菜鸟solde作文贴，求拍砖！

solde

09.13
是否同意： One can learn another person from books and movies the person likes.
你同不同意下列观点：通过一个人读的书和看的电影，我们就可以了解那个人

With the rapid development of the society, an increasing number of communication tools are produced by information industry and people have more opportunity to meet various kinds of people from distinct field since the world advocates fusion among different areas to create  unprecedented things. As a result, it is more convenient for us to exchange ideas with others. However, a new problem, how can we identify what characteristics the person has in a short time, takes on in front of us. One solution is to get knowledge of the books and the movies the person likes.

In the first place, we can obtain valuable messages by virtue of investigating how many books of movies the person has read or watched since then. Books and movies are terrific nourishment for the mind since they bring us to look at the world without traveling to other places and provide us with a large amount of knowledge. If a person had not read a essential number of books or just watched couples of movies, how could the person grow to be a well-mannered people? So the number of the books and movies a person has read or watched help us to gain a simple impression of the  person.

How about the types of the books and movies the person has experienced? The books and movies of the world no matter with which language to produce are usually categorized into diverse varieties according to the content, such as history, art, literature, science and more. In general, a person who has a big passion of history is good at cope with human relations and can handle daily affairs efficiently while an enthusiast of science stay calm and rational at most time. With this in mind, we can conclude that gathering what types the person prefers is beneficial for us to understand the person.

Besides, the number of the thickness of the books and the length of the movies also supply a couple of message for us. We can deduct that the person might have sufficient patience or the person is a firm supporter of the book or movie from the plenty of pages of a book and the plots of a movie for it takes a number of time for the person to finish. From these reasons, it is helpful for us to evaluate a person through the books or movies he or she has completed.

In short, it is a beneficial and quick method to appraise a person by means of finding out what books and movies the person is interested in from the evidence discussed above.

solde

感谢欢喜又提出了很好的意见，以后要多注意逻辑，推理是否严密，表达是否有歧义、是否简洁，再提高高级词汇的运用能力，革命尚未成功，同志仍须努力啊！

Have you ever listened to the Bach Symphony? Have you ever seen the sunflower of Van Gogh? Have you ever watched the Shawshank Redemption? If you have never had such experiences, you would never know what changes art will bring you.开头不错呦，第二句的虚拟语气也挺闪亮的 Art is the nourishment for the mind which can take you to explore the beauty of the world and appreciate the soul of the art. Just for these reasons that show art is an indispensable and meaningful part in people’s lives, from my view of point是不是应该是from my point of view,（竟然连这个都错了，没救了啊~~~） government are(is) necessary it is necessary for government 这个表达感觉要清楚一些，government are necessary t听起来很有歧义(这里译为政府是必要的，不对！)to give artists an amount of financial support.
Art is not only a way to mould temperament but also a life way people choose. As a result, government can lead citizens to behavior in a better way and improve the qualities of them意思表达不清楚（这里不明白诶） under the help of art. So it is a fine investment for government to putting money in art. By this way, government may also guide the attitude of people to art and enhance the status of the artists, thus promoting the construction of spirit and civilization. Considering these points, government can make an achievement by providing financial support for artists（to help them produce more art works of higher quality这样呢，会不会清楚一些？）.感觉Solde的这段也有些逻辑不清晰。首句说art is life style and a way to mould temperament,但是后面说的是政府可以利用art去改善人民生活质量(不是质量，是素质)，因此应该给钱支持。这跟段首的主旨句不太合呀
As we all know, income of artists fall into two extreme categories. That is to say, artists either earn a large amount of money with which they have not to they will not have to they do not have to worry about their rest life or earn such a few coins that they are not able to make a living. As a matter of fact, most artists have experienced感觉直接用过去时就OK the stage of poverty when they just begin to create the work of art since people pay more attention to the renowned artists and prefer to buy the works of these artists which have been proven to possess high value. So it is better for government to put found in the support of artists to assist them to go through the gloomy time successfully.感觉怪怪的，前面论证的挺紧扣的，后面的结尾没有说清楚。如果改成：因此，艺术家们需要政府的财政支持去帮助他们度过早期的gloomy time 从而创造更多有价值的艺术品。貌似能更清楚的表达政府应该给艺术家钱说的很对呢，的确逻辑意思的确有点不对劲So the provision of the financial support from government may assist artists to go through the gloomy time successfully.
Furthermore, the development of art might also influence（influences） the growth of tourism and economy which is the basement of the city. If a government can cultivate couples of excellent artists, it will appeal more tourists to travel to the city and thus it can improve the enhancement 直接用enhance简洁明了（的确是的） of other industries that are directly or indirectly related to the tourism. With this in mind, supporting artists with capital is beneficial to the city.
From all discussed above, it is obvious for us to conclude that government would benefit from providing financial support for artists.

北极的企鹅123

Solde君，9-13的作文改好了，恩，改的有点乱，如果你觉得我太狠了就也狠狠的批我的作文批回来吧

solde

北极的企鹅123 发表于 2013-9-16 00:35
Solde君，9-13的作文改好了，恩，改的有点乱，如果你觉得我太狠了就也狠狠的批我的作文批回来吧 ...

亲，一点没觉得过狠啊，难得有人肯花费宝贵的时间这么认真地研究我的作文，真的很感激你呢~

solde

再次感谢欢喜的尽职尽责，这次论据的确找的不太好，开头的确应该好好思考总结自己的套路，增强明确性和简洁性，注意地道的用法，还得好好加把劲呢！

With the rapid development of the society, an increasing number of communication tools are produced by information industry
and people have more opportunity to meet various kinds of people from distinct field since the world advocates fusion among different areas to create  unprecedented things. As a result, it is moreconvenient for us to exchange ideas with others. However, a new problem, howcan we identify what characteristics the person has in a short time, takes onin front of us.肿么感觉引出话题的部分长了一点呢，铺垫部
分对于引出你的观点好像作用不是很大One solution is to get knowledge of the booksand the movies the person likes.

In the first place, we can obtain valuablemessages by virtue of investigating直接用by investigating怎么样 howmany books of （and） movies the person has read or watched since then这是什么意思啊. Booksand movies are terrific nourishment for the mind since they bring us to look atthe world without traveling to other places and provide us with a large amountof knowledge. If a person had not read a essential number of books or justwatched couples of movies, how could the person grow to be a well-manneredpeople? So the number of the books and movies a person has read or watched helpus to gain a simple impression of the person.

这段的论证读起来有些牵强，段首的能获得有价值的信息和段尾总结的能获得简单的映像不太一致，并且段内的逻辑对于刚刚说的任何一个观点的支持作用都不是很明显。

How about the types of the books and movies theperson has experienced?我个人感觉这句话对于第二段主旨的表达不是很清楚， 可以考虑该为the types of books and movies the person hasexperienced will diliver us a picture about the person’s charactors. The books and movies of the world nomatter with which language to produce are usually这句话也可以试着改为no matter in what language, the books and movies could be categorized这样貌似要清楚一些，摒弃掉了一定的语法错误。 categorized into diverse varieties accordingto the content, such as history, art, literature, science and more. In general,a person who has a big passion of history is good at cope with human relationsand can handle daily affairs efficiently while an enthusiast of science stay（keeps）(这里用stays好像也可以把) calm and rational at most time. With this in mind, we canconclude that gathering what types the person prefers is beneficial for us tounderstand the person.

Besides, the number of the thickness of thebooks and the length of the movies also supply a couple of message是什么message 呢？ for us. We can deduct that the person might have sufficientpatience or the person is a firm supporter of the book or movie from the plentyof pages of a book and the plots of a movie for it takes a number of time forthe person to finish. From these reasons, it is helpful for us to evaluate aperson through the books or movies he or she has completed.

In short, it is a beneficial and quick methodto appraise a person by means of finding out what books and movies the personis interested in from the evidence discussed above.这段话貌似应该放在in short 后面

北极的企鹅123

solde 发表于 2013-9-17 14:54
亲，一点没觉得过狠啊，难得有人肯花费宝贵的时间这么认真地研究我的作文，真的很感激你呢~ ...

你客气了，我把你的作文都弄的面目全非了，也不知道改的对不对，那个用stays是可以的，我个人爱好用keeps，其实就是想说那个词单复数错了

solde

北极的企鹅123 发表于 2013-9-17 21:57
你客气了，我把你的作文都弄的面目全非了，也不知道改的对不对，那个用stays是可以的，我个人爱好用keeps ...

哈哈，别担心，我有一颗strong的心~现在你不对我狠点儿难道等着ETS削我？

solde

9.18
technology helps to make people's lives simpler or to make people's lives morecomplicated

Living in a rapidly developing society, people have more opportunity to touch various types of technology. Some people say that technology has made their lives more complicated since the work they need to do become more difficult and takes them more energy to complete. From my perspective, however, with the help of technology, we are able to live in a simpler way since the advantages of technology outnumber the disadvantages. My arguments for this point are listed as follows.

In the past, we have no choice but to keep in touch with other people who live far from us by writing letters which take mail carriers couples of months to deliver. Nowadays, however, with the help of technology, we have several ways to maintain connection with each other more easily and immediately, such as making a phone call, sending a e-mail, chatting on line and more. That is to say we can receive significant messages in the first time and then cope with them at once rather than miss the best opportunity to solve them. As a result, technology aid us to communicate with each other in a easier way.

Can you imagine living without subways, trains or air planes？I guess the answers of most people are "No" which also is the answer of mine. As we all know, the young people of old times have to travel a long distance for few months on foot just for take a national exam. But now people go to another country by air plane just to watch a live show performed by their favorite singers which is a unbelievable dream in the past. We can travel to any places in a short time, even out of the earth if we are able to afford a large amount of money.

When my mother was still a child, she was ordered by parents to chop mood from nearby mountains to make a fire to cook meals. If she had not done this， the whole family has no food to gorge their stomach. Whereas the children of these days even do not understand how to chop. They just cook with electric cooker or microwave oven which can be used by only turning the button. With this in mind, we conclude that people live in a simpler way in the present.

As all mentioned above, technology bring us a method to live more simply with less time or energy that we can spend on more meaningful or fascinating things to enjoy ourselves better.

sherlock1992

solde 发表于 2013-9-18 19:46
9.18
technology helps to make people's lives simpler or to make people's lives morecomplicated

ok了~~~~~~今天竟然是阴天~~~~~~

solde

9.19
在家工作好还是在公司工作好

With the development of technology, an increasing number of modern people have an inclination to work at home rather than spend a load of time traveling to offices since they are able to utilize the time to have a rest and collect more energy to do a better job. From my perspective, however, it is more beneficial for people to work in companys rather than at home. My arguments for this point are listed as follows.

These days, programs need to be finished by several people who join together as a team group in the same breath since the missions are much more complicated than many years ago. This is to say that the team members have to communicate or discuss relative problems and schemes now and then during the work time to successfully reach an agreement to fulfill the project on time. Although colleagues can also cooperate through Internet, it is more convenient to work face to face. In this way, co-workers exchange ideas with others not only by words but also by figures or expressions. As a result, people operate assignments in a more efficient way in offices than at home.

Human is born to be social animal which requires interaction with each other in their daily life. Working together creates a fabulous atmosphere for people to work efficiently and bring them opportunities to share fresh happenings and feelings with others. What's more, some people meet and make friends of the identical interest or characteristic during the process. And working in offices gives us something staying at home cannot offer us，such as enjoying a pastime with a crowd of people, learning from others and more. Considering discussed above, we conclude that people procure more in offices than at home.

As we all know, a company usually possesses a number of valuable facilities which aid staffs to performance smoothly and which are too costly for individual to afford. Furthermore, a company is willing to pay for the most original facilities only if them bring it more profit when a new machine displaces the old one in a short time. One the other hand, it is not necessary for one person to purchase such facilities just for work. From these reasons, the advantages of working in offices outnumber those of staying at home.

As all mentioned above, working in company provides us with more benefits than staying at home. So we would better to go to offices to accomplish programs rather than work at home.