[AWA模板] [原创] 用不少模板句子的5.5分，个人练习作文供参考

考完后发现，不少同学说现在对模板使用更为严厉，所以在作文分数出来前我很紧张，因为我套用了相当多模板句子。暗暗担心别评我3分，害我白考吧。

成绩出来是5.5分，所以我贴一下练习时写的完整文章，这样大家可以体会一下，到底模板句子使用到什么程度是可以的。我现场考试时写的字数略少、文字水平和这些都差不多。本来想所有练习文都上传的，但不知道为什么传不了。

红色：模板句，我事先准备好的，几乎每篇都这么写，偶有变化。

蓝色：常用句式，事先针对常见问题积累，现场灵活运用，但几乎每篇或每两篇都用得上。大家会发现，我几乎每篇argument都用到了什么mistakenly assumes, assumes without justification，consequently, as a result, such as 一堆它因列举，little information was provided，chances are great, are very likely to, is not necessarily, does not sufficiently justify 等句式。Issue也是如此。你会发现我用的模板句子还是很多的，但尽量不用完整、原封不动、放之四海而皆准的整句。

黑色：针对具体文章发挥的内容。

Argument 例文（一）

题目：The following appeared as part of a plan proposed by an executive of the Easy Credit Company to the president.

“The Easy Credit Company would gain an advantage over competing credit card services if we were to donate a portion of the proceeds from the use of our cards to a well-known environmental organization in exchange for the use of its symbol or logo on our card. Since a recent poll shows that a large percentage of the public is concerned about environmental issues, this policy would attract new customers, increase use among existing customers, and enable us to charge interest rates that are higher than the lowest ones available.

——————————————
        

470字，现场我有点紧张，可能比这个略短，大约400+。尽量留5分钟检查，我一般都查出五六个错误，这样比多写50-100字更好，我觉得。

In this argument, the author proposes that the Easy Credit Company should donate to a well-known environmental organization to establish the competitive edge over other credit companies based on a judgment that a large percentage of the public is concerned about environmental issues. By doing so,
            the author asserts, the company will be able to charge higher interest rate. The argument looks attractive at a first glance; however, careful reflections reveal that both the evidence and the line of reasoning are questionable in the following aspects.
        后来我把这最后一句的模板简化了，否则模板的痕迹太重，直接写成 However, both the evidence and the line of reasoning are questionable.

First of all,
            the author arbitrarily equalizes two different groups of people, namely, the public and the target customers of Easy Credit Company. Little information was provided about the profile of the people who participated in the “recent poll” mentioned by the author. Chances are greater that the participants have very limited overlap with the target customer segmentation. As we know, different people may hold different opinions for social issues. Although some of the people have been increasingly concerned and aware of environmental issues, some of them may not.
            Consequently,
            the fact that the participants care about the environmental issues does not sufficiently justify that Easy Credit Company can attract customers by supporting environment protection activities.

第一句总结；第二、三、四句引申，常用手法是正着说一遍（作者认为怎样）、让步一句（就算怎么样）、反着说一遍（事实上怎样）、举例说一遍（例如）；最后一句用Consequently, therefore或as a result小结一下。

Secondly,
            this argument rests on a doubtful assumption that customers are willing to pay for higher interest rates as long as the company donates to this environmental organization. Admittedly, many customers of the Easy Credit Company are likely to appreciate its support to such organization and to take into account this factor in their choices of credit card companies. However, common sense tells us,
            there are many other influential factors such as the quality of the service, the brand name and the public image. Among all these factors, interest rate cannot be ignored.
            Without fully understand customers’ priority of all these factors, Easy Credit will face the risks of losing customers that are price-sensitive.

More importantly,
            the argument assumes without justification that the donation will help establish a competitive edge in the market. The reality is that any competitor can easily copy the program if it is proven to be successful. As a result, the Easy Company will face the competition as fierce as what it faces now.

To summarize, I will be reluctant to take this proposal, as the author commits the above fallacies. Although I personally am very supportive to Easy Credit Company, I believe the author will have to at least investigate consumer needs through a more comprehensive and solid approach
            as well as come up with a solution that is more difficult for competitors to copy.

Argument 例文（二）

题目：The following is taken from an editorial in a local newspaper.

“Over the past decade, the price per pound of citrus fruit has increased substantially. Eleven years ago, Megamart charged 5 cents apiece for lemons, but today it commonly charges over 30 cents apiece. In only one of these last eleven years was the weather unfavorable for growing citrus crops. Evidently, then, citrus growers have been responsible for the excessive increase in the price of citrus fruit, and strict pricing regulations are needed to prevent them from continuing to inflate prices.”

————————————

430字

In this argument, the author proposed strict pricing regulations to encounter the problem of price inflation of citrus fruits. To reach this conclusion, the author cited as evidence for price inflation that the price of lemons in Megamart has increased substantially in the past 11 years. In addition, the author excluded the unfavorable whether conditions as a valid reason for price inflation and thus attributed the inflation to citrus growers, implying that the growers are overcharging unreasonably. However, both the evidence and the line of reasoning are questionable in the following aspects.

First of all,
            the judgment of price inflation of citrus fruits rests on an evidently hasty generalization of one type of product sold in one company. Little information was provided whether the lemon products in Megamart are representative for the category of citrus fruits. On one hand, chances are great that other products in citrus fruits category do not experience such increase in price at all; on the other hand, products in Megamart may not be representative for all the markets. Consequently, the regulation to avoid inflation is ungrounded without substantiating that the inflation does exist.

Second of all, the author mistakenly assumes that the weather conditions and growers’ overcharge are the only two possible reasons for price inflations in citrus fruits, even
            if we admit that the price inflation does exist. Common sense tells us that many other parties play important roles in price increase of fruit products, such as increasing rentals of stores to sell the fruits in the cities, and increasing transportation costs in the past years. Eliminating the poor whether conditions does not sufficiently lead to the conclusion that the growers are the fundamental causes behind the issues. Provided any of the above factors is valid,
            the proposal of price regulation that targets growers is not justified.

Last but not least,
            the argument improperly implies that growers are unreasonable to increase the price and thus should be regulated.  Admittedly,
            even if growers are truly responsible for the price inflation, they may have valid reasons to do so. For example, the increasing scarcity of land and water resources or the growing labor cost and taxes would force the growers to increase the price to sustain their businesses. In that case, the regulations on price may drive some growers out of the business and further inflate the prices.

In brief,
            I will be reluctant to take the proposal as the author commits the above fallacies. To improve the argument, he or she will have to at least
            validate the facts and reasons of price inflation as well as ensure the regulation is needed.

Issue 例文（一）

题目：“It is unrealistic to expect individual nations to make, independently, the sacrifices necessary to conserve energy. International leadership and worldwide cooperation are essential if we expect to protect the world’s energy resources for future generations.”

——————————————

Issue我用的模板句子相对较多，尤其是开头，废话连篇。我想这可能是我没有满分的原因之一。

绿色是我举的例子，尽量每篇都举1个长而略新颖的例子，另一段可能有一个简单的例子。适当积累一下。

500字。

What will be the effective and necessary approach to conserve the world’s energy resources for future generations? The issue at hand is a truly complex and controversial one.
            On one hand, as is well-known and has been advocated, the international leadership and cooperation is necessary; on the other hand, however,
            other people may insist that individual nations should make sacrifice independently as well. The author shows strong preference to the former opinion based on the understanding that it would be too challenging for individual nations to make such sacrifice. I strongly agree with the author by recognizing the much more impacts that the international leadership and worldwide cooperation can achieve than the individual countries do. The following discussion will help enrich and substantiate my point of view. 特别不喜欢自己的开头，大家慎用。

First of all, I believe that individual nations have limited capability in encountering the problem of energy resources. Although I do not have conclusive scientific evidence to show the gap between the capability required by conserving energy and the current capabilities of individual countries, ample anecdotal stories establish the existence of such gaps.
            Common sense tells us, conserving energy is a complex work that needs huge amount of financial, technical and social resources. For example, to save fossil energy by switching to nuclear or green energy such as solar and wind power, the individual country will need to not only invest in the equipment but also build the technical know-how. Under these circumstances, how can we expect many of the developing countries to afford all these efforts? Consequently, the international cooperation to provide these countries with necessary financial resources and technology embedded in equipment will be definitely important.

The second rationale for me to choose to support the author is that the international cooperation in battling with the depletion of energy will be much effective than each individual country will. A recent example can help illustrate this point. During the financial crisis, according to the media report, almost all the government of all countries have invested hugely in order to simulate the local economy to avoid significant recession. Meanwhile, a series of global conferences among international leadership were carried out to discuss the cooperative solution to address the issues faced by the world. Imagine each country works on its own without ensuring the consistency among their policies, sharing the lessons and experiences, or releasing defensive world trade treaties, each country’s effort is likely to generate conflicts rather than create synergy. Similarly, in the energy conservation case, another case under the background of globalization, the cooperation and sharing will benefit all parties and thus create much greater impact.

Admittedly, international leadership and cooperation are always difficult to achieve given each country has its own agenda and may act to its own interest at the cost of other countries. However, the effort is worthwhile in light of the necessity and the effectiveness. 我后来发现，如果想在第二、三段讲一个较好的例子，会来不及写个让步段；而最后一段往往太简短。因此，我不再写让步段，改为最后一段的一个句子，使得最后一段也不要太单薄。

To summarize, based on the above reasons, we may safely arrive in the conclusion that the approach of international leadership and cooperation is much more preferable.

Issue 例文（二）

550字

Who should be more responsible for preserving the natural environment? Each individual person or the government? The issue at hand is a complex and controversial one.
            Different people may have different perspectives due to their distinct backgrounds and personal experiences. On one hand, as is well-known and has been advocated, the government plays the most important role through regulations; on the other hand, some people may insist that every individual personal is ultimately responsible for preserving the natural environment in his or her daily life. The author shows clear preference to the latter opinion. However, I believe that government should take precedence over individual in terms of the ultimate responsibility of preserving the natural environment, based on the understanding that individuals have limited capabilities and incentives to encounter the environmental issues. The following discussion will enrich and substantiate my point of view.

真的很讨厌自己的第一段。而且我觉得第一段是开篇，阅卷的人一定看吐了，所以还要应当改变写法。

First of all, I believe that individuals lack of capabilities that are required to preserve the environment, instead, governments can mobile the resources for this effort. Nowadays, the environmental issues have been increasingly complex and severe. Common sense tells us, a lot of financial, technological and intellectual resources will be required to deal with all these issues. For example, the effort of switching fossil fuel to clean energy, such as wind, nuclear or solar power, will need huge amount of money for upfront investment and cutting-edge technology. Unless the government mobilizes all these resources to do so, individuals in the country can do very little.
            An example can help illustrate my point of view.
            In the rural areas China, many villages suffered from the huge pollution of burning traditional fuel. However, as long as individual farmers want to change the situation, they cannot afford the investment. China's government started to subsidize the switching to solar power system in these rural areas in late 1990. In the past 10 year, by providing low-interest loans and subsidies to farmers who were willing to switch, the government successfully motivated and enabled over 1000 villages to reduce the fuel usage significantly.
            In brief, the government is more effective in battling with environmental issues.

这和例文（一）同样讲环保，有些理由是可以通用的。

Another rationale for me to choose my stance is that individuals may lack of sufficient incentives to take efforts for preserving the natural environment. Admittedly, environmental issues have been more and more important to everyone in the society. A lot of people have been increasingly concerned and aware of the issues. However, according to the experts in China, many people are not willing to trade off the long-term benefit of environment preservation with the short-term convenience. For example, a great percentage of people still drive large cars that are less fuel-sufficient, just because a large car makes them feel good. Under such circumstances, it is much more efficient for the government to advocate and regulate people' behavior through policies and legislations. Government, by nature, must take into account the best interest of majority of the society and must be less short-sighted. Therefore, I believe the government should take the responsibility by educating and regulating people.

Admittedly, individuals may also play an important role in preserving the natural environment. The more people are aware of the environmental issues, the more people are likely to change their behaviors. While, based on the above-mentioned reasons, we may safely arrive in the conclusion that government should be more responsible than individuals are.

Issue 例文（三）

题目：“It is difficult for people to achieve professional success without sacrificing important aspects of a fulfilling personal life.”

————————————————

550字

Is it possible for people to achieve professional success without sacrificing important aspects of a fulfilling personal life? The issue at hand is a complex and controversial one.
            On one hand, as is well known and has been widely advocated, people can hardly maintain a balance between their personal lives and professional ones; on the other hand, many people may insist that there are inspirational role models who have been successfully keeping a well-balanced life between work and personal things. However, although I observed many cases of such successful professionals who do not seem to sacrifice much of their Personal life, I strongly believe that most of the people will have to achieve the success in career at the cost of personal life. The following discussion will enrich and substantiate my point of view.

First of all, professional success is usually based on persistent efforts, leading to less quality time spent on personal lives. Although we do not have a scientific definition on the aspects of a fulfilling personal life, we may generally agree that the fulfilling personal life includes important factors such as family, friends and personal interests. Maintaining a high quality personal life will necessarily require to spend significant time on these factors: accompanying your parents, spouses and children, hanging out with your friends or spending time on your personal dreams such as traveling around the world or simply fishing on weekends. However, common sense tells us that most of the professional success requires people to devote extra-effort. Remember, Edison said that "genius is 99% of hard working with 1% of inspiration". Given everyone only has 24 hours a day, the more spend on work, the less you spend on personal lives. 我一般开篇第一句话和最后一句话都会收一收，尽量不要让人觉得跑题，因为中间写时可能来不及想太多。

The second rationale for me to choose my stance is that professional success will sometimes lead to disturbance to personal lives. For some very successful people, their personal lives and professional lives have been integrated to such a degree that they will almost never have no personal lives. Ample anecdotal evidences can help illustrate the point.
            Does the President of United States or even candidates for the President of United States have their personal lives? No! The information of every little thing about their families, education, friends, hobbies or even tastes of dressing are publicly available. People discuss, mock or even humiliate them on those things. Sometimes, their innocent children cannot avoid the disturbance. Their personal lives are the building blocks of their personality and thus the building blocks of their professional lives. Well, the example of the President is probably too extreme. You may argue that many less successful people are able to keep their privacy much better. I agree. However, most successful people are influential in a particular world such as a company, an industry or a community. As public figures in their own "world", they have little privacy, which will inevitably disturb their personal lives. 一般开篇第一句话和最后一句话都会收一收，尽量不要让人觉得跑题，因为中间写时可能来不及想太多。

To summarize, based on the above-mentioned rationales, we may safely arrive in the conclusion that people can hardly achieve a successful professional life without sacrificing the personal life. Admittedly, successful careers benefit our personal lives a lot. Money, reputation and the feeling of personal fulfillment can help us live a better personal lives. However, people will have to win all these at the cost of some other important factors of personal lives.

it's very nice of you!!