Sigrid的作文楼

小蘑菇开始打怪

TPO 9 revised by mushroom
sorry for being late

Both the writer and the professor focus on the topic, if(换成wether会更好） hydrogen-based fuel-cell engines are much better than ordinary fuel engines. In the writing, the hydrogen-based cell fuel has been described as easily available, environmental friendly and economically competitive. The professor, however, claims that all such assumptions are incorrect.

As opposing to the writer's idea that because hydrogen resources are plentiful, the fuel-cell engines are easily to obtain as well, the professor states that hydrogen can not directly be used in the form of water, and pure liquid hydrogen is technologically difficult to produce. Citing the instance that the hydrogen must be kept in a very cold environment, he advances his argument that hydrogen power is not easy to get.

The professor continues to discredit the writing's assertion that it will solve the pollution problem, by stating the fact that producing pure hydrogen would creates a lot of pollution.（这里的理由我认为表述为hydrogen actually has nothing to do with the decline of pollution更好，下面再描述为什么pollution没有减少，因为一增一减相抵消。但是如果原因一上来就是单方面增加污染，万一减少的污染比增加的多呢？） Further, he points out that man has to burn coal and oil to produce pure hydrogen and that will cause severe air pollution.  （这段例子的描述可以再添加一些，比如虽然汽车的污染可以减少，但是生产hydrogen过程中产生的污染又弥补了减少，总的来说还是没有减少污染）

It is the professor's third argument that hydrogen-based fuel cell is not economical, which contradicts the view of the writer that it is more efficient than the normal fuel. The professor explains that, it is because a rare and expensive metal named platinum has to be used to produce the engines. That makes the production of hydrogen-based fuel cell very costly.

In a summary, all the above-mentioned reasons of the recture illustrate that the professor disagree with the points mentioned in the reading passage.（summary可要可不要）

总结：
1、每个论点听得都不错，总结的地方再切中一些。
2、每个论点后支持的论据字数太少啦，我认为至少应该是1：2的比例这样，因为本来第一句论据就是类似套模版的东西了，后面论据再不多描述一些，怕是会有一些生硬和机械。
3、在每段论点写得足够多的情况下，可以不需要summary~
4、字数可以写得再多一些。

sigrid_shan

小蘑菇开始打怪 发表于 2014-8-24 15:46
TPO 9 revised by mushroom
sorry for being late

谢谢小蘑菇~~~~~~

sigrid_shan

0823 城市里还是农村更适合 take care of family?

To live in the city, or to live in the countryside, that is the question. In order to take better care of their families, some people choose staying in the countryside with no hesitation, because of the fresh air and idyllic pastoral scene. However,the others believe living in the city benefits everyone in a family. Given the following reasons, I stand for the latter opinion that city is a better place for settling.

First of all, growing up in a city is beneficial to children in different ways. It goes without saying that children will receive a better education in cities, since schools in cities hire more experienced teachers and own more advanced equipments. Fo rexample, city born and city bred, when I was in senior high school, I could do chemical experiments and have music class every week but my cousin who studied in a rural area had no such opportunities because not much money was spent on education facilities in the countryside. Furthermore, children in big cities are more open-minded and have more chances to broaden their horizon, as there are more libraries, museums and exhibitions to visit.

Moreover, livingin the city is a security of taking care of the old in the family, because the hospitals in the city provide patents with better treatment. My grandmother was used to living in the countryside and refused to come to the big city, but her sickness changed her mind. Two years ago, she got cerebral thrombosis when she stayed at home and my aunt found it out within several hours. Then my grandmother was sent to the biggest hospital in the city and treated by the best doctor. Nevertheless, if grandmother lived in the city, she would have been sent to the hospital faster and cured earlier and my parents regretted that they did not persuade her moved in the city.

The last reason why living in the city is better than living in the countryside is that the whole family can live a high quality of life. People earn more in the city and have variety of choice for goods. There are always excellent shows or operas inthe city center, so it will never be a bad idea to gather the whole family in a weekend evening to go to the theater. My parents, for instance, sometimes take me to the cinema or bring me to have a big meal. I know that all of these can occur only when we live in the city.

When taking into account all the reasons I have numerated above, I would arrive at the conclusion that the choice of living in the city outweighs choosing living in the countryside as every family member could be taken good care of and all people can get what they want.

橙圆

么么~~~~

sigrid_shan

0825   Should we always state our honest opinions, even though most people do not agree with you?


We are told for thousands of times that silence is gold, especially when you are face with disagreement of the majority. That means we’d better keep silent and hide our honest opinions when most people do not hold the same ones. However, given the following reasons, I would like to be one of those who stand for the opposite view that expressing our true ideas is meaningful and worthwhile to do.

One condition of telling the honest opinion is that we are holding the truth. The history has proved that insisting on right opinions and protecting one’s believe can change our living world in a good way. Deng Xiaoping, for example, is a role model of getting rid of criticism and dissent and lead China to a modern and industrial nation. His theories about reforms and openness as well as socialist market economy are totally against the mind of other conservative leaders such as Chen Yun, but he persisted in his way and finally made the quality of living for Chinese people several times better than before. Bill Gates is the second person I want to refer to as a good example of sticking to his own idea. When he started his own business, committing himself to promote personal computers, many people regard him as a fantast. Nevertheless, he succeeded not only as the richest man ranked at the top of the Forbes list of the world’s wealthiest people, but as the best-known entrepreneurs of the personal computer revolution. All his recognition and wealth come from his unique opinion.

There can be another condition that our different opinions come out to be wrong, but we do not need to worry about it, as we live in a world with much tolerance and also a lot can be learned during others correcting our thoughts. My friend Lola, for instance, is a brave girl who is never to shy to say her opinions in our class. Sometimes she has pretty inspiring speak or ideas, and sometimes her ideas are not correct or logically false. She does not stop expressing herself after a mistake but learns hard from it and tries to find out why she was incorrect. Nobody laughs at her because of her behavior and the teachers even praise her courage. At the end of the semester, she gets the best grades on her paper and all of us know that she deserves it, since she has learned much from her mistakes.

To sum up, no matter whether our opinions are correct or incorrect, we should state them honestly, even though most of others hold the opposite ones, not only because we can learn from them, but also because we will never know, that the advanced ideas of us may change our living world to a great extend.

sigrid_shan

橙圆 发表于 2014-8-26 14:37
么么~~~~

被抓到没好好学习了，呜呜呜，么么大

sigrid_shan

0908 Teachers were more appreciated and valued by the society in the past than they are now. （嗷...................................突然发现写成0907的题目了............那就将错就错吧= =）

In my memory, people spared no effort of praising teachers. In China， teachers were always compared with candles, which burn themselves in order to illuminate others. Also, they said that teachers to students are like gardeners to plants in the gardens, as only with good teachers can we grow up healthily. However, in my point of view, teachers nowadays are less appreciated and valued than they were in the past, because of the following reasons.

First of all, in the past, teachers represented the minority who were not only noble-hearted, but also erudite, but today, for us, teachers are more ordinary people who have just known something ahead of us. For instance, in Song density, the great Chinese scholar Cheng Yi showed high respect to his teacher, because the teacher was of noble character and high prestige. Cheng respected the teacher so much that when he was told that his teacher was taking a nap, he voluntarily stood outside the house regardless the heavy snow in case stepping into the room would bother his teacher. Such stories will never happen in the modern society, as almost everyone can be a teacher in some extent, and maybe teachers have neither more knowledge nor more moral character than ordinary individuals. My cousin speaks better English than my high school English teacher does, and the scandals and news about abusing children by teachers in China ruin the image of the teachers as well. Without outstanding ability and moral character, how could teachers enjoy the same respect and support as they did before?

Moreover, the development of high technology and the advance of new learning approaches weaken the impact of common teachers greatly. In the age of Confucius, for example, students had few books to refer to and little literal knowledge to learn, so they listened to their teachers carefully and even took notes for the daily talk between teachers and students. Nevertheless, students have a great number of choices when they decide to learn today. Confronting problems, they can turn to Internet for help and if they are lucky enough, they may get an answer from the expert in that area. Furthermore, the new booming Internet courses such as coursera and Udacity have changed our learning habitat to a great extent, and make the roles of teachers in real life less significant, as man can have the lessons taught by the professors from the most famous universities and discuss with students all around the world. All the changes I mentioned above predict the fading of the traditional teaching, as well as the weakening of traditional teachers.

In summary, I do agree with the opinion that the teachers were more appreciated and valued by the society in the past, as the importance of traditional teachers is lessening due to the new studying patterns and the teachers as a whole are less knowledgeable and moral than they were in the past.

daisy333

好爱看sigrid写的作文啊！！！好流畅，例子又超级贴切，不管句型还是词汇都好洋气！

sigrid_shan

daisy333 发表于 2014-9-8 23:04
好爱看sigrid写的作文啊！！！好流畅，例子又超级贴切，不管句型还是词汇都好洋气！ ...

说的我脸红成猴屁股了.................

mygirlzini

亲,今天晚班得上班去了,我的写作贴和你的修改明儿一定回复~~~哎哟 真是不好意思