2013.9.14托福独立作文解析+范文

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9月14日托福独立作文题：

“D or DA: Students who keep theirrooms neat and organized will be more likely to succeed than students who donot.”

题型：比较

论点：让步

角度：利弊分析

1. 开头：话题引入+某方观点+我方观点及过渡句

Recently aninteresting question has aroused attention among students: is there anycorrelation between cleaning the room and success? Answers vary from one personto another. Someone claims that students keeping room neat and organized ismore likely to be successful while others do not think that cleaning up theroom has anything to do with success. The way I see it, students who havethe habit of keeping rooms clean and tidy is more inclined to succeed than thosewho never do it. My viewpoint is based on the following reasons. （92字）

2. 中间段1：整理房间是良好做事习惯的体现，做事井井有条。（主题句+解释+展开）

First, keeping roomneat and organized is a reflection of a good habit of doing things in order. A student who always keeps the room neat and organized naturally willbring this good habit into work or study. There is an old saying in China thatgoes: “if one is too lazy to clean up his room, he is not likely to clean upthe country”. Literally, this saying can be explained that a grand objectivesuch as taking charge of a country consists of a large number of small stepsand each step needs to be taken seriously. Thus, a student who has a messy room always messes things up. (111字)

3. 中间段2：整理房间反映出一个人的自律性，而自律性是成功人士的一个共通性。（主题句+解释+展开）

Second, a studentoften clean up the room is usually self-disciplined and self-discipline is animportant character shared by almost all successful people. We all know that it is a real challenge to tidy the room regularlybecause the process is so tiring and boring that a very few people can actuallyinsist on, but if someone hold on to this habit week after week and month aftermonth, he must have a strong execution as well as persistence and diligence,which are all required qualities of a successful person. A Successful businessleader--Steve Jobs, are highly self-disciplined. His idea of “simplicity” notonly can be shown in his products but also in his room.  (116字)

4. 让步段：井井有条是一个好习惯，但不能过于拘泥这种形式，否则会成为一个坏毛病。所以我们要有节制地保有这种习惯。（承认它也有坏处+对其打压+回归主旨）

Admittedly, a goodhabit can be transformed into an obstacle if one pays an excessive attention toit. For instance, he spends the majority of the time and energy on cleaning upevery corner of this room and never lets anybody ruin the cleanness andorderliness. But if we manage to control this good habit within a reasonablerange, there is nothing to be worried about. Therefore, I still believe thatthe habit of keeping room neat and organized has a lot to do with being success.(87字)

5. 结尾：重申观点+归纳理由/升华主题

To put it intonutshell, a student who has the habit of keeping room neat and organized ismore likely to success. Aristotle once said, excellence is not an act, but ahabit. This habit not only embodies a successful person’s outstanding work, but also embodies his clean and orderly room. (51字)

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