ForTheAC的作文贴____An article a day keeps the low grade away

sclovexj

ForTheAC 发表于 2014-10-1 17:26
9.30 政府该不该支持没实用价值的科学研究

Scientific research helps us better understand the origin o ...

我写完我的，来改你的哈

daisy333

ForTheAC 发表于 2014-10-1 13:56
Thx！改的很仔细，也让我复习了一些语法
1. abandon oneself应该是可以，详见http://www.merriam-webster. ...

1.get
2.我印象中作文中是要的
3.按gmat平行原则来看应该是要加to哈
4.这个好像是可以省略哈，我搞不太清所以一般都不敢省略 > <

sclovexj

ForTheAC 发表于 2014-10-1 17:26
9.30 政府该不该支持没实用价值的科学研究

Scientific research helps us better understand the origin o ...

我的在下面链接，
http://forum.chasedream.com/thread-920172-1-1.html

ForTheAC

10.1  综合 TPO27
唉，一限时就不造怎么遣词造句了
The reading passage provides three possible explanations for the Little Ice Age. But the professor thinks that these explanations are little out of date and full of fallacies.

First, the theory coming first in the passage supposes that the Little Ice Age was caused by disrupting of ocean currents. The professor points out that this is not convincing since the disrupting of ocean currents only take place in Europe and North America. However, the locations where this event did not happen, namely New Zealand and South Africa, also experienced the Little Ice Age. Therefore, this theory fails to explain the reason why the Little Ice Age also exists in these places.

Then, the second explanation in the passage takes volcanic eruption as the cause of the Little Ice Age, because volcanic eruption could generate clouds of dust which would block sunlight. However, the professor thinks that this reasoning also does not make sense. He puts up that such large scale of clouds of dust would produce visual effects like colorful sunsets, but in fact, no records of special views are found in historical material, hence this explanation is also not tenable.

At last, the passage gives a theory that deems decrease in human populations as the main factor of the cooling of climate. The theory reasons that the trees would not be cut down for agriculture if population had decreased, thus the trees would absorb much carbon dioxide, which always plays an important role in greenhouse effect. But the professor provides evidence that the population at that time grew back again and the trees also started to be cut down. On the basis of this fact, the period was not long enough to cause the Little Ice Age.

ForTheAC

10.2 这个社会的规则对于除年轻人以外的人来说太严格了
The invention of legislation is a great step in human society. It is strict rules that guarantee the safety, the stability and the well-being of our society. It is strict rules that have made indelible contributions to the stable development of this world in history. I must hold my stance that rules can never be too strict for the whole societies.

It is self-evident that rules serve as a good standard of judgement. To maintain the equality of this society, we can not solely rely on human’s opinion. People coming from different backgrounds can often be obstinate to hold different respective, thus rule is required to reconcile their views and help make right decision. We can imagine what happened at the ancient age when human lived without rules. They fought with each other to gain the control of resources such as food and water. They could only solve conflicts in a violent way which always led to blooding. In the contrast, today’s society owns a robust system of laws such as food law, labor law and education bill. Owing to these laws, when we have conflict with others, we do not need to take violence as last resort, whereas the rules in them can make indifferent judgement for us and diminish the friction in a civil way. For example, one of my friends got sick shortly after he had dinner in a restaurant. He decided to consult the food safety department and take food safety law as weapon in order to protect his right. After that, he received the compensation from the restaurant, which certainly should have observed the rule in the food safety law.

Rule is also significant to the effective and robust operation of social groups. With the assistance of rule, people in the group are forced to take their responsibility for their work. Take sports team as example, Spark and Lance are two new basketball teams in my hometown. Spark is a team which attaches importance to the freedom of the player. It allows the players to make decision by themselves, even if they decide not to participate in training. On the contrast, Lance carries out a lot of disciplines which make sure that their team members join training on time and obey the commands of the coach. In the past season, Spark was totally disorganized and lost a lot of games. However, the players in Lance were hard-working and obeyed the rules in the team. As a result, Lance defeated its rivals by the aid of its team spirit and perfect cooperation, which eventually helped them win the champion.

Granted, rules are usually strict and devoid of affections, thus it is hard for people to follow and obey them. And people’s feeling also makes sense in the decision making process. However, it is not equal to say that our society should grant its member complete freedom. The rules in our society are heritages of our ancestors, and they play most important role in the operation of this society. It is obligatory for people to make their own feeling subsidiary to social rules. That is the guarantee of the sustainable development of human society.

As it stands, we can safely arrive at the conclusion that everyone should follow the strict rule in our society. For one respective, social rules function as criteria of judgement which ensure the equality of the decision. For another, social rules make great contributions to ameliorating operation of social groups. Hence I strongly believe that social rules are necessities for human however strict they are.

唉，感觉第一个中间段写着写着就走远了。。
原来不是第一段走远了啊= =整个文章都跑偏了！！！

chasedreamabc

修改晚了，万分抱歉

ForTheAC

10.3 最好的交友方式，加入校运队？参加社团活动？旅游？
Networking is of great significance for students’ career. A truly suitable way for students to make friends should be both comfortable and effective. From my point of view, compared to sports team and travel, community activities seem to be a better choice for making friends.

It is self-evident that community activities provide more opportunities than others, since people who participate in community activities always come from different backgrounds. Therefore, by joining community activities, students have chance to meet with various people who all have their own special experiences. Making friends with such a wide range of people can help students acquire more insight about our society and touch more opportunities for career. Take myself as an example, when I just came into the university, I applied to become a member of the student union. The student union organized many activities and often invited people from other schools and famous companies. Owing to these activities, I caught the chance to make acquaintance with leader in the industry, and as a result, I earned my first internship in a first-class company.

Community activities also serve as a good way for students to practice social skills. It is clear that community is a special category of social group, thus by participating in community activities students can learn many pragmatical social skills that will benefit them in the future. I still remember my experience about making presentation when I was a member of Google club. In Google club, students were required to complete an innovative project every semester, and after that we still needed to make presentation to sell our idea. Convincing others of the bright future of my project was a tough task, which led me to take everyone’s interests into consideration. What was more difficult is to find a satisfying way to present the most impressive features to my audiences. However, it was these obstacles that enhanced my presentation ability, which proves to be very significant in my personal development.

Admittedly, travelling and joining sports team are helpful alternatives to strengthen social networking. However, it is obvious that they both have some disadvantages which students should be discreet to consider. Whether a student can enjoy his life in a sports team heavily depends on his enthusiasm in this sports game, which always takes a lot of time for training. On the other hand, students need to spend a lot of expense on travelling if they prefer this choice. Compared to these two selections, community activity is not only efficient but cost-effective, and it has countless positive effects on the students.

From what has been mentioned above, we can safely draw the conclusion that community activity functions as a better choice for students to make friends.

ForTheAC

10.3 综合 TPO25
The professor argues that the reasons cited by the article is not convincing. In addition, she strongly feels that the vessels could be used as electric batteries.

To begin with, the passage reasons that the vessels cannot be used as batteries since none of conductors were found near the vessels. However, the professor thinks that this reason is not sound. As a matter of fact, not archaeologists but local people found the vessels, and they were quite likely to overlook or throw away some important evidence, because they did not have the ability to recognize these historical remains.

On the other hand, the passage provides evidence that the cylinders found with the jars have the same shape with copper cylinders from Seleucia, which were used for holding scrolls. Therefore, it is highly possible that the cylinders found in Iraq also served as the same function. But the professor points out that it also makes sense that the vessels were adapted to serve as batteries afterwards, even though they worked to hold scroll at first.

At last, the lack of pragmatical usage is cited by the article as another reason.  On the contrast, the professor says that the mild shock caused by battery could be harnessed by some people to convince others of their invisible power. Furthermore, batteries have function of healing by stimulating muscle, thus the passage cannot rule out the possibility that the ancient people also found this surprising faculty of the vessel.

loverony713

ForTheAC 发表于 2014-10-3 15:26
10.2 这个社会的规则对于除年轻人以外的人来说太严格了
The invention of legislation is a great step in  ...

The invention of legislation is a great step in human society. It is strict rules that guarantee the safety, the stability and the well-being of our society. It is strict rules that have made indelible contributions to the stable development of this world in history. I must hold my stance that rules can never be too strict for the whole societies.（我知道从这里就开始跑题了....）

It is self-evident that rules serve as a good standard of judgement. To maintain the equality of this society, we can not solely rely on human’s opinion. People coming from（觉得有点别扭 直接用from比较好吧） different backgrounds can often be obstinate（顽固的；倔强的 你想表达的不是这个意思吧） to hold different respective, thus rule is required to reconcile their views（感觉说的有点绝对 无伤大雅） and help make right decision. We can imagine what happened at the ancient age when human lived without rules. They fought with each other to gain the control of resources such as food and water.（这是原始人类吧。。） They could only solve conflicts in a violent way which always led to blooding（感觉用词不太对。。injury？）. In the contrast, today’s society owns a robust system of laws such as food law, labor law and education bill. Owing to these laws, when we have conflict with others, we do not need to take violence as last resort, whereas the rules in them can make（rules不能主动做事吧） indifferent judgement for us and diminish the friction in a civil way. For example, one of my friends got sick shortly after he had dinner in a restaurant. He decided to consult the food safety department and take food safety law as weapon in order to protect his right. After that, he received the compensation from the restaurant, which certainly should have observed the rule in the food safety law.（例子不是很扣题 没法和你的论点结合起来 也就是前一句话）

Rule is also significant to the effective and robust operation of social groups.（乍一看没太懂） With the assistance of rule, people in the group are forced to take their responsibility for their work. （说的有点让人费解）Take sports team as example, Spark and Lance are two new basketball teams in my hometown. Spark is a team which attaches importance to the freedom of the player. It allows the players to make decision by themselves, even if they decide not to participate in training. On the contrast, Lance carries out a lot of disciplines which make sure that their team members join training on time and obey the commands of the coach. In the past season, Spark was totally disorganized and lost a lot of games. However, the players in Lance were hard-working and obeyed the rules in the team. As a result, Lance defeated its rivals by the aid of its team spirit and perfect cooperation, which eventually helped them win the champion. 你得具体说rules的内容 以及如何遵循的 这些细节是你应该多说的。还有 球队的rules顶多是规章制度吧，球员遵循的应该是教练的方法不是么。这和rules还不太一样。

Granted, rules are usually strict and devoid of affections, thus it is hard for people to follow and obey them（这个点本身就不太好，你自己难道有这个感受么？要是没有的话 最好不要写 写你最有感触的地方）. And people’s feeling also makes sense in the decision making process. However, it is not equal to say that our society should grant its member complete freedom（rules的相对面不是这个吧 你这个反驳有些无力。。而且一般人也不会这么想）. The rules in our society are heritages of our ancestors, and they play most important role in the operation of this society. It is obligatory for people to make their own feeling subsidiary to social rules. That is the guarantee of the sustainable development of human society.

先不说跑题内容，段内论述不够有力，缺少细节。构思方面需要加强。

As it stands, we can safely arrive at the conclusion that everyone should follow the strict rule in our society. For one respective, social rules function as criteria of judgement which ensure the equality of the decision. For another, social rules make great contributions to ameliorating operation of social groups. Hence I strongly believe that social rules are necessities for human however strict they are.

loverony713

ForTheAC 发表于 2014-10-4 18:15
10.3 综合 TPO25
The professor argues that the reasons cited by the article is not convincing. In add ...

10.3 最好的交友方式，加入校运队？参加社团活动？旅游？
Networking（n. 计算机网络的设计） is of great significance for students’ career. A truly suitable way for students to make friends should be both comfortable and effective（不太好）. From my point of view, compared to sports team and travel, community activities seem to be a better choice for making friends.

It is self-evident that community activities provide more opportunities than others（what最好说明白）, since people who participate in community activities always come from different backgrounds. （为啥 我还说旅游更加能认识形形色色的人呢）Therefore, by joining community activities, students have chance to meet with various people who all have their own special experiences. Making friends with such a wide range of people can help students acquire more insight（acquire？） about our society and touch more opportunities （touch？）for career. Take myself as an example, when I just came into the university, I applied to become a member of the student union. The student union organized many activities and often invited people from other schools and famous companies. Owing to these activities, I caught the chance to make acquaintance with leader in the industry, and as a result, I earned my first internship in a first-class company.
亲 你知道community activities到底是什么么？？？最好写出和其他两个活动的对比。例子写的太简单 不是写流水账 要写细节啊！

Community activities also serve as a good way for students to practice social skills. It is clear that community is a special category of social group, thus by participating in community activities students can learn many pragmatical（adj. 实用主义的？？） social skills that will benefit them in the future. I still remember my experience about making presentation when I was a member of Google club. In Google club, students were required to complete an innovative project every semester, and after that we still needed to make presentation to sell our idea. Convincing others of the bright future of my project was a tough task, which led me to take everyone’s interests into consideration. What was more difficult is to find a satisfying way to present the most impressive features to my audiences. However, it was these obstacles that enhanced my presentation ability, which proves to be very significant in my personal development.
社区服务亲。。。不是club。。。还有 你的social skills体现在哪里。跑题。

Admittedly, travelling and joining sports team are helpful alternatives to strengthen social networking. However, it is obvious that they both have some disadvantages which students should be discreet to consider. Whether a student can enjoy his life in a sports team heavily depends on his enthusiasm in this sports game, which always takes a lot of time for training.（不符合正常思维 热情本身就不用train） On the other hand, students need to spend a lot of expense on travelling if they prefer this choice. Compared to these two selections, community activity is not only efficient but cost-effective, and it has countless positive effects on the students. 反驳至少得根据social network 跑题。

From what has been mentioned above, we can safely draw the conclusion that community activity functions as a better choice for students to make friends.