮我改的这么细心哈。。我要好好消化消化。吼吼。。

超级无敌小鹤鹤 · 发表于 2012-8-18 09:45:06

8月15日独立作文修改
写得不错，没有什么错误，就有几处小细节可能没注意粗心了。
我主要写了一些建议，不只是针对这篇文章来讲，可能会对以后的其他作文也会有帮助的吧。
Hope it helps...

-- by 会员晨依Jacqueline (2012/8/18 2:09:11)

噗呲。。。o(*≧▽≦)ツ下载次数：3！！！

鲜花村的写作贴

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