CD 写作小分队训练营--一雪作文23分耻

DearBug

7月12日综合

哎，感觉怎么练还是写不好。没点进步。听力听不好，就完全写不粗来了。有个植物名字写不出。哎。
明天开始独立吧。感觉综合，真是没感觉。桑心。

The reading passage is mainly about the survival of edmontosaur during the wintertime which is totally dark. The speech explores the same issue. According to the passage, there are three reasons in support of the explanation that edmontosaur survived the winter by migrating south to more hospitable regions; the professor, however, points to the inaccuracies in each of these reasons.

At the very beginning, even though the reading passage indicate that edmontosaur had to migrate from dark North Slope to other place to find food, the professor argues in the lecture that the edmontosaur did not have to find food on other place.This is because 100million years ago, the summer was wamer than today and sunshine was at the peak of summer during whole 24 hours which rendered a good growing condition for plant and left many nutritious food for edmontosaur. Therefore, edmontosaur can have dead nutritious plant for edmontosaur to feed during winter.

In addition, the reading explains that since fossils revealed that edmontosaur lived in herd and many modern animals which lives in herd as well have behavior of migration , edmontosaur had behavior of migration, is also rejected by the professor. He declares that animals that live in herd have other reasons and not all animals live in herd does not migrate to other place. Then he support his point with the fact that some animals live in herd in order to protect themselves from predictors and some of them also live in the same area in whole years. For example, a large plant-eater live in herd does not migrate.

Finally, regarding the physically capable of migrating long distances, the professor contends that for juvenile edmontosaurs ,they were not capable of migrating so far and would slow down the speed of whole edmontosaurs’ migration to destination. Plus, adult edmontosaurs would not leave their juvenile children behind them, so it is impossible for them to migrate during the winter instead of trying to survival in the North Slope in the winter.

DearBug

7月12日综合

哎，感觉怎么练还是写不好。没点进步。听力听不好，就完全写不粗来了。有个植物名字写不出。哎。
明天开始独立吧。感觉综合，真是没感觉。桑心。

The reading passage is mainly about the survival of edmontosaur during the wintertime which is totally dark. The speech explores the same issue. According to the passage, there are three reasons in support of the explanation that edmontosaur survived the winter by migrating south to more hospitable regions; the professor, however, points to the inaccuracies in each of these reasons.

At the very beginning, even though the reading passage indicate that edmontosaur had to migrate from dark North Slope to other place to find food, the professor argues in the lecture that the edmontosaur did not have to find food on other place.This is because 100million years ago, the summer was wamer than today and sunshine was at the peak of summer during whole 24 hours which rendered a good growing condition for plant and left many nutritious food for edmontosaur. Therefore, edmontosaur can have dead nutritious plant for edmontosaur to feed during winter.

In addition, the reading explains that since fossils revealed that edmontosaur lived in herd and many modern animals which lives in herd as well have behavior of migration , edmontosaur had behavior of migration, is also rejected by the professor. He declares that animals that live in herd have other reasons and not all animals live in herd does not migrate to other place. Then he support his point with the fact that some animals live in herd in order to protect themselves from predictors and some of them also live in the same area in whole years. For example, a large plant-eater live in herd does not migrate.

Finally, regarding the physically capable of migrating long distances, the professor contends that for juvenile edmontosaurs ,they were not capable of migrating so far and would slow down the speed of whole edmontosaurs’ migration to destination. Plus, adult edmontosaurs would not leave their juvenile children behind them, so it is impossible for them to migrate during the winter instead of trying to survival in the North Slope in the winter.

jiajy930809

请修改好哦！

The reading passage is mainly about the survival of edmontosaur during the wintertime which is totally dark. The speech explores（好！） the same issue. According to the passage, there are three reasons in support of the explanation that edmontosaur survived the winter by migrating south to more hospitable regions; the professor, however, points to the inaccuracies in each of these reasons.

At the very beginning, even though the reading passage indicate that edmontosaur had to migrate from dark North Slope to other place（places） to find food, the professor argues in the lecture that the edmontosaur did not have to find food on other place.This is because 100million years ago, the summer was wamer than today and sunshine was at the peak of summer during whole 24 hours which rendered a good growing condition for plant and left many nutritious food for edmontosaur. Therefore, edmontosaur can have dead nutritious plant for edmontosaur to feed during winter.

In addition, the reading explains that since fossils revealed that edmontosaur lived in herd and many modern animals which lives in herd as well have behavior of migration（感觉改成migrate as well 更加简单明了一些） , edmontosaur had behavior of migration, is also rejected by the professor. He declares that animals that live in herd have other reasons and not all animals live in herd does not migrate to other place. （我觉得这句话意思说反了，应该是并非所有in herd 的动物都迁移吧）Then he support his point with the fact that some animals live in herd in order to protect themselves from predictors（predators） and some of them also live in the same area in whole years. For example, a large plant-eater live in herd does not migrate.

Finally, regarding the physically capable of migrating long distances, the professor contends that for juvenile edmontosaurs ,they were not capable of（这个短语这句话用过了，看看能不能同义词替换一下吧） migrating so far and would slow down the speed of whole edmontosaurs’ migration to destination. Plus, adult edmontosaurs would not leave their juvenile children behind them, so it is impossible for them to migrate during the winter instead of trying to survival（survive） in the North Slope in the winter.

主谓单复数错误还是有，感觉楼主听的挺全的吖~~~ 还是多注意语法错误吧！

DearBug

jiajy930809 发表于 2014-7-13 13:33
请修改好哦！

The reading passage is mainly about the survival of edmontosaur during the wintertime  ...

谢谢你。语法很烂。继续加油。你的待会发给你。

sweetyecho

DearBug 发表于 2014-7-12 17:20
谢谢你。好认真。我语法挺差劲的。然后很多语法错误，句式表达也不怎么会。以前都是自己乱写，然后不怎么 ...

不好意思，才看见回复～我个人不太喜欢模版痕迹重的作文。如果能自然的用一些复杂句式，当然是非常好的。