学托的立志血战，6个月全程直播更新，求监督吐槽

perfectends

呃。。。好吧。。。这两天手写笔记。。。感觉无监督无效率。。。我也要开始贴了。。。

perfectends

iamyingjie 发表于 2013-8-15 09:06
Mark, 你的奋发精神也感染了我。我也会每日打卡、更新。务必保持，风雨无阻哦～ ...

哈哈，总感觉cd处处能找到正能量。。。

Markk丶

占座~~~~

Markk丶

TPO1 写作

Topic：At universities and colleges, sports and social activities are just as important as classes and libraries and should receive equal financial support.

Commonly, most college students are losing two important things, one of which is the ability to communicate and the other is their own health. The cause of that is they don’t put much value on sports and social activities. So it would be better for college to provide financial support as balanced for social activities as for classes and libraries.

All those sports and social activities will enhance our abilities to solve problems, to communicate with people, and to cooperate with colleague. But books and teachers don’t teach these social competences. Only through attending extracurricular activities can help you. If you play basketball with your friends, teamwork is important. Whole team should pass the ball selflessly, and in this process you learn how to cooperate with people. In the future, this precious experience maybe will help you do better in your work.

As we know, classes and libraries can offer a silent environment to have a course and study, it can help students to learn more knowledge. But what the students really need is much more comprehensive skills. If students only focus on studying, they will become more and more shy and diffident, and few communicating with others also make them avoid showing themselves. Sometimes professor ask students to do a research which test their comprehensive skills. But most people cannot finish the homework on time, or even have no idea. So we can see that these students lack an important social ability.

Even though all above things don’t set up, the most important thing we could not doubt is that all those outdoor activities can strength our body and make us health. The students can leave from the library and classroom to outside. No matter to do some exercise or take part in social activity, both can let us move. It’s better than sitting in the library or classroom all day.

Nowadays, we cans see this serious tendency become worse, the best way to reverse this process is to take part in meaningful activities. The college, as an organization that is responsible for children in the future, should spend money on these activities, and encourage students to implement activities.

Markk丶

9.23写作

Since most people cannot choose to work at home,many of them are just are accustomed to working in company’s office. Itresults that people think it’s great and necessary to work in company. But, Isupport that working alone at home. Maybe It will be hard for these people to acceptthat. But I find it’s quite convincing for me.

It’s a common sense that working in a comfortableand quite place is pretty important. When you’re at home, in a silentenvironment, you can focus exclusively on your work. The soft music and a cupof coffee can make you feel relax and excited. If you’re tired, anytime andanywhere, you can lie on the couch to take a rest. Even you can do some indoorexercise, such as boxing, push-up and crunches. Since sitting for a long timemakes your body exhausted, do some sports can help you keep health and alsomake you feel relax.

Admittedly, some people maybe think ifthere is someone at home, such as your parents, working at home is notdissimilar to work in company. There’s also something will influence you. In myopinion, it doesn’t matter whether your parents live with you, since you canrequire them not to disturb you when you’re doing your work. Instead, allmotions happen around you will attract your attention in the company. Workingin company will be less effective and efficient.

Also, there is another factor alsomake people work inefficiently in the office. You work in company, everythingis decided by your manager or boss. It’s a really terrible arrangement when youhave any sudden event happens. For instance, two months ago, my uncle cannotwent to hosiptal son fractured Since its flexible working time and time savingon the commute from home to office, we can arrange our calendar in a suitableway.That’s seemed working at home is awonderful way to improve our work efficiency.

Although maybe working in the companyhas some good, it can’t disrupt a real truth that all above things are crucialfactors, if lacking any of those factors, it’s hardly to finish your workeffectively, and even fall in fail. So try to apply for working at home, youwill receive a great benefit from it.

铁板神猴

Topic：At universities and colleges, sports and social activities are just as important as classes and libraries and should receive equal financial support.

Modified Version:

Normally, most college students are losing two kind of important qualities, one of which is the communicating skills, and the other is their own health. The cause of that is students themselves don’t put much value on sports and social activities. So it would be better for college to provide financial support as balanced for social activities as for classes and libraries.
--- No problem, you started it in a normal social problem, and to change that, college should take action!


All those sports and social activities will enhance our abilities to solve problems, to communicate with people, and to cooperate with future colleagues. Books and teachers cannot teach you this. Only through attending extracurricular activities can you get these social competences. If you play basketball with your friends, teamwork is important. Whole team should pass the ball selflessly, and in this process you learn how to cooperate with people. In the future, this precious experience maybe will help you do better in your work.
--- in particular, how did this basketball coorperating story develop? How you pass the ball and how it makes difference maybe even on your teammates' face!

--- that's the Cooperating Spirit you should mention within the lines. so the "social competences" maybe misleads your topic a little. And you gotta describe how those activities help you get to understand the coorperating spirit.


Admittedly, classes and libraries do provide an academic environment for students to improve their performance on various disciplines, such as Math, Language, Geoology, Science, etc. But what the students really need is comprehensive skills. (btw, how do you decide that students need more comprehensive skills than academic scores? I'd suggest you to leave it out. You have to sincerely admit first that the other choice DO have some minor goodness.) That will increase students' over-all knowledge and help them access to more books and journals. However, colleges have already put a great emphasis on these resources, with more and more libraries being built in the campus. Once all students can only stay in the library, focus on textbooks in their classes, and never get access to necessary social acitivities, they will be changed into an unbelievable learning machine. Lack of sports and social training makes people shy to talk and nervous when facing stress. It will even be hard for them to understand each other! In order to change this, we need to do what......

Sometimes professor ask students to do a research which test their comprehensive skills. But most people cannot finish the homework on time, or even have no idea. So we can see that these students lack an important social ability.
--- the problem of your original story is to tell too many ideas. Still the same problem. and even the last story make an new example that tells people about how nowadays students failed in his research? why would that help prove college should not put too much value on classes and libraries?

the key of this kind of paragraph, which is trying to make a comparison between the goodness and even more big problem in this goodness of other choice, should introduce your reasons step by step, and show them patiently, livly how things happened, what specific things happened in your real life then? even an eyesight, even a cup of tea, describe it!


Even though the above points are ignored, the most important thing we could not doubt is that all those outdoor activities can strength our body and make us health.  -strange. change it. At least those acitivities could ... The students can leave from the library and classroom to outside. No matter to do some exercise or take part in social activity, both can let us move. It’s better than sitting in the library or classroom all day.--- give me the image! What specific activities they are attending, exactly? How did they laugh and excise in those games, and how did the activities finally change their bodies, in which specific aspect?

---More details.

Nowadays, we cans see this serious tendency become worse, the best way to reverse this process is to take part in meaningful activities. The college, responsible for children in the future, should invest money on these activities, and encourage students to implement activities.

Markk丶

铁板神猴 发表于 2013-10-10 17:23
Topic：At universities and colleges, sports and social activities are just as important as classes a ...

TPO 1
At universities and colleges, sports and social activities are just as important as classes and libraries and should receive equal financial support.

Normally, most college students are losing two kinds of important qualities, one of which is communicating skills, and the other is their own health. The cause of that is students themselves don’t put much value on sports and social activities. So it would be better for college to provide financial support as balanced for social activities as for classes and libraries.

All those sports and social activities will enhance our abilities to solve problems, to communicate with people, and to cooperate with future colleagues. Books and teachers cannot teach you this. Only through attending extracurricular activities can you get these social competences. From my own experience, I always play basketball with my friends after school. As you know, teamwork is important for playing basketball. Also, I’m appreciated that I have a nice team. All my teammates contribute to the team, and believe that only unity can help us to win the game. Whole team passes the ball selflessly without any hesitations. Every score makes us blood-boiling, and hug each other and clap. In this process we learn how to cooperate with people. In the future, this cooperating spirit maybe will help you do better in your work.

Admittedly, classes and libraries do provide an academic environment for students to improve their performance on various disciplines, such as Math, Language, Geology, Science, etc. That will increase students' over-all knowledge and help them access to more books and journals. However, colleges have already put a great emphasis on these resources, with more and more libraries being built in the campus. It damages the balance between studying and activities. Once all students can only stay in the library, focus on textbooks in their classes, and never get access to necessary social activities, they will be changed into an unbelievable learning machine. Lack of sports and social training makes people shy to talk and nervous when facing stress. It will even be hard for them to understand each other! There’s a one such example in my side. One day, the professor asks students to do a research which test their comprehensive skills. But most people cannot finish the homework on time, or even have no idea. Only the students who always take part in many outdoor activities can accomplish it easily. They communicated with some other professors to get more knowledge about this research. After that, in the Internet, they found useful news and information quickly, and easily also. So we can see that these students who prefer to attend activities have a high social ability.

Even though the above points are ignored, at least those activities could strength our body. The students can leave from the library and classroom to outside. No matter to do some exercise or take part in social activity, both can let us move. It’s better than sitting in the library or classroom all day. And facing to the computers to find the information or staring at the books to become a study machine. It will cause many diseases. So the best way to prevent it is to go out and do some exercises. If you like sporting like me, finding your friends to do that. Sporting can promote blood circulation and make you feel excited and relaxed. For instance, if you play tennis, the whole body will be in a state of motion. Each stiff muscle will become relaxing and stronger. After sweating and bathing, to your surprise, you can focus on your studying efficiently. That’s the outdoor activities’ charm. It keeps your health and even lets your spirit.

Nowadays, we cans see some serious tendency become worse in the students, such as their constitution are becoming more and more poor , the best way to reverse this process is to take part in meaningful and healthy activities. The college, responsible for children in the future, should invest money on these activities, and encourage students to implement activities.

铁板神猴

TPO 1
At universities and colleges, sports and social activities are just as important as classes and libraries and should receive equal financial support.

Normally, most college students are losing two kinds of important qualities, one of which is communicating skills, and the other is their own health. The cause of that is students themselves don’t put much value on sports and social activities. So it would be better for college to provide financial support as balanced for social activities as for classes and libraries.

All those sports and social activities will enhance our abilities to solve problems, to communicate with people, and to cooperate with future colleagues. Books and teachers cannot teach you this. Only through attending extracurricular activities can you get these social competences. From my own experience, I always play basketball with my friends after school. As you know, teamwork is important for playing basketball. Also, I’m appreciated that I have a nice team. All my teammates contribute to the team, and believe that only unity can help us to win the game. Whole team passes the ball selflessly without any hesitations. Every score makes us blood-boiling, and hug each other and clap. In this process we learn how to cooperate with people. In the future, this cooperating spirit maybe will help you do better in your work.

Admittedly, classes and libraries do provide an academic environment for students to improve their performance on various disciplines, such as Math, Language, Geology, Science, etc. That will increase students' over-all knowledge and help them get access to more books and journals. However, colleges have already put a great emphasis on these resources, with more and more libraries being built in the campus. This damages the balance between studying and activities. Once all students can only stay in the library, focus on textbooks in their classes, and never get involved in necessary social activities, they will be changed into an unbelievable learning machine. Lack of sports and social training makes people too shy to talk and get nervous when facing stress. It will even be hard for them to understand each other! There’s a one such example in my side. One day, the professor asks students to do a research which test their comprehensive skills. But most people cannot finish the homework in time, or even have no idea. Only the students who always take part in many outdoor activities can accomplish it easily. They communicated with some other professors to get more knowledge about this research. After that, in the Internet, they found useful news and information quickly, and easily also. So we can see that these students who prefer to attend activities have a high social ability.

Even though the above points are ignored, at least activities can strengthen your body. The students can leave from the library and classroom to outside. No matter to do some exercise or take part in social activity, both can let us move. It’s better than sitting in the library or classroom all day. And facing to the computers to find the information or staring at the books to become a study machine. It will cause many diseases. So the best way to prevent it is to go out and do some exercises. If you like sporting like me, finding your friends to do that. Sporting can promote blood circulation and make you feel excited and relaxed. For instance, if you play tennis, the whole body will be in a state of motion. Each stiff muscle will become relaxing and stronger. After sweating and bathing, to your surprise, you can focus on your studying efficiently. That’s the outdoor activities’ charm. It keeps your health and even lets your spirit.

Nowadays, we can see some serious tendency become worse in the students, such as their constitution are becoming more and more poor , the best way to reverse this process is to take part in meaningful and healthy activities. The college, which is responsible for children's future, should invest money on these activities, instead of focusing on academic environment such as classes and libraries.

铁板神猴

TPO 1
At universities and colleges, sports and social activities are just as important as classes and libraries and should receive equal financial support.
        
Normally, most college students are losing two kinds of important qualities, one of which is communicating skills, and the other is their own health. The cause of that is students themselves don’t put much value on sports and social activities. So it would be better for college to provide financial support as balanced for social activities as for classes and libraries.

All those sports and social activities will enhance our abilities to solve problems, to communicate with people, and to cooperate with future colleagues. Books and teachers cannot teach you this. Only through attending extracurricular activities can you get these social skills. It’s especially useful to me that I have a daily habit to play basketball after school with my friends, Leon and Jon. Leon is organizing attacks and Jon is getting the rebounds. I’m taking charge of getting the final score. That’s a strict strategy for us to pass the ball, in which time and to which person. We make a perfect team winning every single basketball game during middle school life. That’s the most cherished memory I could ever have from which I learn that cooperation is always better than personal skills.

Admittedly, classes and libraries do provide an academic environment for students to improve their performance on various disciplines, such as Math, Language, Geology, Science, etc. That increases students' over-all knowledge and help them get access to more books and journals. However, colleges have already put a great emphasis on these resources, with more and more libraries being built in the campus. Once all students can only stay in the library, focus on textbooks in their classes, and never get access to necessary social activities, they will be changed into an unbelievable learning machine. Lack of sports and social training makes people too shy to talk and nervous when facing stress. It will even be hard for them to understand each other! For instance, my classmate Peter is totally a study nerd. His favorite and ONLY activities are things like reading books from day to night, spending eleven hours a day preparing tests, etc. I just cannot imagine how he survives when having no time to communicate with others, let alone to make new friends. Yes, he might get a highest score in the whole class, but so what?! I just don’t think it’s a good way to enjoy your studying. In my opinion, he has lost the most important part of student life.

Even though we don’t take into account all those above points, activities can, at least, strengthen your body. If you like playing tennis, find your friends to do that. It makes the whole body in a state of motion. You will run around the ground, following the bounding ball, waving tennis rackets, and sweating a lot. That's exciting! right? If you take part in outdoor activities such as planting trees, it’s another kind of exercise. You bend down, plant a seedling into the soil, and water the them later. Actually, you are not only helping build a greener earth, but also enhancing your body muscle at the same time. The college should encourage more of these activities than of just facilities to build a study machine.

Now, we can see that these sports and social activities are quite important for students. The college, which is responsible for students' future, should invest more money on these activities, instead of just focusing on developing an academic environment. To do that, we can offer students a better life.

铁板神猴

新文章贴出来哦 mark~