wsxz007 作业贴 作文啊作文 你跟我和好吧……求你了 1.27求拍砖

wsxz007

19 January
Independent Writingo you agree or disagree with the following statement:Economic growth seems to be more important than environmental concerns.


With the development of  the globe economic, more and more government and people begin to concern about the environment, while the others argue that, the economic growth is more important the nature environment. In my opinion, there is no doubt that environment is the most important not only for human being but also for the animal and others in the earth. Human beings should not develop the economic at the cost of the environment destroyed.

To begin with, environment is the basic of the continuing the development for the globe, include the economic. With no good environment there is no increase of the economic, which is the principle of the development. When I was a child, the sky in my hometown is so blue and the sunshine is so bright, even though the economic is not very well at that time, but people is always happy and health about the good environment. Now, such the haze destroy the air in most of our country, which make people worried for a long time and scared of the outside action what is their favorite before.

From the continuing development of the economic, the goal of the economic and the improvement is to live better, in an other word to live in  a better environment. We can say that the goal of the development of the economic is to create a better and more suitable environment for human beings. In conclusion, we should give more concern to the environment today than the economic.

Last but not least, the destroy of the nature is can not be restored, which is the largest cost of the over development of the economic. As we all know that, the economic development basis on the resource of the nature that had to be stored under the earth for a long long time even before the emergence of human beings. Once it be exhausted people can never to find it again.
All in all, the environment should be concern by all of the world. Although we should develop the globe economic in a reasonable and continuing way, in order to be harmonious coexistence with nature.

verchieldan

19 January
Independent Writingo you agree or disagree with the following statement:Economic growth seems to be more important than environmental concerns.


With the development of the globe(global) economic, more and more government and people begin to concern about the environment.While while the others argue that, the economic growth is more important than the nature natural environment. In my opinion, there is no doubt that environment is the most important not only for human being but also for the animal and others in the earth. Human beings should not develop the economic at the cost of the environment destroyed (environment destruction or destroying the environment).

To begin with, protect environment is the basic (factor or aspect) of the continuing development for the globe, include the economic(经济包含在环境里面？好像说不通啊). With no good environment there is no increase of the economic, which is the principle of the development. When I was a child, the sky in my hometown is so blue and the sunshine is so bright, even though the economic is not very well at that time, but（even through 或者but 去掉一个） people are always happy and health about(health about the environment?) the good environment. Now, such the haze destroy the air(破坏空气？或者用污染空气是不是更好？) in most areas of our country, which make people worried for a long time and scared of the outside action(害怕户外活动？最好害怕户外活动影响身体健康，简洁一点可以是recude the frequency of taking outdoor activities ) what is was their favorite before.不知楼主的这段举例是不是想要写最近的污染，可以罗列一些PM2.5数值和一些中毒污染区域，这样好像比较清楚，也比较好写。

From （这个介词想要表达什么？是从经济可持续的观点来看吗？）the concept of continuing development of the economic, the goal of the economic developing and the improvement is to live better, in another  word, to live in a better environment. We can say that the goal of the development of the economic is to create a better and more suitable environment for human beings.(此句和前一句重复) In conclusion, we should give more concern to the environment today than the economic.这一段只是阐述了可持续发展这一概念，可以再充实一下。

Last but not least, the destructioin of the nature can not be restored(nature can not be recovered by the serious destruction), which(which 不能指代整个句子) is the largest cost of the over development of the economic. As we all know that, the economic development is based on the resource of the nature that had to be stored under the earth for a long time before the emergence (这个词出现得很奇怪，最好解释一下)of human beings. Once it be exhausted people can never to find it again.
All in all, the environment should be concern by the entire world. Although（尽管？）we should develop the globe global economic in a reasonable and continuing way, in order to be harmonious coexistence(好词！) with nature.最后一句逻辑不对啊，尽管要发展，是为了和谐共存？楼主在结尾处这种显眼的地方多注意哈




不知楼主的这段举例是不是想要写最近的污染，可以罗列一些PM2.5数值和一些中毒污染区域，这样好像比较清楚，也比较好写。

From （这个介词想要表达什么？是从经济可持续的观点来看吗？）the concept of continuing development of the economic, the goal of the economic developing and the improvement is to live better, in another  word, to live in a better environment. We can say that the goal of the development of the economic is to create a better and more suitable environment for human beings.(此句和前一句重复) In conclusion, we should give more concern to the environment today than the economic.这一段只是阐述了可持续发展这一概念，可以再充实一下。

Last but not least, the destructioin of the nature can not be restored(nature can not be recovered by the serious destruction), which(which 不能指代整个句子) is the largest cost of the over development of the economic. As we all know that, the economic development is based on the resource of the nature that had to be stored under the earth for a long time before the emergence (这个词出现得很奇怪，最好解释一下)of human beings. Once it be exhausted people can never to find it again.
All in all, the environment should be concern by the entire world. Although（尽管？）we should develop the globe global economic in a reasonable and continuing way, in order to be harmonious coexistence(好词！) with nature.最后一句逻辑不对啊，尽管要发展，是为了和谐共存？楼主在结尾处这种显眼的地方多注意哈



这一段只是阐述了可持续发展这一概念，可以再充实一下。

Last but not least, the destructioin of the nature can not be restored(nature can not be recovered by the serious destruction), which(which 不能指代整个句子) is the largest cost of the over development of the economic. As we all know that, the economic development is based on the resource of the nature that had to be stored under the earth for a long time before the emergence (这个词出现得很奇怪，最好解释一下)of human beings. Once it be exhausted people can never to find it again.
All in all, the environment should be concern by the entire world. Although（尽管？）we should develop the globe global economic in a reasonable and continuing way, in order to be harmonious coexistence(好词！) with nature.最后一句逻辑不对啊，尽管要发展，是为了和谐共存？楼主在结尾处这种显眼的地方多注意哈

wsxz007

20 January
Independent Writing:Which way do you think is the best for a student to make new friends?a. join a sports team,b. participate in community activities,c. traveling


As the students in modern social development, it is not semes like in the past when good study can product a success and entire campus life. No one can deny that making friends as many as we can is another crucial task. When asked which is the best way to make new friends, my view is to participate in community activities. I will demonstrate my view in several different perspectives.

Firstly, when take part in a social communication, we can not only get in touch with fresh people but also to practice the communication skills, which is one of the most important skills that will deed benefit our future after the campus. For example, one of my classmate in the university, who take a part in the students union in the school time, by this way, he make a lot friends and practice himself very well. All of the experience in the student union makes his resume wonderful and help him to catch a wonderful offer from one of the top 500 companies.

Furthermore, from the type of friends, in the progress of the practicing of the social activities, most of the students try to do the same thing in the similar goal and characteristic that will give a good basic to continue the friendship in a long time. After the progress of dealing with the problem in the activities people can establish a especial relationship which maybe do effect in the later of work . Even so the companions in you student activities will become the partner in your career. One of my father’s best friend in the campus who is now my best parter in his business.

Although, there are many other road to make friends, such as take a travel or join in a team, that can give people chance to enjoy the leisure time with others. But in my view, the friends came from the community of the practice is not only interesting but also long relationship.

All in all, for the reasons I talked above, as a student in the campus, it is the best way to make friends that in the practice of the social communication, which can give us  a longer and deeper benefit.

e23lzh

文章改好了，问题不少，具体都写在这个word文档里了。推荐使用2010以上版本打开。

wsxz007

21 January
Independent Writingo you agree or disagree with the following statement:Nowadays it's easier to maintain health than the past.

Whatever in the past or modern society, health is the most concerned the physical and the mental, by people,concerned the , and it is the significant key to the happiness. Without is we can not enjoy the life with the family, without it we can not chase our dream about the career, and without it we can not have chance to read the amazing of the life.I am so proud and lucky about that I live in this era that give me a better condition than ever before to maintain the health. I will prove my view in three different perspectives.

First and objective, the level of the daily live is increased fastly recent years, which can keep most of people away from the primary killer of the health-hungry and cold.They can kill the body and heart in silence. As we all know that the limiting supply in old China, the body and the heart is suffered from the hungry. Now days people can not only satisfy the hungry but also enjoy the delicious of the food, that can give us abundant nutrition and good mood. It is obvious that people can ensure the basic of the health in modern society.

Furthermore, more and more major diseases can be prevented and cures, because of the medical technology progress.  Such as the various kinds of cancer and epidemic disease, which is the
fatal disease in the past and can kill people immediately. Benefiting from the technology, people can live longer and more comfortable than before. This is best illustrate by the example of my classmate, she was diagnosed  with bone cancer, but fortunately, she was saved by the operation.I can not image consequence if the girl lived in the past.

With the increase of living standards and the quality of life, people think more about the health which is  another way to keep away from the illness and sub-health. In most of the residential areas, we can see more and more people exercise in groups with facilities,what is the infrastructure of most residential areas.Take my mother as an example, she takes exercise every morning after her 35 age, and this make her more fit and glad than before.

In conclusion, for the reasons I talked above, the health can be maintain better than before. Although the pollution is serious than before, that is a rejection of the health and is being controlled in a limit rang. All in all, we have reason to believe that the health in future will be better than now.

bet

改20 January
Independent Writing:Which way do you think is the best for a student to make new friends?a. join a sports team,b. participate in community activities,c. traveling


As the students in modern social development, it is not semes(does not seem) like in the past when good study can product a success and entire campus life.这句话逻辑错误，后面的主语应该和students对应而不是用it is, 而且这句话是想表达古今对比吧，应该比较时间，product a success and entire campus life什么意思没读懂No one can deny that making friends as many as we can is another crucial task.这句话突然插进来有点奇怪，可以换一种说法：Making as many new friends as possible so as to expand our social network has unveiled its significance. When asked which is the best way(which way is the best) to make new friends, my view is to participate in community activities. I will demonstrate my view in several different perspectives.

Firstly, when take(taking) part in a social communication, we can not only get in touch with fresh(unacquainted) people but also to(删) practice the communication skills, which is one of the most important skills that will deed benefit our future after the campus（graduation）. For example, one of my classmate in the university, who takes part in the students union in the school time, by this way, he(删)makes a lot friends and practices himself very well. All of(删) the experience in the student union makes his resume wonderful and help him to catch a wonderful offer from one of the top 500 companies.

Furthermore, from the type of friends, in the progress of the practicing of the social activities,没读懂，表达有点儿问题most of the students try to do the same thing in the similar goal and characteristic（删） that will give a good basic to continue（build a solid foundation for） the friendship in a long time. After the progress of dealing with the problem in the activities people can establish a especial(special) relationship which maybe do effect in the later of work(effect later work) . Even so the companions in you student activities will become the partner in your career. One of my father’s best friends in the campus who is now my best parter in his business.这句话没谓语啊亲，后面是不是还差半句？

Although, there are many other roads to make friends, such as take(taking) a travel or join(joining) in a team, that(which) can give people chances to enjoy the leisure time with others. But in my view, the friends came(时态？) from the community of the practice is not only interesting but also long relationship.主语和宾语不搭

All in all, for the reasons I talked above, as a student in the campus, it is the best way to make friends that in the practice of the social communication,问题同本文首句which can give us  a longer and deeper benefit（benefit us in the long run）.



语法错误太多，建议写完后检查一遍，很多动词没加s，很多表达也不规范，这样的错误应该尽量避免。很多句子的表意不请，建议把我标注较多的句子重新写一下，理顺意思之后再考虑如何出彩。

bet

呵呵，刚才突然发现之前给你批过一次综合，看到了你给我的回复～～我批的是狠了点儿，呵呵，因为考过G所以对语法表达什么的问题看的很仔细～希望你不要着急，只要每天努力练习，相信一定会有很大进步的，加油！！

perfectends

备注：红色--修改；蓝色--建议。

Whatever No matter(赶脚这whatever用的啊，怪怪的) in the past or modern society, health is the most concerned problem both thephysically and the mentally,(去掉此处逗号)by people,concerned the , and it is the significant key to the happiness. Withoutis good health we can not enjoy the life with the family, without it we can not chase our dream about the career goal, and without it we can not have chance to read the amazing stories(注意amazing词性) of the life.I am so proud and lucky about that I live in this era that give me a better condition than ever before to maintain the health. I will prove my view in three different perspectives.（个人感觉：虽然你第一段是想用三个排比来闪亮登场，但是有点不像essay的味儿反倒更像文学作品。。。）

First andbe objective, the level of the daily live is increasedour living condition has been fastly improved in recent years, which can keep most of people away from the primary killer of the health-hungry and cold.They can kill the body and heart in silence. As we all know that thelimiting limited supply in old China,(去掉逗号)caused the body and the heart is suffered from the hungry.Now daysNowadays，people can not only satisfy the hungry stomaches but also enjoy the deliciousvariety of the delicious food, that can give us abundant nutrition and good mood. It is obvious that people can ensure the basic of the health in modern society.

Further more, more and more major diseases can be prevented and cures, because of the medical technology progress.  Such as the various kinds of cancer and epidemic disease, which is the
fatal disease in the past and can kill people immediately. Benefiting from the technology, people can live longer and more comfortable than before. This is best illustrated by the example of my classmate, she was diagnosed  with bone cancer, but fortunately, she was saved by the operation.I can not image consequence the future of hers if the girl lived in the past.

With theincrease of imporved living standards and the quality of life, people think more about the health which is  another way to keep away from the illness and sub-health. In most of the residential areas, we can see more and more people exercise in groups with facilities,what is the infrastructure of most residential areas.Take my mother as an example, she takes exercise every morning after her 35 age since she became 35 years old, and this make her more fit and glad than before.

In conclusion, for the reasons I talked above, the health can be maintain better than before. Although the pollution is serious than before, that is a rejection of the health and is being controlled in a limit rang. All in all, we have reason to believe that the health in future will be better than now.（这段提到pollution。。。逻辑有点奇怪的感觉。。。）


总结：


总体而言文章的结构没有大问题，这是大优点。
文章出现的问题总而言之是一个——汉语思维。具体分为以下方面：

1. 选词或者表达方式不当：有些句子很明显是中式思维，感觉你还是比较字字对应的在翻译着写；单词没有把握宁愿不用，也别犯amazing当名词这样的错误。

2.语法错误：建议没事找本语法书，张道真的不错，针对自己的作文容易犯错的语法找出来，翻到对应章节去看。

3.逻辑：逻辑问题最大的应该是在文章末段，突然抛出污染问题，但是这样的反驳作为结尾未免单薄，都可以单独立一段来反驳，有点没事给自己找乱子犯错误的感觉。末段怎么保险怎么来，如果你把握不准让步写法，宁可一边倒的总结。

wsxz007

1月22 综合 TPO22
The reading passage and the lecture is talking about the same question about if the ethanol is better than gasoline. The reading passage said the gasoline will not be replaced by the new fuel. When the lecture disprove from three aspects that it is not carrect in the passage.

Firstly, the professor said, just a cycle, that the carbon dioxide produced by the burning of the ethanol is reduced by the growth of the plants which is material of the new fuel. When the passage said that the ethanrol and the gasoline product the same heat to the atmosphere.

Secondly, in the passage, it is said that they are the food of the animal,  that the plants are made into the fuel . The lecture point out that the part of the plants be used to the production is disliked by the animal, and there is no disadvantage for the animals.

Finally, the lecture said that the price of the plant fuel is deed higher than the gasoline, but it is no longer to be like this once the ethanol output enhanced. Although the momentary support from the government is necessary. Here is some evidence, if the production of the ethanol is three times larger than now, the price will low down 40%.

tsyxyss

1月22 综合 TPO22 批改
The reading passage and the lecture is talking about the same question about if the ethanol is better than gasoline. The reading passage said(这儿改成says后边就不用改will了，反正时态不对) the gasoline will not be replaced by the new fuel. When the lecture disprove from three aspects that it is not carrect（correct） in the passage.

Firstly, the professor said, just a cycle, that the carbon dioxide produced by the burning of the ethanol is reduced by the growth of the plants which is material of the new fuel. However， When（what） the passage said（is） that the ethanrol（ethanol） and the gasoline product（是不是应该用动词produce） the same heat to the atmosphere.

Secondly, in the passage, it is said that they are the food of the animal,  that the plants are made into the fuel . The lecture point out that the part of the plants be used to the production is disliked by the animal（office建议不用被动，而且我脚得不应该是dislike，就是don’t eat就得了）, and there is no disadvantage for the animals.（我觉得无必要）

Finally, the lecture said that the price of the plant fuel is deed（是不是楼主想用indeed啊） higher than the gasoline, but it is no longer to be like this once the ethanol output enhanced ,caused by the increase of the consumption of ethanol. Although the momentary support from the government is necessary. Here is some evidence(觉得有点突兀，不太恰当), if the production of the ethanol is three times larger than now, the price will low down 40%.

水平有限，给楼主随便改的，楼主见谅，第二段反正我当时是真心没听懂，主要是cellulose那词害的。