angla 姐姐的作文楼

angla

9.7日综合

The reading passage states that the number of birds is likely to continue declining as the result of three facts. The professor rejects these three facts to prove that the statement of the passage is unconvincing.

First, the professor point out that although the human population and settlement expand and the nature habitats, such as forest, grassland,wetland decrease,the habits for some kinds of birds increase.some kind of bird dwelling in city can find more food,such as pigeons and rodents.the result is that some population of birds shrink, but other grow. It is not necessarily to give a story of uniform decline.

Secondly,the professor admits that the agriculture truly decrease the habitats of bird,but it is not so soon as reading passage assumed and it is not correct to project this story to the future .the truth is that less and less land is used for agriculture in the United States.because more productive crops is introduces,the corp yields per unit increase.it is no need to destroy the wild area in the future.

Finally,the professor indicates that the prediction in the reading passage is incorrect,prediction that the chemical pesticides will decrease the population of birds and this trend will continue.she uses two facts to strengthen her opinion. First is that more and more new less toxic pesticides are developed, and second is that there is  a grow trend to develop pest resistant crops,which is genetic designed and don’t harm to birds at all.

angla

9月7日  独立


Nowadays, There are many study materials in the market provided to students .More and more professional training organization emerge.students can study through many other channels than school and teacher. However, even this trend is continuing, It is unconvincing to conclude that teacher are appreciated and valued not as much as they were before.

As the economic development, people’s lives improve significantly. People are more urge to acquire knowledge. An increasing number of people expect to receive education and the role of the teacher is valued gradually. In my hometown , there were only several teachers in a whole town decades ago, because many people choose to work as quickly as possible, many people end their study after junior high school.but now, nearly 60% student will attend university. Meanwhile, the number of teacher is many times than that is before. Promotion the nationality’s hope is education, promotion education hope in teachers.

Furthermore, the paycheck of the teacher has been increasing dramatically. many years ago, teacher is not a career with good economic return. There is one proverb to describe this job with humor as “can not starve, but also is not enough to eat”. However, this situation has changed in recent years. The government advocates to promote the education of the country, and strive to reform the Compensation System of teachers. This reformation guarantee that outstanding talents have interests to stay in teacher’s position.the quality of teachers determines the quality of students, while the quality of graduated students determines the the competitiveness power of this country in the international competition. The whole country pays more appreciation and values to teachers.

Aside from those facts mentioned above. There are also many indicators to prove that teacher are  more appreciated than they are before. For instance, they have more training chances and more promotion in their work. There are more media publicity materials to promote their professional image. All of these changes can confirm that teachers are more appreciated and valued than they were before.

daisy333

angla 发表于 2014-9-8 14:06
9.7日综合

The reading passage states that the number of birds is likely to continue declining as th ...

angla姐姐 我发现我的tpo18综合和你的不一样！我的是为了改善某种树的减少提出的三种建议。你这篇我没有做到过诶

angla

daisy333 发表于 2014-9-8 17:35
angla姐姐 我发现我的tpo18综合和你的不一样！我的是为了改善某种树的减少提出的三种建议。你这篇我没有 ...

题里面说的是TPO17啊，这是7号的作业

今晚才8号作业分组。。。。

daisy333

angla 发表于 2014-9-8 17:52
题里面说的是TPO17啊，这是7号的作业

今晚才8号作业分组。。。。

噢漏。。。我看错了 我马上去听tpo17

daisy333

The reading passage states that the number of birds is likely to continue declining as the result of three facts. The professor rejects these three facts to prove that the statement of the passage is unconvincing.

First, the professor points out that although the human populations and settlements expand and the nature habitats, such as forest, grassland,wetland decrease,the habits for some kinds of birds increase, some kinds of bird dwelling in city can find more food, such as pigeons and rodents.(这一段信息点听反了，是另两种鸟prey on pigeons and rodents。虽然这个信息我都没听到TAT)the result is that some population of birds shrink, but other grow. It is not necessarily to give a story of uniform decline.

Secondly,the professor admits that the agriculture truly decrease the habitats of bird,but it is not so soon as reading passage assumed and it is not correct to project this story to the future .the truth is that less and less land is used for agriculture in the United States.because more productive crops is introduced, the corp yields per unit increase.it is no need to destroy the wild area in the future.

Finally,the professor indicates that the prediction in the reading passage is incorrect,prediction that the chemical pesticides will decrease the population of birds and this trend will continue.（这一句是做宾语补足语吗？放在之前的prediction后确实会显得头重脚轻，但不知道这种用法的正误，以前没看过，求angla指教！）she uses two facts to strengthen her opinion. First is that more and more new less toxic pesticides are developed, and second is that there is  a grow trend to develop pest resistant crops,which is genetic designed and don’t harm to birds at all.

信息点很完整，表达也很流畅。小问题就是一些三单 复数什么的

angla

daisy333 发表于 2014-9-8 22:37
The reading passage states that the number of birds is likely to continue declining as the result of ...

冏。。。。。。。。谁改我作文都说这个问题。。。。。。。哎哟。。。。咋就改不掉呢

daisy333

angla 发表于 2014-9-8 22:52
冏。。。。。。。。谁改我作文都说这个问题。。。。。。。哎哟。。。。咋就改不掉呢 ...

我自己也是。。。。。。最好的办法应该是快点写完，争取多点时间出来给自己检查

chasedreamabc

daisy333 发表于 2014-9-8 22:37
The reading passage states that the number of birds is likely to continue declining as the result of ...

这个同位语用法就是为了避免头重脚轻才用的。正常语序是  the professor indicates that the prediction in the passage that the chemical pesticides will decrease the population of birds and this trend will continue is incorrect

这样表达才totally头重脚轻。语法没问题。GMAT的高级语法。就是大部分人都读着觉得费劲。。。但是因为逻辑的层次太多了，所以才用的这种表达。。。

loverony713

angla 发表于 2014-9-8 17:13
9月7日  独立

9月7日  独立 Nowadays, There are many study materials in the market provided to students .More and more(太土了 用increasingly都比这个好) professional training organizationS emerge.students can study through many other channels than school and teacher. However, even this trend is continuing, It is unconvincing to conclude that teacher are appreciated and valued not as much as they were before. As the economic development(赶紧换了 develop by leaps and bounds), people’s lives improve significantly. People are more urge to acquire knowledge. An increasing number of people expect to receive education and the role of the teacher is valued gradually.(紫色这句话是重点 应该放在最前面当主题句) In my hometown , there were only several teachers in a whole town decades ago, because many people choose(时态) to work as quickly as possible, many people end their study after junior high school.but now, nearly 60% student will attend university. Meanwhile, the number of teacher is many times(好虚...) than that is(number is ?不对吧- -) before. Promotion the nationality’s hope is education, promotion education hope in teachers.(这句话真心没明白什么意思..) （这一段没有明确写明白为什么老师比以前更加受重视了 你的论点是人们更加热爱学习了 但是论述中没有细节表明 学生的态度变化。单纯的老师的数量变多了 不能说明这一点） Furthermore, the paycheck of the teacher has been increasing dramatically. many years ago, teacher is not a career with good economic return. There is one proverb to describe this job with humor as “can not starve, but also is not enough to eat”. However, this situation has changed in recent years. The government advocates to promote the education of the country, and strive to reform the Compensation System of teachers. This reformation guaranteeS that outstanding talents have interests to stay in teacher’s position.the quality of teachers(老师的质量?怎么有点别扭- - 感觉quality是指物理状态 应该说教学质量？) determines the quality of students, while the quality of graduated students determines the the competitiveness power(有点重复?竞争力的力量?) of this country in the international competition. The whole country pays more appreciation and values(感觉意思表达不对..搭配不太恰当 直接说国家更注重教育) to teachers. （而且结尾应该和教师工资（remuneration）联系起来吧..... 因为你的主题句是教师薪资增加了 要不显得不够扣题） Aside from those facts mentioned above.(这是半句话啊亲！) There are also many indicators to prove that teacher are  more appreciated than they are before. （恕我直言 几乎没用 只是重复 或者变化一下句型吸引眼球）For instance, they have more training chances and more promotion in their work. There are more media publicity materials（不晓得这样用对不对） to promote their professional image. All of these changes can confirm that teachers are more appreciated and valued than they were before. （我觉得可以分别给你说的factors举个例子...或者再多想几个factor 思路挺好）