7月1日作业，求狠批~~~

特里凡得琅

Do you agreeor disagree with the following statement?Peopleshould have hobbies and do physical activities that are quite different fromwhat they do at work?

From 8:30AM-17:00 PM, I sit in the crowded office with my laptop, staring at the screen,making the schematic drawings for hours. From 18:00 PM – 19:00 PM, I get offwork, change my clothes and shoes, and meet my friends in the basketball field,shooting the 3-pointer from the corner. After this exciting game and a goodrest, the tiredness of work is swept off. I feel more energized to concentrateon my work in the next day. Someone claims that people should have hobbies anddo physical activities that are similar to their job for the sake of career development.However, I would like to state that hobbies and exercises, different from whatwe do at work, will benefit our career.

Extending thenetwork will be one of the advantages that varieties of hobbies bring to us. Itis a widely accepted view that the career cannot develop well without broadnetwork. With hobbies different from our job, we will have more opportunity tomeet new friends in different areas, effectively broaden our horizon throughinteracting with them. I got a lot of friends in various industries duringplaying basketball together. When I meet some issues in a certain kind of area,my first choice is to contact my friend in that industry to have more professionalsuggestion. The merit that different hobbies bring to us is increasing possibilityto broaden our network.

Moreover, itis an effective way to relief the pressure and boringness in work. If we choosethe hobbies and exercise similar to our job, the boringness after a long periodof concentration will drastically increase. We will feel really exhausted althoughwe do the exercise after work, and the tiredness, in turn, will affect ourperformance in the work. To avoid the occurrence of this situation, it ishighly recommended to explore the hobbies and exercises that we really enjoy.Usually, this kind of preference will not be in line with what we do at work.For example, as an engineer who works on drawings every day, I could hardlyprefer the activity such as computer games in my leisure time since I have sitin front of the computer for too long times.

Admittedly, wecould practice more the professional skills through the hobbies in line withour work. However, according to my experience, it is more effective to developour skills in working time under an energized condition than to practice themwhen we are tired in leisure time.

To sum up,considering the merits mentioned above, it is better for people to have hobbiesand do physical exercises different from what they do at work. It willestablish a beneficial cycle that we work hard but energized and get totallyrelax in the leisure time.

                                                   

铁板吗啡

特里，我看你文章了。
大体结构什么多没问题的。

有几个小意见：
1.对于每个分论点,都有在举例支持。但是没有啥层次。还不够，还需要多点的支持。
2.另外对于文章的观点，你讲了两个论点来支持：network, relief 论点之间的衔接了？？
  如果结构和逻辑上都能衔接就好了。

特里凡得琅

铁板吗啡 发表于 2013-7-4 13:27
特里，我看你文章了。
大体结构什么多没问题的。

多谢啦···我再想想怎么论证的更充分

perfectends

铁板吗啡 发表于 2013-7-4 13:27
特里，我看你文章了。
大体结构什么多没问题的。

这是哪一个？神猴和吗啡都一并调戏了，高手哈。。。