新人报道，求指导！！！

lihaolan

2.4独立写作
When assigned to finish writing about an important presentation, it’s not uncommon that a number of people prefer to wait until they have a good idea about it. They argue that only if they have a good perspective of the presentation will they accomplish the work perfectly. However, as for me, I am in favor of staring working on it right away ,which based not only on personal preference but on sufficient reasons.

First and foremost, the results of waiting for a good idea are always terrible because you always feel there is enough time for me to complete this assignment, which always turns out to be false. How can you imagine a person without pressure can finish his work with a high quality. When I was young , my parents always tell me that whenever you have work unfinished , just working on it right now. If you constantly put off it, you will have no time to achieve it well at last. Actually, waiting for a good idea is just like an excuse for your laziness. Does it mean that once you have no idea about your presentation, you have no obligation to finish it? The answer is obvious. Therefore, I’d like to work on it right away so that time will not be wasted.

Further, It is also a favorable method to obtain good idea about your work by staring working on it. No one can deny the fact that practice is sometimes more crucial than thinking or waiting which may be day dreaming in the end. Without diligent working, only by thinking, I cannot imagine that a people could have an admirable idea about his presentation. Moreover, A good writing about presentation is not only reliance on amazing idea, but also the numerous modification. Even if you don’t have a wonderful idea, you also can accomplish your writing excellent by industrial working. I am totally convinced that hard-working can make up the shortage of the idea or talent. A good idea largely depends on individual talent, which we cannot change even through you use much more time to think. On the contrary, the skills of writing and expression can be obtained by diligent modification, which requires you to begin to work immediately.

Last but not least, after we finish the assignment in advance, we can have more spare time to have totally relaxation. Whereas, you must be worried if you have assignment unfinished which always leads to a disappointed entertainment. Waiting for a satisfactory idea can make you anxious about the writing all the day ,which may even cause insomnia. It is like a vicious circle –with a bad sleep, you are bound to work inefficiently. Therefore , the best way to prevent this miserable outcome is to finish the assignment that remains to be done immediately. Also, if you finish the assignment in advance, you will be free from the pressure. How cheerful it is, isn’t it? Maybe some people prefer to spend a long time on conceiving because of their consideration. Although everyone is different in characters, from my perspective, the advantages of working on the writing right now obviously outweigh its disadvantage. So why not make up your mind to work on it now?

From what we have discussed above, it is reasonable to choose to star working on writing right now, which will not only promote the quality of my assignment but also enable me to have more time to totally relax myself.

lihaolan

2.5 号独立写作
It is no doubt that teachers should be respected for their industrious dedication to youngsters. A growing number of adults are beginning to question that nowadays students don’t respect their teachers as much as in the past. However, I believe they are misguided by few media that always brows things out of proportion. As far as I am concerned, the teenagers are still been misunderstood by the society. I have a numerous evidence to support my opinion.

First and foremost, the meaning about respect has changed as the time goes by. In the past, our parents or grandparents believe that the respect is to obey whatever teachers said, while at present it is not uncommon that students are challenge their teachers’ perspective at class, which doesn’t mean disrespect. Teachers and students are equal in the academic field, therefore students obviously have right to express their disagreement, which however is concerned as disrespect by the media and parents. Although sometimes the method we used to express our disagreement is unsuitable, we are still respect our teachers in the deep.

Further, from what I experienced, I feel that in China students respect their teachers as much as their parents. In the teachers’ day , my classmate including me always make some small gifts by ourselves to deliver our gratitude about their work and dedication. Moreover, after we graduated, we often go back to school to visit our teachers during the holiday and talk about our present life or studies, which clearly shows that we still remember their dedication and respect them rather than forget what they did for us. We love our teachers no less than our parents .

Last but not latest, the media nowadays always focus on the peccadillo youngsters make and, even worse, they repeatedly report these things, which lead to more and more adults believing that all the students don’t respect their teachers. A study shows that if you constantly repeat report a fact, people will think the possibility of that happens is greater than its genuine possibilities. Therefore the media should be blame rather than students.

All in all, it is clearly that students are being misunderstood by the society and they are truly respect the teachers, the people who always care about them. And I beat that they won’t forget their teachers forever, no matter that they are severe or benevolent.

cleotina

1，逻辑方面，分论点的论述有点乱。建议多举例，这样老外喜欢。
2，时态和单复数的问题是老外比较敏感的，也是我们比较容易改正的，以后注意啦。

lihaolan

2.6号独立写作
In today’s society, it is essential to listen to others’ advice in order to success, especially in a team. Therefore, I am totally convinced that people who cannot accept the criticism from others will not be successful at working in a group. It is not only based on the illusion but also a wide verity of evidence.

First and foremost, accepting criticism from others will promote team spirit, which, as far as I am concerned, is crucial to one’s success. If the members of the group all hold different perspective and are reluctant to accept others’ opinions, the efficiency of the individual will undoubtedly decrease. Many examples in the daily life tell us team spirit is an essential ingredient of a successful group. For instance, I have ever been a member of a group to prepare for the celebration of our high school’s anniversary. I remember that my teammates always communicate with each other and are willing to accept the criticism of others. The bound of the group is also tighten during the constant interaction. Finally, it turns out to be a brilliant celebration.

Further, we can obtain a wealth of nutrient and inspiration from others’ criticism. We should respect everyone’s perspective, especially the teammates. I believe that everyone in the group is eager to make team better. Therefore, the criticism from them has been deliberately considered. Even the criticism has no fact to support, I think it also can raise our awareness of adversity and not be confused by the temporary success. Whatever the situation is, a critic is an indispensable part of a team, who can direct our team to a right way. If we don’t care about their suggestion, their pension will lose and we may also be lost in the journey.

Last but not latest, no one can deny the fact that people willing to accept criticism are always confident at themselves. They are not afraid of questioning. On the contrary, those who are reluctant to consider others’ advice have little confidence and tolerance. people lack of confidence and perseverance are unlikely to success in fierce competition. Moreover, accepting criticism gives a positive signal to society –I am open-minded and willing to change. If a person is adverse to change ,it is bound to lose. I cannot imagine the Apple Inc will continue dominating the market if they don’t have new invention and breakthrough, which is the same to the individual.

From what we discuss above, disadvantages of not accepting criticism obviously outweigh its advantages. I am sure that people who don’t consider others’ criticism at all are bound to lose the competitive edge in a group which makes success impossible.

lihaolan

独立写作2.5
SMS和libertine互改
perfectends改tsyxyss
tsyxyss 改lihaolan
lihaolan改perfectends

tsyxyss

2.5 号独立写作 改
It is nodoubt that teachers should be respected for their industrious dedication to youngsters. A growingnumber of adults are beginning to question argue that nowadays students don’t respecttheir teachers as much as in the past. However, I believe they are misguided by few media that arealways brows(名词) frowning things out ofproportion. As far asI am concerned, the teenagers are still been being misunderstood by the society. I have anumerous evidence to support my opinion.

First andforemost, the meaning about respect has changed as the time goes by. In thepast, our parents or grandparents believe that the respect is to obey whateverteachers said, while at present it is not uncommon that students are challengetheir teachers’ perspective at class, which doesn’t mean disrespect. Teachersand students are equal in the academic field, therefore students obviously haveright to express their disagreement, which however is concerned as disrespectby the media and parents. Although sometimes the method we used to express ourdisagreement is unsuitable, we are still respect our teachers in the deep.

Further,from what I experienced, I feel that in China students respect their teachersas much as their parents do. In the teachers’ day , my classmates including me always make some small gifts by ourselves todeliver our gratitude about their work and dedication. Moreover, after wegraduated, we often go back to school to visit our teachers during the holidayand talk about our present life or studies, which clearly shows that we stillremember their dedication and respect them rather than forget what they did forus. We love our teachers no less than our parents .

Last butnot latest, the media nowadays always focus on the peccadillo youngsters make and, even worse,they repeatedly report these things, which lead to more and more adultsbelieving that all the students don’t respect their teachers. A study showsthat if you constantly repeat reporting a fact,people will think the possibility of that happens is greater than its genuinepossibilities. Therefore， the media should be blame rather thanstudents.

All inall, it is clearly that students are being misunderstood by the society andthey are truly respect the teachers, the people who always care about them. And I beat that theywon’t forget their teachers forever, no matter that whether they are severe or benevolent.

perfectends

In today’s society, it is essential to listen to others’ advice in order to success, especially in a team. Therefore, I am totally convinced that people who cannot accept the criticism from others will not be successful at working in a group.It is not only based on the illusion but also a wide verity of evidence.整个开头简介有力，赞。末句这个好强大，模板麽？

First and foremost, accepting criticism from others willpromote team spirit, which,as far as I am concerned,插入语使用 is crucial to one’s success. If the members of the group all hold different perspective and are reluctant to accept others’ opinions, the efficiency of the individual will undoubtedly decrease. Many examples in the daily life tell us team spirit is an essential ingredient of a successful group. For instance, I have ever been a member of a group to prepare for the celebration of our high school’s anniversary. I remember that my teammates always communicate with each other and are willing to accept the criticism of others. Thebound of the group is also tighten during the constant interaction.--这句论点也很好 Finally, it turns out to be a brilliantcelebration.

Further, we can obtain a wealth of nutrient比喻都用了，高and inspiration from others’ criticism. We should respect everyone’s perspective, especially the teammates. I believe that everyone in the group is eager to make team better. Therefore, the criticism from them has been deliberately considered. Even the criticism has no fact to support, I think it also can raise our awareness of adversity and not be confusedtoo proud of by the temporary success.（感觉用confuse不妥，中文说被眼前的成功‘迷惑’，英文好像还是说过于骄傲于眼前的成功比较到位吧。） Whatever the situation is, a critic is an indispensable part of a team, who can direct our team to a right way. If we don’t care about their suggestion, their pension will lose and we may also be lost in the journey.

Last but not latest, no one can deny the fact that people willing to accept criticism are always confident at themselves. They are not afraid of questioning. On the contrary, those who are reluctant to consider others’ advice have little confidence and tolerance. Ppeople (忘记大写了)lack of confidence and perseverance are unlikely to success in fierce competition. Moreover, accepting criticism gives a positive signal to society –I am open-minded and willing to change.破折号的解释说明运用比较少看到，而且很到位啊If a person is adverse to change ,it is bound to lose. I cannot imagine the Apple Inc will continue dominating the market if they don’t have new invention and breakthrough, which is the same to the individual.

From what we discuss above, disadvantages of not accepting criticism obviously outweigh its advantages. I am sure that people who don’t consider others’ criticism at all are bound to lose the competitive edge in a group which makes success impossible.


说明：红色--修改，错误；蓝色--建议；黄色--赞（高亮怎么不显示啊，害我一个一个对照在这里又高亮一遍）

文笔真好：干练；几乎没有语法错误；连比喻和破折号解释说明的手法都用了。逻辑也没什么问题。感觉应该高分作文啊，是先G后T麽？我很好奇楼主这水平会是多少分撒~



抱歉今天有些不舒服批得比较缓慢，本来打算一早给你补批的。我的给你改之前刚写好~ 不想吃午饭了，头疼，睡会。

lihaolan

我第一次考得很水。。这一年都在准备lsat考试。。。就是法学院的考试，觉得阅读进步不少。考完之后再准备考一次托福！！第一次我作文才21好像！！加油！！

lihaolan

2.8号独立写作
Which do you prefer? The movies and TV programs made in our country or abroad? With the influx of an increasing number of foreign movies and TV programs, some people consider that the domestic movies and programs are less simulating than those made in other countries. However, I believe that although it is the fact that the industries of movies and TV programs have been struck, the quality of the movies and TV programs is still distinguished. Therefore ,Ihold fast that the entertainment of our own movies and TV programs superior to those made overseas ,which will be supported by plenty of evidence.

First and foremost, the differences between the culture are still significant, which will obstacle the enjoyment of foreign movies and TV programs. On the contrary, the domestic movies and TV programs can be understood without efforts. For instance, Chinese always speaks in an obscure way, while American prefers to express perspective definitely. We sometimes cannot catch the points of the movies or TV programs made by foreigners because of the enormous gap between the cultures. Moreover, the environment as well as the development of technology is also various from the countries. I cannot imagine that an African can fully understand the American life, let alone the amazement of their movies and TV programs.

Further, because of a wide range of languages, it also arduous for us to understand the foreign movies and TV programs. Although there is translation, I don’t think the translation is good enough to confer us all the massages of movies and TV programs. For example, many idioms are formidable to translate. Only with the solid foundation of certain language will you fully understand to interests of the movies and TV programs. Considering that we are well-acquainted with our own language, no one can deny the fact we can easily be moved by domestic movies and TV programs.

Last but not least, the focus of the movies and TV programs is primary on the local people rather than overseas. It is not uncommon that they do not consider the need of foreigners, which always cannot trigger the interests of the people from other countries. But those made in local always fit the taste of their people, and therefore are usually regarded as amazing and simulating.

All in all, as far as I am concerned, the advantages of movies and TV programs made by ourselves outweigh those produced by other countries. So it is no doubt that the domestic movies and TV programs are more simulating and delightful.

lihaolan

2.10 独立写作
People with growing number believe that because of the drastic development of modern society, it is not necessary to understand the past in order to address the problems of the present and future. However, they fail take into account many crucial fact, such as the nutrient that we can obtain from past, the eternal truth and similar situation. Therefore, I am totally convinced that it is an essential process to tackle the trouble by understanding the past.

First and foremost, the nutrient that we can gain from the pat has never changed. We can understand the wisdom of ancestors which is indispensable for nowadays’ success by knowing the past. No one can deny the fact that we all live in a society which is built on the knowledge inherited from the past. For instance, the medical science, we cannot develop the modern medical industry without the comprehension of the past.

Further, the adversities are always the same as the past in spite of the dramatic development. Economic crisis has taken place every few years. The method that formal president Roosevelt used to combat the Great Depression is bound to help the present president Obama to face the economic crisis since 2008. In addition, many criminal problems also happened in the past. There are many great experience of the past we can draw on. Once we insolate ourselves from the past , we will lose the most reliable supporter.

Last but not least, although the society has changed greatly, there is something unchangeable. Many people are misguided by the appearance of the city. Admittedly, there are more skyscrapers and modern transportations as well as the high-speed internet. However, the nature of the society doesn’t change. We all have carving for justice, equality and discipline, which is the long-term goal of human. The conflicts also remain constantly from the past between the rich and the poor, the governments and the residents. Only by understanding the past will we thoroughly solve these problems.

All in all, we must realize that the present cannot be separated from the past. A great number of troubles have taken place over and over again. Therefore , it is no doubt that in order to handle the problems nowadays we must turn to the past.