216考TOEFL求作文批改~谢谢各位亲~

SonicConan

TPO-23的题目：In today's world, it is more important to work quickly and risk making mistakes than to work slowly and make sure that everything is correct.

写作思路：最近思路枯竭的很，所以就想不出什么太好的例子。这题目刚看到的时候就觉得实在举不出例子，但是其实怎么写都可以。然后突然想到了最近Win 8让人非常之不爽，于是乎就只用了这1个例子写了这个文章。内容的话，肯定有夸大其词的地方和不真实的地方，但是逻辑上应该不会有太大的硬伤吧。这种写法也是第一次尝试，还请各位多多点评。谢谢！

216就要去HK考了~心里还在忐忑中~

Today's world is developing faster than it was many years ago. Many new items are invited in a rapid speed and an increasing number of people believe that it is more important to work quickly and risk making mistakes than to work slowly and make sure that everything is correct. However, as far as I am concerned, this idea may not work well and probably causing many issues.


First, I would like to take Microsoft as an example. As you probably know, the competition in PC and Pad area is really keen and since the innovation of iPad by Apple and many other similar products from Samsung, Lenevo and IBM, Microsoft starting to lose its marketing share and its position as the leader of this area is threatened. To change this situation, Microsoft started its development of the new operation system, which is known as Windows 8. The windows 8 aims to combine the operation systems for PC and Pad which were usually separated (Windows 7, Mactonish OS X are for PC while iOS, Android and Windows Mobile are for Pad) and the management team hopes that will bring Microsoft back to the top.


But the technology to combine the operation system for PC and Pad is not mature enough and users' experiences are not fully considered during the development. To get back the market share back as early as possible, Microsoft's R&D team work quickly and many of things are ignored during the process. When Windows 8 finally presented in front of the consumers, they got confused about the positioning of the new operation system and the sytem is not working as smoothly as it was campaigned. Users didn't got better experience when using the new system and they even felt it is inconvenient to use the new Windows 8 replacing any of their previous systems, no matter the Windows 7, iOS or Android. From the above example, we can hardly conclude that is is more important to work quickly and risk making mistakes than work slowly and make sure that everything is correct.


There is another example that indicates work slowly and make sure that everything is correct could benefit a company. The iOS has been developed for more than 3 years, fully considered all aspects of user experience. The size the phone, icon design, screen slash feeling and the business eco-system for App developers are all fully considered, which make the iPhone one of the most successful smart phone in the history. What is more, from its updating, we can always feel that the team of Apple always make sure that everything is correct and that increase the impression of users.


In conclusion, though work quickly and risk making mistakes may sometimes help a company to be successful, it is more critical to work slowly and ensure everything is correct.

Saku411

我也是明天考 HK 加油~

Saku411

第一句不妨用has been developing in an amazingly faster pace than ever in recent years 另外第二句是invent而不是invite吧 下面字太多 没看了
2月3号香港的作文是让讨论用什么方式保持健康 食物 运动 减压三选一 做个参考 我只写了400字29分 分给的比较松~ 不用紧张

SonicConan

你连着考的吗？我昨天在荃湾考的，你呢？

Saku411

我也是荃湾的 应该是同一个考场 很喜欢那个麦啊 口语感觉很好 可是阅读和作文就糟糕了=（ 你呢

SonicConan

我在Zone A。就是楼梯右手边那里~我觉得题目不算很难。我口语和综合写作发挥的一般