这能算 leadership和teamwork吗

大家帮我看看，这能算leadership 和team work 吗，谢谢。

7.  Describe an experience of your leadership.
   Once my colleagues traveled to Zhangjiajie, a beautiful mountain area. We were all in a big bus. The bus had to run zip-zap road to the terminate place.I rained that day when our bus ran to an edge to a moutain valley, the right front wheel suddently slipped to edge of the valley, 30% of the wheel was in the air. The driver pumped the brake to stop the bus. People was dumbfounded for a minute and then cried.who had expeience so before? some people sitting in the right seats of the bus shouted in panic. some ladies even began to move to the left. The whole bus was in a chaos and it is highly possible for the bus to fall into the valley.
     At this critical moment, I calmed down and shouted:" Don't panic, don't move, otherwise we will all lose our lives here". i sat in the rear part of right side. I shouted to the driver, asking him firmly hold the brakes and simultaneouly asked the young guy sitting in the left to break the left windown with the hammer handed by the driver and then people in the left froze, people in the front right of the bus hot out from the window one by one. At this moment, people became very cooperative, maybe for the sake of their own lives"  The whole people in the bus got out just in five minutes. When the driver last jumped out from the bus, the bus wholly turned over and fell into the valley.

8.  Describe an experience of teamwork.
  I would like to centrate on one aspect of teamwork: tolerance and cooperation
  Once, in analysing marketing enterprises consumers in wto affairs, a colleage exposed an opposite view to my business plan. It was obvious that his view was not convincing. But when I argued with him with convincing evidence several times, he still persist in his argument. At last, I decided to compromise a little bit.
  I put forward another business plan in accordance with his views but prepared a backup compensating plan. Several days after his business plan was implemented, the negative effect became obvious. One month later, the colleage recognized his mistake and approve of my original business plan and then we quickly put our backup compensation plan into effect to avoid big loss.

I think the contents are ok, though you need to elaborate a little bit on the concrete measures you took.

but you made a lot of typos.

personal opinions here:

1. 最好用工作（如工作过）或学习时的例子。leadship是可以通过决策能力，说服能力和组织能力等表现出来的。这点不错。但内容不太好。

2. 第二个例子不该表现自己的缺点，不该用patience这类的词，不positive, 而且没有表现出自己做了什么。only等待对方认识自己的错误太。。。。想想看teamwork有很多例子。参加过会议吗？有过什么任务要共同完成的？其中你做了什么？应该有很多例子。

3.不用描述太多细节，像第一个例子。interview你的人会晕的。说说大致情况即可和你做了什么，有什么结果（如有数字则更好）－－这才最重要。

希望有所帮助。