argu4....咔嚓。。

JCBrenda

136. Thefollowing appeared in a letter to the school board in the town of Centerville.

"Allstudents should be required to take the driver's education course atCenterville High School. In the past two years, several accidents in and aroundCenterville have involved teenage drivers. Since a number of parents inCenterville have complained that they are too busy to teach their teenagers todrive, some other instruction is necessary to ensure that these teenagers aresafe drivers. Although there are two driving schools in Centerville, parents ona tight budget cannot afford to pay for driving instruction. Therefore aneffective and mandatory program sponsored by the high school is the onlysolution to this serious problem."

Write aresponse in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in orderto decide whether the recommendation and the argument on which it is based arereasonable. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help toevaluate the recommendation.

In thisargument, the author concludes that the high school is the only solution tosolve the serious problems about teenage drivers' high accidents. This argumentseems somewhat appealing at first glance, close scrutiny of this argument,however, reveals that some questions need clarifying further.

Firstly,does all students need to receive the driver's education course? The authorignores that some students' ability of driving are too good to accept thedriving course. Besides, several accidents in and around Centerville involvingteenage drivers the author cites amount to scant evidence to prove that thisquestion from 2 aspects. Firstly, it is entirely possible that it is not thefault of students that contribute to the accidents. Perhaps, some cars or pedestriansbreaking the transportation rules result in that. Secondly, the author fails tooffer enough statistics about the accidental rates of teenage drivers in theprevious years. Perhaps the rate have been always decreasing. Without rulingout all these explanations the author cannot conclude that the students are notgood at driving safely and are eager to be educated about driving skills.

Moreover,is it true that a large number of parents cannot teach their children drivingor afford the fees of driving schools? There are no clear evidence to explainabout it. Perhaps, there are only little number of parents who are too busy toteach their children and cannot affordable the budgets. Given no clear data,the author cannot justifiably convince me that it is necessary to give studentsextra driving lessons.

Last butnot least, even if the answers of foregoing problems are "yes", is itthe only solution to make the high school provide the lessons? It isquestionable whether the high school are qualified to offer this course both infunds and capability. And the government is also a good choice to selectbecause it has more resources to rely on, like making use of the drivingschools' teachers. Besides, there are some negative influences of this course.Perhaps, the course is not very effective for students at last. Even if it isright and reasonable, the special case in Centerville may be not applicable toall people in the whole country.

To sumup, what the author's assumptions is based on fails to be convincing. Topersuade me, the author have to provide more valid evidence about the actualdata of accidental rate of teenage drivers and students' driving abilities. Wealso need to be offered more information about the proportion of parents' timeor budgets which can be donated to the students' driving. Eventually, we shouldknow whether the case in Centerville applies to all places in this country andthe ability of this high school to provide this course.

普渡哥

In this argument, the author concludes that the high school is the only solution to solve the serious problems about teenage drivers' high accidents.

第一句话什么意思？翻译一下，看看通不通。

竹林中人

In this argument, theauthor concludes that the high school is the only solution to solve the seriousproblems about teenage drivers' high accidents. 这句话LZ有点偷工减料了，首先solution不是high school，其次青少年司机的高事故也不够准确。This argument 建议直接it seems somewhat appealing atfirst glance, close scrutiny of this argument, however, reveals that somequestions need clarifying further.建议能把题目中的依据简要的概括下。

Firstly, do all students need toreceive the driver's education course? The author ignores that some students'ability of driving are too good to accept the drivingcourse.too……to结构用在这里就不对了，太好了而不能接受驾驶课么？ Besides, several accidents in andaround Centerville involving teenage drivers the author cites amount to scantevidence to prove that this question from two建议不要用阿拉伯数字 aspects. Firstly, it is entirely possible that it is not the faultof students that contributes to the accidents.Perhaps, some cars or pedestrians breaking the transportation rules result inthat. Secondly, the author fails to offer enough statistics about theaccidental rates of teenage drivers in the previous years. Perhaps the rate hasbeen always decreasing. 与其说比率在降低，不如说比例很低，比中年司机的事故率还低。Without ruling out all these explanations the author cannot concludethat the students are not good at driving safely and are eager to be educatedabout driving skills.一段里面写进多个质疑点是不太好的尤其是你选择的几个质疑点不是同类型的。

Moreover, is it true that a large number of parentscannot teach their children 题目没提到large number，而是 a number，driving or afford the fees of driving schools? There is no clear evidence to explain about it. Perhaps,there is only little number of parents who are too busy tot each their childrenand cannot affordable the budgets. Given no clear data, the author cannotjustifiably convince me that it is necessary to give students extra drivinglessons.这段最好重写

Last but not least, even if the answers offoregoing problems are "yes", is it the only solution to make thehigh school provide the lessons? It is questionable whether the high school arequalified to offer this course both in funds and capability. And the government is also a good choice to select because ithas more resources to rely on,这前面这句不够明确，政府怎么样是个不错的选择以及有更多的可依靠的资源作甚？虽然知道你想说什么，但你不写出来，就当是表达不全 like making use of the driving schools' teachers. Besides, thereare some negative influences of this course. Perhaps,the course is not very effective for students at last.这句话既然你说出来了，就有必要说出个一句来 ，就是你为什么可以这么质疑而不是无凭无据地Even if it is right and reasonable, the specialcase in Centerville may be not applicable to all people in the whole country. 这点哪里有？

To sum up, what theauthor's assumptions is based on fails to be convincing. To persuade me,the author has to provide more valid evidence about the actual data ofaccidental rate of teenage drivers and students' driving abilities. We alsoneed to be offered more information about the proportion of parents' time orbudgets which can be donated to the students' driving. Eventually, we shouldknow whether the case in Centerville
applies to all places in this country and the ability of this high school toprovide this course.

竹林中人

文章段落意思不够集中，作为argument，意思不能很集中的表达，只是东拼西凑，想到什么写什么，实在很难得高分的。

JCBrenda

文章段落意思集中表达具体是什么意思呢？ 虽然有点知道那个意思，但是不是很能理解的说==||是说三个段落之间要有联系，还是说段落本身内部的逻辑错误要有一定的联系，对它的逻辑错误的攻击不能肆意抨击呢？
O(∩_∩)O谢谢版主指教！！
发现原来写好argu也不是那么容易啊==
惭愧！！！#_#

竹林中人

文章段落意思集中表达具体是什么意思呢？ 虽然有点知道那个意思，但是不是很能理解的说==||是说三个段落之间要有联系，还是说段落本身内部的逻辑错误要有一定的联系，对它的逻辑错误的攻击不能肆意抨击呢？
O(∩_∩)O谢谢版主指教！！
发现原来写好argu也不是那么容易啊==
惭愧！！！#_#

-- by 会员 JCBrenda (2013/3/18 20:16:11)

对于argument，主要是段落内，要集中，就像我们自己说话反驳别人样，要集中活力，攻其一点即可