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[issue] ISSUE17-----求批求改(第一篇)

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楼主
发表于 2012-10-4 20:22:17 | 只看该作者 回帖奖励 |倒序浏览 |阅读模式
  In the statement above, a question is purposed concerning the purpose of education. Would it be to free the mind and the spirit or restrain them?  The speaker claims that the formal education is now restraining them. In my perspective, the viewpoint is not objective enough thus render it unconvincing.

   Admittedly, the stiff education system is now having a bad influence on the development of the students. All the students are required to take some actually unnecessary course which have taken up much time and energy. This restriction is surly impeding development of the creative minds for it offered limited flexibity to adjust to different minds.Driven by the pressure to get to good universities, the education is now nurturing identical qualified people rather than creative individuals. Considering this, we cannot anticipate the education to be of significant help to free minds and spirits.

   However, it is equally unfair to deny to beneficial role formal education play in the cultivating creative students. Even genius would need a systematic knowledge to support their creative work,let alone most ordinary students. Without geting to know the basic ideas of universe and solid background of math, how could Newton ever be possible to create the gravitation thoery. Additionally, in certain occasions, education can also instead serves a way to emancipate mind and encourage creative thinking. At young age, we believe in fair tales and understand the world in a naive way. After getting more education, we learn the idea to exploring the truth of the world through experimenting and consulting wisdom of great mind rather than merely receipting thus helping us to think independently and rationally.

Based on these analysis, I feel that the statement is not persuasive. Although nurturing genius do require a distinct mode, it doesn't indicates that most students would benefit from formal education. In fact, formal education is still the most effective way for students to enhance the overall understanding of the world, minds and spirits. A systematic education guarantee most students can have a solid background of science, literature etc. Those are all critical for them to free their minds and spirits. Besides, development of the creative mind can be ascribe to various factors. Education is just one important aspect.

In conclusion, although the influence of formal education on the mind of students is still debatable, I believe that proper improvement of teaching method could be of help to free their minds and spirits and education would play a better role in this process.

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沙发
发表于 2012-10-4 23:18:37 | 只看该作者
理论分析过多,缺少足够的具体的分析,例子在这种抽象的论述中还是很有必要的。
板凳
发表于 2012-10-4 23:20:52 | 只看该作者
有几处小语法错误,in the cultivating students?
地板
 楼主| 发表于 2012-10-5 10:45:46 | 只看该作者
谢谢!  我下篇多加入例证 ,论述是否合乎要求啊?
5#
发表于 2012-10-5 22:55:50 | 只看该作者
嗯,继续加油就好
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