请问中介弄的这种简历能行吗？？恳请各位牛牛看看！（第二版发来啦）-->iammad转移

你认为哪里不行？

我不晓得这些经历是不是真的appealing to admission commitee呢？或许教授会认为我列举的这些我做过的事情不能表现出我在HRM领域的潜力呢？

我还有其他的一些经历，但是没有写在上面，是被中介认为不重要的，但是我心里还是觉得没底啊。

还有，我是商务英语方向的，学的课程很杂，我不确定到底应该写哪些上去。会计基础？宏观/围观经济学？还是小企业管理？还是什么都写呢？

什么都写的话，会不会给人以“所学太杂，术业无专攻”的印象？

Frankly, as a former HR professional, I don't see any appealing point in HR field,

看来你的工作经验都是上学时的，上学时能有这么多经验，已经相当可贵了^_^

LZ的文章似乎发到“商学院Master交流区”比较合适吧，个人认为有工作经验再去读的MBA和一出校门就可以直接去读的商科Master的resume的写法还是有差别的。

不过有几个小建议供LZ参考。

1） Monitor of the class.... 我总觉得这个Monitor比较别扭，有监视的感觉，不知道native speaker是怎么称呼班长的，但我觉得President of Class看起来顺眼一点，班总统嘛~~~~ ^_^

2） Communicated between Chinese and Alien employees。  Alien可以解释成外星人的说~~~~~  ^_^  是不是用foreign比较好？（不确定，请NN们指正）

3） Led a team of 6 people...  Led them to do what? Leading 6 persons to clean restroom is quite different from leading them to design spaceship...u'd better explain it a little bit

4)  Interests:  Internet....  You are interested in Internet. Who doesn't?

5)  You seem to have a lot of experiences. However, most of them seem to be trivial (no offense). To highlight the importance of ur exp., you'd better seperate the "Responsibility" and "Contribution", and work harder on the "Contribution" part. This structure will make ur resume much more clear, and shows adcom that u played an important role in the activity.

Just my 2 cents.

Take a look at

http://forum.chasedream.com/dispbbs.asp?boardID=13&ID=173361&page=1

13、简历 sample & tips

中国政府发的外国人就业证上写的是Alien Work Permit...一度成为我们的笑柄