狠批至上！

heys

楼主不好意思，我重新改了一遍，收回我的错误观点···不好意思···
As the reading passage says that the reasons for decllining of number of the yellow cedars, 第一句读起来有点别扭，that后面接从句，但是你的从句只有一个名词成分在里面，没有谓语，如果你要表达的是 文章说表明了几个观点，that 就该去掉，而且觉得says也不太好，改成states吧，如果你用instructor的话后面接says还差不多the professor disagrees with them这个them指的是passage还是passage的reasons，一般都是不同意观点，质疑理由吧，这个有待讨论 from three respective aspects.

First, the lecture indicates that cedars are more resistant than other trees, and they can secrete posional 有毒的好像是poisonous,你是这个意思么chemicals which can kill the beetles eating the cedars. This is intradicted这个单词没有查到，是要表达对立的意思吗，是contradict to the reading that the insect parasites especially the cedar bark beetle contribute to the decreasion decrease本来就可以当做名词，减少的意思，没有你那种写法的of cedars.

Second, cedar trees are both domicated这个又是什么意思我猜不到了 the mainland and island through the passage, but the island whichwhere,exist不及物，用关系副词 no bear exists is also experiencing the declinion注意拼写 of the cedars, illustrating the bears are having nothing to do with the situation of the cedars.哪些是文中观点，哪些是听力观点最好说明

third, the passage illustrates that the climate changes the number of cedars. And it says the yellow cedar trees are more sensitive now and they cannot stand当忍受讲时STAND及物，后面不用加介词 (with) the cold weather so they are dead in the night. Therefore, the trees live in a higher 没有先行词? which has a cold condition are easier to die than the trees in lower positions which has a warm weather.这个分句的话，首先cold跟condition好像一般不这么搭配，可以说low temperature,后面的话weather不可数，所以a应该去掉，同时weather表示一个地方的气候，这里用来说山脚山顶的温度差不合适 However, the fact is that trees in lower situationlower situation是什么situation are die more than those in the higher place. 估计听清了，但是没有表达清楚，这样很可惜···Thus, the climate are人称和数要一致，用ISnot responsible for the phenomenon which was referred in the passage.


呃···楼主你说狠狠批的，有些话说重了不要生我的气啊~
都是为了你好嘛，再说我也没有恶意的，不都是为了进步嘛，你说是吧~
如果这是楼主你的真实水平的话，真的要好好加油了哦~
首先，单词好好背，顺带着短语搭配也一起看看
然后是认真组织句子回答问题，不然因为语法错误失分真的很可惜
最后，唉，其实我也水平一般般啦，有些意见只供参考的，楼主千万不要因为我自信心受打击啊···你还是很不错的，相信自己····
共勉咯~加油~！

applesoforever

heys 发表于 2013-7-31 21:15
As the reading passage says that the reasons for decllining of number of the yellow cedars, 第一句读 ...

改得很细致  很好  谢谢

applesoforever

heys 发表于 2013-7-31 21:15
As the reading passage says that the reasons for decllining of number of the yellow cedars, 第一句读 ...

补充个吧 你说的两点理由我看听力原文了 没说错 你自己再看看吧 应该是你的理解出了问题

heys

applesoforever 发表于 2013-7-31 22:02
补充个吧 你说的两点理由我看听力原文了 没说错 你自己再看看吧 应该是你的理解出了问题  ...

哦哦~那就是我听错了，不好意思哦````囧大了····

lijinglol

蓝色是建议修改，紫色是强烈建议修改，有什么不妥请指出><~

In the reading part(the reading material illustrate that) the genetically modified trees are more excellent than other speices of trees. But in the lecture the professor gives three reasons to contradict the point referring in the reading.

First, the passage says that the genetically modified trees are more resistant to serious conditions like pest(pests/pest invasions) than other kinds of trees, so they are (more likely)able to survive. The professor in the lecture points out that the normal various trees  which are unmodified(个人认为这个修饰多余) have the diverse genes, so there must be certain speices（individuals /species指整个物种吧，而且听力里用的是individual） can prevent（escape） from being hurted if they meet（can handle） different kinds of serious situations such as the new pest or the changing of climate(climate change). However, the genetic modification make gene of the trees very uniform, so they can only be resistant to the ones having the specific gene. If these trees are suffering a intrusion of a new pest owning the new gene, they will be not able to survive and die out finally.（这两句话有点啰嗦，完全可以合并成一句，突出“会被一种灾难全部灭杀”就可以了）

Second, （contrary to the reading,）the lecture says that the cost of genetically modified trees are (actually) higher than those (of )non-modified trees. On one hand, the price of the seeds of modified trees will be higher than the non-modifed ones. On the other hand, when finishing buying seeds, the farmers are(will) still need to give money to the companies everytime they planted becase the law has regulated this(so). Therefore, from the cost aspect, the genetically modified trees are not better than the unmodified trees.

Third, the professor illustrates that the genetically modified trees are growing more aggressively than wild trees. Hence, they will be compete(听力里是outcomplete 言简意赅) for resources like sunlight and water which are also needed by wild trees, making wild trees die out. Thus, this is exactly opposite to the point of reading part.

显得有点头重脚轻，下次试试让三段的体积均衡起来~第一段偏啰嗦，第三段太过简洁，可以尝试在第三段加入更多听力的推理过程，或者阅读观点的简单陈述。还要注意一些小错误呀>,<~

applesoforever

lijinglol 发表于 2013-8-1 11:00
蓝色是建议修改，紫色是强烈建议修改，有什么不妥请指出>,

climate change..
恩 改得很好 谢了
马上帮你改~

sherlock1992

apple, 你的TPO19呢？？？

applesoforever

sherlock1992 发表于 2013-8-27 08:13
apple, 你的TPO19呢？？？

忘了。。。抱歉。。。马上写！！！

applesoforever

tpo 19 综合

The buzzers should be banned in the reading passage, but the speaker in the listening part disagrees the reading from three different perspectives.

Frist, the man points out that the buzzers are tell the truth when facing with consumers. In other words, uzzers will not lie to consumers even if they take the money from the company. Also, the company are only hiring the ones who indeed used their product and think their product is acutually good wholeheartly. This is constracted with the reading passage that buzzers will mislead clients with incorrect information about the product only because they took money from the company.

Second, the student in the listening part states that the fact that clients will not trust buzzers instead of trusting buzzers which refered in the reading part. The clients will ask the buzzers many questions such as the price of the commodity and the service about it, also they ask how long they are able to use the goods. If the buzzers cannot answer one of questions, the customers will not buy the product.

Third, as the reading part points out the buzzers will make people mistrust with each other. The student in the listening passage points out that if the commodity does not bear a good quality, then the company can not hire a buzzer to announce it. In other words, the quality of the products that  buzzers annouced are good, so if the clients purchase the products, they will have a great experience, making them develop more trust with buzzers. Thus, they will open heart to people.

In conclusion, the man in the listening part states his opinion which is opposed to the reading part.  

applesoforever

sherlock1992 发表于 2013-8-27 08:13
apple, 你的TPO19呢？？？

写好了~~~狠批啊亲！！！