Tanya‘s essays

Tanyar

Thanks for your help and time. ~o(∩_∩)o~

如果批，请狠批。

Tanyar

2.2 Independent writing

Do youagree or disagree with the following statement?
Students can get as many benefits fromorganization or club activities as they can get from their academic studies

In order to stand the increasingly fierce social competition, students currently are no longer confined to classrooms and totally engaged into academic studies. Instead, they can take part in organization or club activities as alternatives. As far as I am concerned, those extracurricular activities are at least no less beneficial than academic studies because they contribute to sociability, helpful experience as well as both psychological and physical health.

First of all, frequent organization and club activities enable students to make more friends with various backgrounds who can offer them unexpected scope of life and grateful help when students encounter into trouble. Without those social contacts, students can only be familiar with their own classmates and thus neglect the fact that there is a more wonderful world outside beyond their imagination to explore. Also, organization or club activities can help students develop their social skills and learn to interact with strangers, which is essential for them to establish their career after graduation. For example, if a student is excellent at academic studies but does not know how to fully introduce himself to a potential employer, he may lose a golden opportunity to present his talents.

In the second place, students can gain valuable experience related to their intended work and thus achieve a competitive advantage over other rivals. For example, a student who aspires to become an English teacher can get a chance to practice his teaching skills by participating in English club and volunteering to teach those in need of an English teacher. However, if he only concentrates on English teaching theories, his practical skills can be hardly recognized by employers.

Last but not least, organization and club activities make it possible for students to develop their interests and relieve themselves from heavy study. Through those extracurricular activities, students can choose whatever they are interested in. For example, a sport fan can take basketball club; a girl obsessed in songs can join music club. These activities can help them deal with stress and are beneficial for students’ physical and psychological health, thus resulting in more efficient academic studies.

According to the analysis above, we should never underestimate organization and club activities’ importance for students. They benefit students in different aspects from academic studies. Only balance those extracurricular activities with academic studies, can students learn in efficient ways, lay a solid foundation for further career and get a full appreciation of life.

Tanyar

2.2 Integrated Writing

TPO 10

The passage and the lecturer debate on the cause of sea otter populations declining off the Alaskan coast. The former regards pollution hypothesis as a more likely explanation while the lecturer, on the contrary, stand for predator hypothesis.

First of all, the lecturer claims that the pollution hypotheses is weakened by the evidence that there are few dead sea otters found, which contradicts the fact that if sea otters die from poisonous chemicals, they must be found in sea water. Actually, the predator hypothesis is exactly in consistent with this evidence because if sea otters are eaten by predators, it is no wonder that we cannot find any trace of their dead body.

In the second place, it is true that orcas generally prefer to hunt larger prey suggested in the reading material. However, when larger prey is unavailable, orcas must change their diet to adapt to the environment, as the lecturer says. So along the Alaskan coast, where smaller prey abounds, the orcas have to eat sea otters to survive. The change of orca's diet can also account for the declining of other small sea mammals such as seals and sea lions.

Last but not least, the professor contends that predator hypothesis rather than the pollution one is a better explanation for the uneven patter of otter decline. Contrary to the pollution hypothesis’s explanation that uneven concentrations of pollutants result in this occurrence, the predator hypothesis indicates the otter populations declined greatly in locations which are more accessible to orcas while some inaccessible shallow locations for large orcas are precisely the area where sea otter populations have not declined.

Tanyar

2.3 Independent Writing

Do you agree or disagree with the followingstatement?
Working at home using computers or telephones isbetter than working in the office.


The modern technology has advanced to the point where telecommunication can sweep through every corner of the world. So was born the SOHO, which represents a group of people working at home using computers or telephones. It is true that this kind of approach possesses particular advantages. But as far as I am concerned, SOHO can never replace the traditional way of working and outperform working in the office.

To begin with, some work can only be assigned to employees working in the office. For example, a secretary has to be ready to assist his manager at any office hours. If he works at home, his manager will not be able to hand him some paper files instantly, resulting in the inefficiency and inconvenience. Working at home only applies to individual jobs such as editors, IT profession and artists whereas working in the office has no limitation. Therefore, office workers have an edge over home workers considering the range of occupations.

Even though we only talk about jobs suitable for working at home, working in the offices is superior to doing at home in terms of sociability. Human are social beings; we all need friends and social life to satisfy our basic demands. However, working at home isolates people from society and thus exerts a negative effect on workers’ psychological health. For example, by working at home using computers or telephones, we are prone to feel alone and fail to pour out our emotions. On the contrary, if we work in the office, we can make friends with colleagues and participate in social activities.

In addition to available social contact, working in the office also contributes to high efficiency. In the office, people work under necessary stress to drive them finish their tasks at hand while they are more likely to be distracted at home, failing to devote themselves wholeheartedly to work. For example, I have once tried to write a work report at home because of the comfortable environment. However, despite of several hours’ effort, I still didn’t finish the beginning paragraph and just couldn’t concentrate on the project. Finally, I spent an hour in the office to complete it.

According to the analysis above, the conclusion that working at home does not outperform working in the office is inescapable. In fact, working in the office has advantages over doing at home in some ways such as working range, sociability and efficiency. Anyway, the best approach lies in the way fitting in you most.

Tanyar

2.3 Integrated Writing

TPO 11

The passage presents three negative effects of declining reading of literature. However, the professor casts doubt on the arguments made in passage and refutes them word by word.

First of all, the passage contends that less literature reading results in less intellectual stimulations whereas the professor points out that besides literature, other books related to science, history, philosophy and so on are of high quality and can stimulate imagination as well. So readers can be compensated from reading those books even though they miss the benefits of literature.

Second, contrary to the statement in the reading material that diverting time of reading literature to movies, music or Web page will lower the level of culture, the professor argues that those newly-emerging entertainment forms indicate a change of culture. In fact, excellent music and movies contribute to the progress of culture because artists can express them more fully with vivid motion pictures or beautiful melody. (此处原因听得不准确，应该是更直接联系contemporary life)

Last, the reading material suggests that as a result of the trend of reading less literature, fewer literature writers are supported by the publishers, which further leads to less wonderful literature work created. However, the professor claims that writer themselves should be to blame for such a vicious circle because their books are difficult for readers to understand.

Tanyar

2.4 Independent Writing

1.When you areassigned to finish writing about an important presentation in a month, whichway do you prefer?
A. To startworking on it right away.
B. Wait untilyou have a good idea about it.

Personally, I would like to start working on writing right away in face of an important presentation. I have got solid reasons to account for my choice because I used to be a procrastinator who always waits until the last minute to finish the tasks with the lack of inspiration as an excuse. Then I have changed my behavior and benefited a lot from the immediate action.

First of all, good idea will never occur to you unless you look for it initially. When I prepared for an important presentation before, I always got the ridiculous illusion that I could be inspired by chance. However, it turns out that I just forget the presentation as time goes by. Whereas, by starting work right away, I can obtain wonderful inspirations from the related materials I research, even though I may have no idea at the beginning of preparation.

In the second place, immediate working makes it possible for me to gain enough time for an important presentation. Previously, I mistakenly believed that a month was too long for me to finish writing. However once I started working, I realized that there was more preparation to do than I had expected. Besides, a satisfactory writing should be revised several times, whether by yourself or by others. For example, I may have finished my first draft at the first week, but I need to review it every three days to perfectly finalize my writing. If you are seeking for advice from friends or teachers, you have got more reasons to finish the work in advance.

Last but not least, immediate action can relieve my pressure to make a presentation. If I have finished the preparation early, I will be more confident about my performance and get rid of anxiety. Also, finishing writing in time enables me to deal with some unexpected emergencies calmly and spare time for other preparation work such as designing PPT and reciting.

All in all, starting working right away is always my preference for an important presentation after I have failed so many times to make an excellent one as a procrastinator. At present, I am aware that working instead of waiting is undoubtedly the exact approach to inspiration and success.

Tanyar

2.4 Integrated Writing

TPO 12

The passage presents three evidences to illustrate a painting for sale as the portrait of Jan Austen when she was a teenager. However, the professor regards these evidences in the passage unconvincing and refutes them word by word.

First of all, although in 1882 Austen's family offered a portrait of Jane, it occured nearly seventy years after Jane's death, as the professor points out. At that time, none of the family members actually saw Jane by themselves and thus the painting they offered cannot be assured as a portrait of Jane Austen.

Second, despite of the statement in the passage that the face in the portrait resembles the one in Cassandra's sketch, the professor claims that Jane Austen was in an extended family and it was no wonder that other girls might look like Jane. In fact, some researchers suggest that the woman in the portrait is a distant niece of Jane Austen.

Last, it is true that the painting possesses a style of Ozias Humphrey, which is one of the evidences in passage. However the canvas of the portrait contradicts with the reading's view because it was found that this kind of canvas came from a man named William who only started selling canvas when Jane Austen was 27 years old while the painting shows a teenager girl.

perfectends

The modern technology has advanced to the point where telecommunication can sweep through every corner of the world. （这首句眼前一亮撒）So was born the SOHO, which represents a group of people working at home using computers or telephones. It is true that this kind of approach possesses particular advantages. But as far as I am concerned, SOHO can never replace the traditional way of working and outperform working in the office.

To begin with, some work can only be assigned to employees working in the office. For example, a secretary has to be ready to assist his manager at any office hours. If he works at home, his manager will not be able to hand him some paper files instantly, resulting in the inefficiency and inconvenience. Working at home(感觉这里应该加can）only applies to individual jobs such as editors, IT profession and artists whereas working in the office has no limitation. Therefore, office workers have an edge over home workers considering the range of occupations. 太强了，这段观点很好，句型和词汇也不错，结构也相当完整。我这篇写起来没感觉不知道写什么理由好都。

Even though we only talk about jobs suitable for working at home, working in the offices issuperior to doing at home in terms of sociability. Human are social beings; we all need friends and social life to satisfy our basic (建议改成emotional） demands. However, working at home isolates people from society and thus exerts a negative effect on workers’ psychological health. For example, by working at home using computers or telephones, we are prone to feel alone and fail to pour out our emotions. On the contrary, if we work in the office, we can make friends with colleagues and participate in social activities.

In addition to available social contact, working in the office also contributes to high efficiency. In the office, people work under necessary stress to drive them finish their tasks at hand while they are more likely to be distracted at home, failing to devote themselves wholeheartedly to work. For example, I have once tried to write a work report at home because of the comfortable environment. However, despite of several hours’ effort, I still didn’t finish the beginning paragraph and just couldn’t concentrate on the project. Finally, I spent an hour in the office to complete it.

According to the analysis above, the conclusion that working at home does not outperform working in the office is inescapable. In fact, working in the office has advantages over doing at home in some ways such as working range, sociability and efficiency.总结很精到Anyway, the best approach lies in the way fitting in you most. 读到最后一句，彻底被你折服了。





仁兄功底很好啊：感觉你没有刻意找模板，它已经早已溶化在你心中了；你的句子都非常干脆利索，却不失句型的丰富；词汇没有很多大词难词，但是有很多很精准的高分词；文章的段内和段间结构也非常好，首段，尾段都非常好，每一段的论述在逻辑清晰的前提下用了不同手法展开，层层推进。

语法没有错误；词汇方面只提了一点建议。你这是刚练啊，艾玛，学习了。。。

tsyxyss

2.3 Independent Writing

The moderntechnology has advanced to the point wheretelecommunication can sweepthrough every corner of the world. So was born the SOHO, which represents a group ofpeople working at home using computers or telephones. It is true that this kindof approach possesses particular advantages. But as far as I am concerned, SOHO （建议用telecommuting) can never replace the traditional way ofworking and outperform working in the office.

To begin with, some work can only be assigned toemployees working in the office. For example, a secretary has to be ready toassist his manager at any office hours. If he works at home, his manager willnot be able to hand him some paper files instantly, resulting in theinefficiency and inconvenience. Working at home only applies to individual jobssuch as editors, IT profession and artists whereas working in the office has nolimitation. Therefore, office workers have an edge over home workers considering therange of occupations.

Even though we onlytalk about Aside from some jobs only suitable for working at home office, which I mentionabove, working in the offices is also superior to doing at home in terms ofsociability. Human are social beings; we all need friends and social life tosatisfy our basic demands. However, working at home subsequently isolatespeople from society and thus exertsa negative effect on workers’ psychological health. For example, byworking at home using computers or telephones, we are prone to feel alone lonely and fail topour out our emotions. On the contrary, if we work in the office, we can makefriends with colleagues and participate in social activities.

In addition to available accessible socialcontact in office, working in the office also contributes tohigh efficiency. In the office, people work under necessary stress to drivethem finish their tasks at hand while they are more likely to be distracted athome, failing to devote themselves wholeheartedly to work. For example, I have once tried to writea work report at home because of for the sake of the comfortable environment. However, despiteof several hours’ effort, I still didn’t did not finish the beginning paragraph and justcouldn’t concentrate on the project. Finally, without choices, I had to spent spend an hour in the office tocomplete it.

According to the analysis above, the conclusionthat working at home does not outperform working in the office is inescapable.In fact, working in the office has advantages over doing at home in some wayssuch as working range, sociability and efficiency. Anyway, the best approach lies inthe way fitting in you most.
楼主功底不错，继续努力，部分词还需斟酌。整体不错。

tsyxyss

2.3Integrated Writing

The passage presents three negative effects ofdeclining reading of literature. However, the professor casts doubt on thearguments made in passage and refutes them word by word.

First of all, the passage contends that lessliterature reading results in less intellectual stimulations whereas theprofessor points out that besides literature, other books related to science,history, philosophy and so on are of high quality and can stimulate imaginationas well. So readers can be compensated from reading those books even thoughthey miss the benefits of literature.

Second, contrary to the statement in the readingmaterial that diverting time of reading literature to movies, music or Web pagewill lower the level of culture, the professor argues that those newly-emergingentertainment forms indicate a change of culture. In fact, excellent music andmovies contribute to the progress of culture because artists can express themmore fully with vivid motion pictures or beautiful melody. (此处原因听得不准确，应该是更直接联系contemporary life)应该是提供cultural material

Last, the reading material suggests that as aresult of the trend of reading less literature, fewer literature writers aresupported by the publishers, which further leads to less wonderful literaturework created. However, the professor claims that writer themselves should be toblame for such a vicious circle because their books are difficult for readersto understand.
整体可以，应把reading部分在概括下就好了，还有应多些细节。