晒作文求打分

daisy57 · 发表于 2011-10-13 17:01:13

大家督促我写作文啊啊
Do you agree that mordern technology has helped students learn more information and faster?

Most students would agree that they have benefited a lot for their study from mordern technology such as the Internet and in-time conmunication facilities. Not only did they make our work more dynamic and productful, they also extent our lives to a broader realm, where lies tremendous opportunities and dicoveries to be found.

In addition, mordern technology has made students to learn faster than ever. If you make an investigation among students, you will probably find out they have a consensus on how mordern techonology has improved their understanding of their subjects. With the help of Internet, they would soon get to know what's going on around them.

A student would lag behind if he doesn't have an access to mordern technoloy. Our world is changing erraticly, with everlasting revolution and reforms carried on in a large scope of industry and fields. Technology has one of the most influential role in these changes. It not only changed our life styles externally , but also changed internally the way we think and conceive this world.

There had been some doubt on whether the mordern technology have distracting affects that would harm students' studies. For example, abuse of Internet and electronoc devices may lead to addiction. These concerns are worthwhile, however, we cannot deny that there are plenty of students who can utilize the entertainment devices to help them diminish overloas stress. After all, if we make good use of mordern techonogy, we would find it help us learn both faster and better.

kiki070300123 · 发表于 2011-10-13 23:56:19

互相改一下吧，明天发给你
我也晒一晒，作文是短板啊
Why go to College?
There are thousands of reasons that why people choose college education. To conclude these reasons and summarize them is a big challenge. However after asking myself thousand times that why I choose the college rather than choose a easier job and get salary as soon as I graduated from high school. I get a more explicit answer and I will show you in the latter article.
?

eople choose college education to become more suitable for the work or job of society which called career preparation and they can get higher salary is one of the major goal. A good university is also a good manufacture that can produce the specific skills and mine the talent of students, give advise to students how to make better choice and dedicate their time evenly so that they can learn new skills quicker.
? To chase more knowledge and expand the horizon, change or reinforce their ideology as well. This is the most valuable part that a college can attribute to the students and definitely develop no matter physical or mental strengths and increase the amount of knowledge also.
? Self-accomplishment is also really important to students who choose college but not immediately take a job. The student who has great expectation to himself or herself will choose further education in university is based on the thinking that the investment which included 4 years time and lots of money will repay them with more profits. As a research, which is abstracted from famous magazine Economist, reported that the college graduates can earn almost 4 times than the high school graduates. If numbers can talk this words is so persuasive that explain the critical reason why people go to college.

kiki070300123 · 发表于 2011-10-14 00:06:29

modern这个单词作为keyword之一，出现了错误
另外productful很awkward, substitute for effective 会比较好
technology也是keyword拼写错误
electronic
erratically
这些细节要注意一下吧
说实在的，句式指导肯定不够水平，不过据我所知ibt对于词汇错误判得很严

daisy57 · 发表于 2011-10-31 23:54:02

KiKi你好, 说道托福作文我真是菜鸟一个, 不知道什么样的文章在ETS那里会打高分呢.. 也不好评你的了
你的第三段第一句话"To..."没有主语. 其它我也说不出什么
我词汇量还行, 结构就是G的结构.. 绕来绕去的 T的老师大概不喜欢吧..
没怎么学过,我去看10篇范文好了等水平够了再给你改吧..

daisy57 · 发表于 2011-10-31 23:59:08

当然我G的作文也很糟 ...

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