daisy的写作楼

橙圆

么么~改好~

daisy333

橙圆 发表于 2014-8-17 17:18
么么~改好~

么么 谢谢橙子~

daisy333

修改810
独立Modern society has become more complex,so it is essential for the young people to have the ability to plan and organize.

As the rapid development of economic and technology, people nowadays get involved in a more complex society, which includes explosive information, intertwined social relationship and multitasks. Compared to the ancient people who have little accesses to the outer world, people today, especially young people, are facing the world more directly and also communicating with others frequently. Under this circumstance, I believe, like so many successful CEOs do, planning and organizing abilities will help young people to fit in the modern society.

First of all, ability to plan and organize can save people's time and energy to digest a lot more information. Facing thousands pieces of news and messages swarm into our mailboxes and mobile phones everyday, will we be drown into the information ocean and waste great of time in it?  At this time, the ability to organize and classify the information enables us to focus on the real significant information and to obtain valid information efficiently. An uncle of mine is a HR in a multinational company. He emphasizes the ability to organize the information of employees, because he thinks that a well-organized employee can achieve more workload during the same time and that the ability to save time and energy are valuable to a company. That is to say, the ability to plan and organize is also an edge for young people to compete in modern companies.

Secondly, modern society that always put young people in a multitask environment requires young people to be well-planned and well-organized. People in modern society have more social roles. An employee in a company may also be a student in nearby college. Not like ancient people who just need to hunt and feed themselves, young people nowadays have to study in various field or work for live at the same time to adapt to complex modern society. People under such pressure will be put in a chao and in hurry condition except that he or she have rational plans in advance. A partner in our group, for example, is working at the ETS organization while she is also a student in college and is preparing an exam at the same time. She not only finished her job very well at the work but also achieved the tasks for her exam preparation everyday. At first I thought that nobody can accomplishes this kind of multitask, then after I read about her everyday plan, everything makes sense. She makes rational and detailed plan everyday, which lists every task and the time that every task should takes. What she does everyday is follow the plan and check the task one by one. Plan makes multitask organized and easy to be done.

Last but not least, when facing complex relationship network, young people nowadays have to plan their time to meet different people and organize their network to make the most use of their relationship. Social networking become more and more essential for young people, and the more people we link, the more good opportunity we gain . For instance, almost every website of first-level college in the United State has a catalog called alumni, who had finished their study and started new career life. Because statistical data that record the future career development of students showed that more than 80 percent of student found their first job via the introduction of their alumni. So, plan to contact alumni and obtain valuable information can be a big step for every young people.

When taking into account all the reasons I mentioned above, we can firmly believed the conclusion that in this complex society, planning and organizing skills are primary to young people.

橙圆

我是一只勤奋的编辑橙

daisy333

818 独立Although a lot of people know the environmental situation (such as global warming etc), the present situation is unlikely to change in the future.

As more and more people have to breathe polluted air or bear extreme weather condition, environmental deterioration has drawn more and more people's attention and worries. Advertisements concerned about environmental protection have emerged on TV or publicity board. Although negative voice says people's awareness won't change the present environment situation, other people, including me, held the belief that as more and more people recognize environmental crisis, environment situation will definitely change.

Firstly, awarenesses decide behaviors. Once people learn about present unpleasant environmental situation, they will do some subtle but meaningful things, such as stoping running water and keeping air conditioner off as far as possible, to ameliorate our environmental condition. Take my father as an example. After he watched a documentary about global warming, he never turns on air conditioner under 35 celsius and also forbids me to do that. And every little changes do will make differences for our environment.

What is more important is that a lot of people knowing about our environmental situation urge government to make regulations for protecting environment. As a responsible government, meeting most of citizens interests is primary duty. In my hometown, there was a factory producing paper, thus pouring a lot of pollution water into our mother river. When citizens recognized that the river was too contaminated to maintain daily need, they pushed the government to shut down the paper-producing factory. And once after shutting down the factory, the condition of the river becomes better. So, people's awarenesses push government to make a change, thus changing the environmental situation.

Last but not least, the process of improving environmental condition caused by people's awarenesses is not fast, but time is the best medicine. We should be patient and faithful to believe changes do happen and the future environment will be better. In 19th century, United Kingdom suffered from serious environmental problem- smog and haze. However, after decades of years, in present UK, blue and clear sky shows everyday. People's awarenesses and government's regulation undoubtedly are main reasons for the this great environmental improvement. Changes just take time.

Owing to all reasons mentioned above, we can safely make a conclusion that people's awarenesses concerned about present environmental situation will make the environmental condition different in the future. What we need is more patience and faith.

在火车上写的，之前写的那篇还莫名其妙不见了TAT 错误肯定很多 先在这跪谢等叔费心了！

MrWaiting

8.18改，见附件，daisy有时间看看吧

daisy333

橙圆 发表于 2014-8-18 21:33
我是一只勤奋的编辑橙

感谢勤劳的橙子 注意身体~

daisy333

MrWaiting 发表于 2014-8-19 13:42
8.18改，见附件，daisy有时间看看吧

谢谢等叔！改的好详细

daisy333

修改 815独立
Modern agriculture method damage the environment, but providing food for the growing population around the world is more important than protecting the environment.

When it comes to modern agriculture method, some people held the views that it damages the environment in some degree, so it should not be supported. However, others, including me, argue that modern agriculture method could not be replaced because maintaining growing population is way more important than protecting the environment.

Food is essential for human beings to live. And we must admit that modern agriculture provides us a more efficient way to produce food. In some part of the world, such as some countries in Africa, does not use modern agriculture method to produce food, and thousands of people died of hunger. So if we abandon modern agriculture to protect environment, a number of people may suffer from starvation, which is a really bad signal for human development. Imagine that when people died of hunger, who cares about environment?

Moreover, compared to environment, food has more direct influence to people. Everybody needs to eat everyday, but the environmental damage that caused by modern agriculture method is too subtle to influence people’s life. Modern agriculture may causes the soil lose nutrition and takes place the area where were used to plant trees. But the history of human development shows the pattern how human being survives and develops. Only when we ensure the food supply for people, could we stop reclaiming soil for agriculture and protect environment. We should make food as a priority.

Sacrificing food supply to protect our environment is just putting the cart before the house. And we do have many other methods to protect environment. Reducing car uses is an alternative example. When I travel to York, a city of England, I saw model bikes in different colors were put on the both sides of road to encourage people to ride bikes instead of to drive cars. With less car uses, we can breathe more clear air without abandoning modern agriculture method. Modern agriculture method and environment protection are not mutually exclusively alternatives that cannot be exist at the same time.

Protecting environment is significant, but we should use modern agriculture method that supplies enough food for growing population all over the world first to ensure that there are full and energetic people to protect environment.


Maintain a family
Died of 死于
三单形式注意
Nutrition不可数
(only when 开头主句倒装， could we stop..)

daisy333

816修改 政府应该在医疗保障还是环境治理上花费更多精力

There is a widespread debate about which should government spend more energy and money on-medical care or environmental conservation. Considering limited energy and budget that government has, some of our citizens hope that our government to attribute more to the medical care system, which is not very mature at the present. However, from a long-term perspective, others, including me, place environmental conservation in advance position for following reasons.

Admittedly, medical care is urgently needed because people are getting more and more vulnerable against diseases and some rarely diseases have emerged. But with the advanced development of medical technology and method, why there are still the same amount of or even more patients in the hospital waiting to be cured? Because environmental deterioration. Environmental deterioration, such as air pollution, makes people more easily to develop diseases, such as cardiopulmonary. A famous professor in Fudan University, for example, died of cancer. In her late life, she recalled that the environment she lived were seriously air polluted. And her doctor said that air pollution around the place she lives is one of the major causes of cancer. So, just spending more energy or giving financial support on medical care is not enough. Concentrating on environmental improvement is the radical way for government to improve people’s life quality. Otherwise, the need of medical care will like a black hole, sucking endless energy and money.


Moreover, environmental conservation influences wider range of people. A certain amount of money and time spent on environmental improvement may affect whole community people via improve their living environment. However, the same amount of money and time used for improving medical care system may only change a minority of people’s life. As everyone is born equal, government should do more things about the whole community instead of about several patients. This is the same principle as Parents always consider each single child’s requirement only after they have met all children’s need.

Both medical care improvement and environmental conservation are essential for our people. But owing to the reasons I mentioned above, concentrating more on the environmental conservation is a wiser choice for our government.

表达不是特别顺畅，用词不恰当，中式表达比较多