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OG模拟3综合作文,求互改,求指正,求共同提高!快考试了、、、

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发表于 2013-10-17 21:48:56 | 只看该作者 回帖奖励 |倒序浏览 |阅读模式
The reading and the writing passages have a conflict of the opinion about whether the painting known as Portrait of an Elderly Woman in a White Bonnet is painted by Rembrandt himself or not. The reading passage oulines that it is not Rembrandt's work for three reasons, which is contradicted by the following lecture.
Firstly, the reading passage claims that there is a inconsistency about the woman's dress and her collar, which is a mistake Rembrandt will never made. She was wearing a white linen cap seems like a servant and a expensive fur collar. [这两句的内容感觉重复了但是不知道怎么综合。。。]
The professor disaproves the reading by stating that the collar was added by another person one centery after Rembrandt first drew the picture in order to make the painting seems[错了 more magnificent.
Secondly, th reading passge points out that the shadow and light of this picture is not as excellent as his other paintings. 这里是不是表达的很不清晰,让人不理解呢。。。]

However, the speaker holds the opposite opinion and argues that that is also the result of the other people's adding behavior. Due to the original painting which was recovered recently, the color of the woman's cloth was used to be white.And that's the reason why there is light to illuminate on her face.

Finally, the reading passage believes that according to the back of the pictrue, the painting was painted on a kind of wood Rembrandt had never used in his other paintings. The speaker believes that it is not the case because the original picture can demonstrate that the it was painted on the wood board which made from the same tree with which Rembrandt used in another famous painting. [这一段写的好像很罗嗦。是不是也影响了理解呢?我觉得自己听懂了但是表达不好

In conclusion, that's all about how the professor lists his reasons to suppor that the picture was actually painted by Rembrandt.

自己感觉有几个问题:
概括差;语言啰嗦表达费力
因为打字快,字是可以打完的,但是太多会不会扣分啊。。。

还有就是,模板是不是有问题呢?综合作文需要总结么?谢谢!

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