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[作文互改] 有批评才有进步,豁出去了,新人第一篇Issue ,求路过的各位指教啊

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楼主
发表于 2012-7-26 17:15:58 | 只看该作者 回帖奖励 |倒序浏览 |阅读模式
issue2; to understand the most important characteristics of a society, one must study its major cities.
思路啊,句子结构啊,谢谢各位啦~~~






Understandingthe characteristic of one society is necessary to study its major cities, sincemajor cities play a preeminent role in the development of societies.

It could not doubt thatmajor cities are representative of one society. Major cities are the center ofculture, politics, and economy generally, where a great many intelligence andelite get together and they are typical in the social classes. Admittedly, Metropoliswhere economy thrives attracts artists and intellectual, for example, the 798 artisticzone located in Beijing receives young and vise person every year. Moreover,the political life of citizens in metropolis are more apparently presented, soit prone to study its political characteristics, taking the example ofRENASSIANCE Italy, where is the candle of democracy. Last but not least, theeconomic structure in metropolis always reflects the main important economiccharacteristic of its society generally, for major cities make a greatcontribution to the whole society, accounting for a large part in economic growth.
The characteristic ofsocieties include more than a major city contains. In the first place,different cities have different characteristics. In contrast to QiN HUANGDAO,Beijing is a city that more centers on politics while Shanghai is aninternational city and focuses on it transportation and navigation. Thus, onlytake major cities could neglect some characteristic of whole society. (最好举美国城市的例子). What’s more, it is an aphorism thatsummation of a person is more significant than his parts, which is parallel toa society. In philosophy, the whole has some characters not contained by parts.It is narrow angles to see parts as the whole.
Besides, People also canlearn some characters of societies through other ways such as films, dramas,books, videos and other media methods. For example, a lot of people learn aboutthe American lifestyle and spiritual form films produced in Hollywood. By thisavenue, foreigner also can know the characteristic of American society verywell. What’s more, by learning the development of a history about a country isalso a way to investigate the social characteristic. If we learned the purposeof American Revolution, it is not doubtful that amenrica is a society thatadvocates democracy.
.To sum up, studying themajor cities is a efficient and excellent avenue to learn a form and structureof society. However, it is not the only way to understand the characteristic ofsociety, given that the history of countries and the culture, someentertainment activities etc which could offer information about thecharacteristic of one society as well.
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沙发
发表于 2012-7-26 21:54:35 | 只看该作者
The characteristic ofsocieties include more than a major city contains???
这篇文章还是略显简单。
我谈谈我自己对这个题目的思路吧
1.承认主要的城市的代表性作用,主要的城市集中了一个社会最先进最前沿的一些东西,比如科技、文化艺术等
2.但一个社会的主要特点不是主要的城市所能完全代表的。一个多元化的社会,很多的习俗文化等等存在于传统的乡村和民族聚居区。
3.最后,随着现代化的进行,各个国家主要的城市渐渐地正在或者将要变成一个样子或者很相似,失去本民族国家特有的东西,这就很难代表一个社会的主要特点了。
板凳
发表于 2012-7-26 21:55:19 | 只看该作者
关于语言,没什么大的问题,关于论述,我觉得还有必要多多看看OG上的范文
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