再战arugument 38求点评！

dedede1

听了上次普渡哥和版主的建议，回去看了范文，然后对着范文又写了一遍arugument 38，希望能得到点评。谢谢！不胜感激。。。
字数545

 It might seem reasonable, at first glance ,to agree with the argument in vice president of Sartorian’s memo that they should resume their alpaca overcoat production and the coat will sell very well to increase their profits. However, in order to fully evaluate this argument, we need to have a significant amount of additional evidence. The argument could end up being much weaker than it seems, or it might actually be quite valid. In order to make that determination, we need to know more then analyze what we learn.

    The first piece of evidence that we would need to evaluate vice president’s claim is the reason why their major competitor no longer makes an alpaca overcoat. there are a lot of reasons why their major competitor no longer makes an alpaca overcoat, it could be their competitor got into trouble and broke down. If this is the reason why their major competitor no longer makes alpaca overcoat, It would certainly strengthen vice president’s argument because there will be a pent-up customer demand. But it also could be the customer demand for alpaca overcoat decrease over the 5 years so that their competitor stop making it. In this case, the evidence would certainly weaken vice president’s claim. So long as we don't know how the customer demand changes, we can't draw a conclusion that there will be pent-up customer demand just by knowing their major competitor no longer makes alpaca overcoat.
Another piece of evidence that might help us to evaluate this claim is that what are the prices for alpaca overcoat instead of most types clothing that customers are willing to pay. Even though the price of most types of clothing has increased in each of the past five years, but it is not plausible to say that customers should be willing to pay significantly higher prices for alpaca overcoat because we don't know whether customers favor every clothing equally or not and perhaps the alpaca overcoat is that kind of clothing which don't belong to "most types of clothing" list. So if most types clothing has increased it’s price but overcoat didn’t, then in this case it would undoubtedly weaken vice president’s claim.
   
    In order to fully evaluate this claim, we also need to know the costs of each alpaca overcoat, since profits not only has to do with the price that the customers willing to pay but also the cost of the product. If the price has increased and the costs has decreased or stayed still, then the profit will increase if they begin to make alpaca overcoat and in this case, the vice presidents claim will certainly be strengthened. But without knowing the costs of alpaca overcoat, it is hard to accept vice president’s claim.
   
     Clearly, then, we need to have additional evidence in order to get a more complete understanding of the strengths and weaknesses of vice president’s claim about resume production. We need to know about the reason why their major competitor no longer makes the alpaca overcoat so that we can understand the changes in customer demand and we need to know the price of alpaca overcoat that customer are willing to pay and the costs of alpaca overcoat so that we can know the profit of this product.

普渡哥

看上去好多了。