issue 28 求拍

cir

issue写得我要吐血了。。感觉不是很好把握一个准确的主题，写着写着就跑了的感觉，而且不能用尽可能精确的句子表达想法。就这篇练习感觉第二段太长而且不好断不好收，结果后面包括结尾都太草率。希望大虾指点一些～

题目：The surest indicator of a great nation isrepresented not by the achievements of its rulers, artists, or scientists, butby the general welfare of its people.

提纲：agree
1.大部分人在评价一个国家时过分重视great artist, ruler或者scientist而忽略了一个国家整体人民生活品质。
2.在没有整体人民生活品质的前提下，任何看起来“great”的国家其实都是伪命题。举例论证。
3.以追求个人成功和提升为国家的最终目的，也只有这样的国家才能诞生great artist, ruler，scientist
so，应该以general welfare作为评判一个国家是否伟大的标准。


I would heartedly agree with the idea thatthe indicator of a great nation is represented not by the achievement of itsrules, artists, or scientists, but by the general welfare of its people. Well, itdoes has some merits to judge a nation by its greatest artists, scientistsbecause these people can, to some extent, represent one country. But sometimeswe focus too much about these unordinary people to forget the true greatness ofone nation is represented by its general welfare of all people.

First of all, it not to deny the importantcontributions of rulers, artists, or scientists to one nation. Just like one ofthe greatest president of American, Roosevelt who leaded the nation to walk outof the quagmire of depression and win the Second World War, which makes thefoundation of world’s greatest nation nowadays. Also, you can find that Americanis a great nation by its largest number of Nobel-prize winner of the world and numerouscreative artists. It seems that it is such an easy way to judge whether the nationis great or not. However, a close and further analysis of this argument will wefind out that only when the contributions and achievements of rulers, artists,or scientists finally to develop general welfare of its people can we concludethe greatness of a nation, otherwise, we will find any so called ‘greatness’are just hallucination. Because the one and only purpose of a nation is to meetneeds of the most people, for this consideration, it is meaningless to over emphasizingthe achievements of whole country and ignoring the welfare and success ofindividuals. And this is also the reason why Soviet Union came to an end collapsing,German’s lose and destruction in second world war and north Korea to beregarded as a totalitarian, hopeless nation today. All of these countries didhave a great achievements in its scientific research, military power or someother filed, such as it is soviet the first country sending an astronaut tospace outside of earth in cold war, it is German who owned the powerful anddeveloped armored military in second world war, and recently North Korea had a successfullyexperiment of nuclear weapon. However, none of these country’s governments havetheir people’s general welfare concerned and people lived in these country sufferedeither famish or no individual freedom. So, can we define country like this agreat nation?

Additionally, any great ruler, artist orscientist comes from an ordinary person, which is to say to improve a nation’sgeneral welfare of all people is the fundamental way to have a garden to bringup a great person. And when we see the true greatness of American can we figureout it’s the nation’s democracy political system and freedom guarantee forindividual that allows every person to seek self-improvement and personal success,which makes some of them finally become the great ruler, artist and scientist.

In conclusion, any nation should focus onits duty which is to improve general welfare of individual. And only in those countrywhere people lived happy and free to pursuit personal success can we indicatethe greatness of them.

cir

顺求如何在短时间内提高写作速度和正确率的方法啊……急死了。。本来拼写就差现在只求能顺利写完

竹林中人

it not to deny ？
Americanis a great nation？
这篇写的不是很好。Issue最好一段只表达一个意思，第二段however那里就可以分段了

竹林中人

我觉得这个题目需要分情况，比如像中美俄日法英德等大国，两者都是很重要的，而对于类似于新加坡、瑞士、丹麦等小国，也许民众个人的福利更显得重要

cir

谢谢！！我回去改改