sallygreen的T作文文 before 0825

sallygreen

加入作文互改小组拉拉啊，拿下作文！！

sallygreen

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
In the past young people are more depended on their parents in making decision. Today, young people are better able to make decisions in their own lives.
字数：673w  时间：1h 10mins

No one can deny that young people in modern society are more mature than peer in the past, considering myriads of convenience brought from the development of science and technology. So, whether young people become increasingly independent is under controversy. I totally agree with the title statement that compared the 15-18 year-old living decades ago, nowadays, these young boys and girls are prone to make decision based on their own ideas and thoughts in most circumstances.

Undeniably, these years, more and more young people can go on to higher education with acquiring more knowledge by comparison with early times. In the past, when people usually possess low education level or even have none, parents’ experiences and thoughts are the whole source for judging. Thus, parents’ perspectives exert deep influence upon young people, causing that the young’s decisions hinge on their parents overmuch. Today, however, through high education, young people will form their own sense of life, world and value, leading that when in face of difficulties or divergence, young people in this era would rather make up their own faith.

Needless to say, it is easier to get various kinds of information in modern society, since the popularization of media, which will assist young people to get more objective materials to assist them to make decision. This is a total “plat” world, through multi-media, billions of data can be obtained every time and everywhere. From the new scientific discovery to the war in the Middle East, from the economic crisis happened in Europe to the World Cup held in South Africa, things happened in every corner of the world can be known worldwide in no minute through the Internet. So, what young people are supposed to do before they make a point is just search. From this angle, how can we say young people living in this kind of situation are increasingly dependent? In addition, in this era of rapid social and technological changes contributing to increasing life complexity and psychological displacement, the good decision in parents’ time would be out of date.

Some people, admittedly, may as well say that young people’s dependent occurs whenever in the last century or nowadays taking into account that their age, their incomplete thoughts or their angle of starting thinking while confronting a problem. Yet, modern parents have realized from within and without that young people should be more self-planning. On one hand, more and more women have their own job, and they have no time to take care of their children as much as before. They would not decide every trivial stuff for young people. On the other hand, more and more parents have realized a fact that though young people’s thoughts are not perfect and logical, that does not mean their parents have right to let them pass life as parents’ blue script. And children in that age tend to produce rebel psychology, which might cause reverse results if parents force them that much.

In addition, the extent to which changes of young people depending on parents over time is not identical in different country. In developed country, parents already focused on independent education from an early age, so that young people there possess high sense of independent all the time. While, in developing country, like my country—China, parents in 1950s made decision for their children. Parents at that age always kept misunderstanding to something and discrimination to some career, such as a singer. Never would parents allow their children to develop to be a singer in that age. Yet, today is changing.

In retrospect, considering our society being developing by leaps and bounds, parents’ function on making decision for their children have been weaken. Young people have received higher education, had access to acquire more information through media, and their parents have transferred their notion. In spite, parents are the first teacher for children, and they will, more or less, influence young people’s decision, however, the final decider will be young people themselves while parents just play a role to offer suggestions.

额，这次写的字叔无敌多了，时间也无情的超了。，。麻烦给我改的童鞋了！！

sallygreen

昨天昨天的：8.17 independent::

School always collect information of the teaching performance of teachers and according to it, give teacher who has efficient teaching rewards.
So which is more useful: evaluation by students or by other teachers?
Time: 1h30mins
W: 额， 791w

As the level of employees in a company can, to large extent, reflect the height the company  will achieve, the standard of teachers in a school also decide the rank the school locates. Accordingly, a suitable assessment system will be indispensable and play an essential role to supervise the performance of a teacher. Based on this, so, who should form a team to evaluate teachers, students or other teachers? I would rather to achieve a complete assessment from both if possible, but considering the limitation of time, cost and energy, I cannot agree more the point that students will be the best judger.

Undeniably, teacher’s work is to deliver knowledge to students. Whether they did a good job or just make a teaching process perfunctorily, students are those who know teachers best. Compared to the other teachers, firstly, students spend longer with their teachers. During the class, students can attention the whole methods of teaching of a certain teacher. In extracurricular time, through asking for help about some problems, not only can student know the teacher’s knowledge level, but they can notice whether the teacher is responsible for students or just deal with his/her single teaching job in class, which is not the meaning of true education. Taking one of my high school teachers, Mr. Lee as an instance, no one will deny that he really does a good job inside classroom—he always prepares a particular subject material and learning case for every class. However, every time when students go to his office for asking for extensive questions, either he will refuse or has not ability to answer them. How can students give him a high score based on that? Moreover, different communication content formed among teachers or between students and teachers also determines the necessary of evaluation from students. Under most circumstances, the communication in teachers is just some trivial topics or colleague chats, which cannot be regarded as an important part to assess a teacher.

Besides, the evaluation from students will be more objective than that from other teachers, considering the potential relationship between them. Obviously, the relevance between students and teachers is more pure—teaching and being taught simply say, while among teachers, just as employees in a company, is totally complicated. In more cases, clique may as well be formed and intense competitive relationship will exert a decisive influence when evaluating. It cannot be eliminated that if a teacher is competing a professor position with another teacher, he definitely will score that teacher as low as possible, yet this kind of situation is ill-persuasive and can demonstrate nothing except that the two teachers is under a competitive relationship. Let me make this point deeper. The competitive relationship is mutual, which leads that another teacher also will evaluate his/her opponent subjectively. The result is that the assessment forms from the two teachers are invalid. Worse, the most important thing is that we do not know the specific relationship in the teacher network. Therefore, marking among teachers will be subjective, infeasible and unreliable.  

Some people, admittedly, could refute that students might produce unjust appraise to teachers when the teachers’ teaching method is unpalatable for himself/herself. I concede that this kind of situation is in all probability, after all, it cannot be evitable in consideration of various characteristics and habits from different students. However, it is popularization of teaching method of a teacher that should be treated as a vital part of assessing. Based on the huge amount of students, if teacher has an applicable and popular method to most students, it is impossible that his score from students is low. In contrast, an under-average remark just can illustrate his poor teaching horizon. In addition, it seems that students will easily get influence or be credulous to others’ suggestion. From my point of view, in comparison with these among teachers, this condition will occur in an extremely low probability and the colossal amount of students will readily rectify that from statistics angle.

Another thing I will suggest to consider is that the age of students. Namely, different level school should adopt different measures to conduct this assessment job. Primary school, where students just the children during their 6 – 13 years old, had better let teachers assistant students to finish remarks. Yet, in university or college, it will be a taboo if teachers are ongoing any interference in the whole process of remarking.

In retrospection, since the communication between students and teachers is more valid regarding to evaluating the education level of a teacher, students’ assessment is more objective and the colossal quantity of students will avoid statistics error, I strongly hold the opinion that a teacher’s performance which is concerned about efficient teaching rewards should be finished by students.


额，原来我是个话唠。。，。又多了。。麻烦咯！！
lyslj001童鞋，要不要来这篇啊？哈哈。，。

sallygreen

lyslj001 发表于 2013-8-18 01:01
oh yeah~  求sallygreen姐姐改作文哪~ 我明天也帮你改哈

改完啦！！

sallygreen

lijinglol 发表于 2013-8-18 13:07
八……八百字……
我慢慢看起……不过尽量按考试模式来吧……毕竟学会放弃自己的语句和意图也是作家很重 ...

咦咦~你的作文呢?

sallygreen

xiaxiaya 发表于 2013-8-19 19:26
No one can deny that young people in modern society are more mature than peer（学习一个换词） in t ...

xiaxiaya真有效率！！ 你说的都很在点上呢，有些用法确实不太准确，我会改正滴~！！
关于最后一段啊~我是想扩展一下，想说不同地方change的程度不太一样，toefl写这样的一段行么~不太确定哎

sallygreen

8.19 independent

Doyou agree or disagree with the following statement?In order to succeed, youshould be more like others than be different from everyone else.

Time: 45mins
Words; 503 w

“Not be the second who, but be the first you” they say. Success, atopic started from human civilization arose, stirs up myriad of controversy,whether is regarding to the concept of define that or the method to achievethat. I prone to stand in the oppose side with the title statement that aperson in pursuit of success is supposed to do as others do rather than do as himself.

Undeniably, to the start with, being unique is an essential quality onthe way to success, after all, there is no the second Einstein in the world. Alwaysdoing behind others, a person will be accustomed to follow someone else, histhoughts, his behavior, or even his habits. No wonder that imitating asuccessful person, if ignoring the element of intelligence acquired from god, wecould achieve the same height through endeavor. However, is that allegedsuccess? I hold the different view. Granted that the person copying others maywell achieve goal to simulate, but do others admit this kind of “success”?There is an old Chinese saying going “If two men ride on a horse, one must ridebehind”. Taking a company as an example, a boss will not hire two identicalemployees who possess the same skills, ideas, and power in one certainposition. Hence, distinguishing from others is paramount for a person tosucceed.

Subsequently, it is of great significance that a personbehaves following his heart, which is also conductive to make a hit. When itcomes to interests and hobbies, particularly referring to success hinging onthat, nobody will deny that it will be a tremendous felicity. Needless to say,obviously, the easiness rises as interests conform to success, considering the boundlessenergy and motivation accompanied with fondness. To make it clear, forinstance, one of my friend, Brain, who is keen on basketball considerably. Inspite of his innate condition does not preponderate regardless of his height,his endurance and his strength, yet, holding on his zealotry to basketball,ultimately, he becomes one member of city team. By contrast, in order tosucceed, going behind of others without thinking about own dream and love, oneeither losses his way further in this tinsel world or becomes an unhappy winner,which I do not think it is the true success.

Someone would like to assert that only by following otherswill one have a helm in life navigation, for the sake of all-encompassedsociety and various temptations. Admittedly, being more like others will sound easierto succeed, however, how to imitate others and what is the extent to resemblethem should be taking into account. Plus, as we all know, opportunity andchance also exert a rival effect on success although we have already made thesame efforts as others do. In this sense, going behind others definitely is anunwise decision.

On account of the above-mentioned reasons, I still giveprior favor to point that a person, in terms of true success, should followhis/her heart instead of others’ traces.

sallygreen

lyslj001 发表于 2013-8-20 22:10
送上修改~ 一起努力！

么么哒～点的真到位，我一直找不到问题所在，００１一下有点醒很多哎～　我自己在好好想一下绕来绕去这个问题

sallygreen

8.20的综合：

The reading and the lecture both discusssalvage loggings, a way to deal with remains caused by forest fires and severestorms. The reading passage gives credence to three theories as likelyexplanation of legitimation to take this measure. The lecture, however, pointsout the inaccuracies in each these theories, directly challenging the readingpassage.

First and foremost, the professor contradictsthe issue of removing the remains of dead tree as soon as possible for the sakeof make space for growth of new trees. He says that, the decomposition of thesedead trees will nutrient the soil, furthermore be beneficial for nextgeneration of tree. The reading, however, declares that through salvagelogging, the forest might recover as before as the increasing number of newtrees appear.

It is mentioned in the passage that pests are fondof decay woods, leading that keeping these wood stay at forest will attract suchinsects, which, with no doubt, will exert a detrimental influence on othertrees then threat the health of the whole forest. But the professor demursabout this idea. According to him, these decaying woods not only can bringharmful insects but also birds and other insects. He points out that theseanimals, indeed play a vital role for the health of forests. In the long term,compared to these possible harmful insects, salvage logging may take moredisadvantages.

The issue of goodness from conducting salvagelogging regarding to economic benefits does not please the professor either.The professor acknowledges the this kind of natural catastrophe do provideextra resource such as wood, but also points out that the amount of wood providedis small. As he says, the transfer is in need of helicopters, which definitelycost much. Moreover, job positions offered by salvage logging usually open toworkers outside with more job experience and training.

In conclusion, the reading strongly believesthat salvage logging benefits a lot for local community; however, the professorreveals the flaws and provides his own proofs of this very fact.

sallygreen

8.20独立：　
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
It is better to relax by watching a movie or reading a book than doing physical exercise.

People in these days are more concerned about balance between job and relaxation, causing heatedly controversy in which whether people should do inside relaxation or take physical exercise to relax himself/herself comprehensively. Obviously, with the popularization of modern media, such as computer, increasing number of people feel it convenient that see a film or read a book. Yet, I totally stand that physical exercise, a kind of original relaxation way will preponderate in terms of the effectiveness and efficient of getting out of chaos stuffs.

I cannot help to imagining these two scenes where a person is reading a book sitting on a chair in front of a desk, and another person is jogging around a garden full of grasses and flowers with sport shirt. Frankly, enjoyable as people’s brains while swimming in the ocean of book, their nerve, undeniably locates in the state of tension. Otherwise, people will obtain nothing from the book. Siting on the chair and using brain is considerably not a leisure way to enjoy the life. However, when it comes to physical practice, such as playing tennis with friends, jogging, climbing, and what not, it really makes a point to throw oneself into a total releasing state after keeping one-whole-day stiff body in front of computer with watching screen.

The easiness degree to which relaxation can be achieved is regarded as an essential element of taking options. Benefits the fast development of science and technology brings to us, obviously, include of changes of pattern to spare leisure time. Computer and internet is such productions from technology revolution. With those, it is convenient to watch a movie inside room without moving out. I concede that people do get much fun from that, for the sake of interesting scenes, conversation between characteristics or just familiar stuffs appearing in the screen. However, it is this sedentary that exert a detrimental effect on people’s health, especially for this office workers. One of my friends, who work as a programmer, is a hundred-percent computer fan. Two third of his time is spent in front of computer whether work or watch a movie while eating. It is not a bit exaggerated that his life has already tie to computer except sleeping time. The result is that he is getting fatter and fatter until he had to see a doctor when obesity disturbs his daily life. So, the thing people can achieve easily may not be the best.

In addition, people who devote themselves to physical exercise can be closer to nature, needed by human as a member of creature family. In most cases, people feel that lying with doing nothing is the best way to have a rest, yet, one of doctor said that the most effective method to truly relax is stay in the nature, and that is why someone still feels tired after almost one-day sleep, let alone reading a book or watching a movie. Some people may demur that physical exercise will exhaust one’s energy, leading to a more tired status. However, the happiness from playing with friends, the pleasure from touching nature, and deep sleeping after exhaustion is unparalleled. Merits will overweight the demerits if taking this way.

Finally, I will emphasize my viewpoint that doing physical exercise is a good way to relax oneself after a busy job. It is myriad of pleasure from physical exercise that pale the necessity of other measures, such as reading books and watching movies.