wsxz007 作业贴 作文啊作文 你跟我和好吧……求你了 1.27求拍砖

conanwang

As we all know that, the leader is the core of the management and the soul of the team, just like the politician of a country. If is possible, there is no one don't want to have a try to be a leader in a group, whatever the size of the team. Here go for a problem, how to be a leader? We can find so many features on a wonderful leader, such as inspiration, cultivation, and innovation, but in my view, the most important characteristic is the communication skills. Here are the reasons. (开头不错)

To begin with, element task of a leader is how to keep the team in a high efficiency. As we all know that, to be a group, there can not be only one or two persons. The bigger the team is the more people in. But it is no denying that different mind have different think, which are hardly to be identify at one once. It is opposite to that team only can have one goal, that everyone here should do their best to complete the seam target. Obviously the communication is so prime skill that can translation the different minds into a same one-the target of the whole. For instance, the politicians on the congress have to communicate to the members from the different part of the region in his management,in order to make sure that all the team under his or her management to keep in a uniform pace. （这一段主要说沟通能保持效率，很好）

From the correct decision, the brainstorming is familiar to most of us, which is a effective way to make a good decision. Why do we take this kind of method most of time? By this way we can discuss the issue with everyone in the team-showing your opinion and listening to the others. During this progress, the leader should absorb the right ones and make a decision at the end, and more important is to persuade the opponents. Communication is the key and the basic of making a effective and informed decision, which is one of the major tasks of a leader. （此段没有主题句，而且没有讲到leader，有偏题之嫌）


Finally, the group is always be together with the conflict, which is a huge adverse factor in a team. There is another major job for the leader-smoothing over the conflict whatever outside and inside ones. Finding the reason of the conflict is the first step of the compromise, and then suit the remedy to the case. All of the parts of the progress cannot lack of communications. （这里也没有讲到communication对leader的作用）

In conclusion, although the other for the reasons I talked above, the communication is the most significant skills for the leader and politician.


If is possible, there is no one don't want to have a try to be a leader in a group, whatever the size of the team.
==>If it is possible, there is no one who do not want to have a try to be a leader in a group.

As we all know that, to be a group, there can not be only one or two persons.
==>As we all know that there is often more than one person in a group.

The bigger the team is the more people in.
==>The bigger the team is the more people involve.

But it is no denying that different mind have different think, which are hardly to be identify at one once.
==>But it is no point in denying that different people have different ideas which are hardly to be identified at once.

It is opposite to that team only can have one goal, that everyone here should do their best to complete the seam target.
==>It is opposite to the view that a team can have one objective only and that everyone should do their best to pursue the same target.

Finally, the group is always be together with the conflict, which is a huge adverse factor in a team.
==>Finally, there are lots of friction in the teamwork, which may affect a team negatively.

wsxz007

12 January
Independent Writingo you agree or disagree with the following statement:It is better to work with your own computer and telephone at your home than work in your company's office.

We' re in an era of information, that almost everything can be completed through net on a computer or a phone. Under this condition, most of the companies replace the traditional pattern with the Web office. However, when people enjoys the conveniences bring by the information technology, their personal privacy are encountered some threat, so someone prefer to use personal computer and telephone even during working time. But in my view, it is entirely unnecessary.

Financially, for instance, people have to prepare an other computer, which is especially for the job. Maybe someone will buy a notebook and bring it home after work, which is really not convenience and uneconomic. At the same time, if people choose to the private telephone during the working time, and the bill will be expensive much more times then daily size . There no denying that all the bills are payed by yourself. The wage will shrink even before enjoy it.

In addition, the technology can protect your privacy totally, with the development of scientific and technological recent years. For instance, as we know that some software, such as Rising and 360, can delete and avoid the Trojans or the computer virus quickly and safely. By this way, there is no reasons to worried about the personal count or some other privacy information from the public computers. As for the telephone, it is impossible to be intercepted in a public one which is not legitimate.

From the efficiency, in order to be more unitive and convenient  most of the office equipments are networking, such as the computer and the printer. Furthermore, some of the devices in a department are shared by all the staff. It is different for a single equipment to take part in a network, which is inconvenience and inefficient in the work.

In conclusion, for the reasons I talked above, there is no need to use personal computer or telephone in the company, in contrast, it is more convenient, effective and economic to share the public office equipment with others.

wsxz007

15 January
Independent Writingo you agree or disagree with the following statement:It is impossible always being honest to your friends.

Honesty is an increasingly important role in modern daily life and penetrate in every nook of our lives. As the importance it is as we all know, here is a problem, whether it is possible always to be honest to our friends? In my opinion, from the bottom of my heart, although but the honesty important it is really hard to keep in honesty to others all the time.

To begin with, in some ways people will be hurt when clue in to the fact. For instance, I am a student in the university and live with three others in a dorm. There is a life fragment in my apartment, after shopping, girls are used to show their goods to the roommates and discuss the cost performance. There is no doubt that if the clothes or the shoes are very beautiful I will be honest to express the praise. But some time I will say:" All right, not bad." For the reasons, the goods are really expensive than its value. Why do I lie to my roommate, for the reason, I don't want to make her unhappy and disappointed.In fact, there is no reason to tell the truth to the friends every time, especially in some insignificant aspects.

In addition, different people have different minds. The same object will  precent various shapes in diverse angle. There is no need to express our points every time. It is not bad to agree with others sometimes even though you hold the opposite reasons. Giving up the points is not honest but so what? Because of the different age, gender and knowledge, different people will keep in different perspectives about the same thing. In the daily communication, when the discussion come into a corner, it is not bad to give up our view in some time in order to keep in balance with the others and it will be good for the friendship.  
However, the honesty is the prime element in the friendship. In addition, the communication among people establish on the integrity, which is the element of characteristic in the life. In order to enjoy the relationship with others, we have to keep in a balance of honesty in the daily life.

All in all, for the reasons I enumerate above, it is impossible always being honest to the friends

麦田往事

Honesty is an increasingly important role in modern daily life and penetrates in every nook of our lives. As the importance it is as we all know, here is a problem, whether it is possible always to be honest to our friends? In my opinion, from the bottom of my heart, although but the honesty important it is really hard to keep in honesty to others all the time.

To begin with, in some ways people will be hurt when clue in to the fact. For instance, I am a student in the university and live with three others in a dorm最好不要用简写. There is a life fragment in my apartment.After shopping, girls are used to show their goods to the roommates and discuss the cost performance. There is no doubt that if the clothes or the shoes are very beautiful I will be honest to express the praise. But some time I will say:" All right, not bad." For the reasons, the goods are really expensive than its value. Why do I lie to my roommate, for the reason, I don't want to make her unhappy and disappointed. In fact, there is no reason to tell the truth to the friends every time, especially in some insignificant aspects.

In addition, different people have different minds. The same object will can precent various shapes in diverse angle. There is no need to express our points every time. It is not bad to agree with others sometimes even though you hold the opposite reasons. Giving up the points is not honest but so what? Because of the different age, gender and knowledge, different people will keep inmay hold different perspectives about the same thing. In the daily communication, when the discussion come into a corner, it is not bad to give up our view in some time in order to keep in balance with the others and it will be good for the friendship. 你这一段是不是想说明偶尔不诚实可以减少朋友间的争执？但是你解释原因，你除了最后一句其他的都是在讲人们看问题的方面不一样我们不一定要坚持自己的观点。最主要是你这一段没有第一句就点名不诚实可以will be good for the friendship.

However, the honesty is the prime element in the friendship. In addition, the communication among people establish on the integrity, which is the element of characteristic in the life. In order to enjoy the relationship with others, we have to keep in a balance of honesty in the daily life.你想说保持一个诚实与不诚实间的平衡么。Dishonest终归是不好的，所以这里用 balance不太妥吧。而且用balance的时候后面最好把两个名词都加上。

All in all, for the reasons I enumerate above, it is impossible always being honest to the friends



总体来说楼主写作还是不错的，中规中矩的结构，就是逻辑细节上还不够完美。

wsxz007

16 January
Independent Writingo you agree or disagree with the following statement:College and universities must do a better job of preparing student for the workplace


According to the increase of the number of admissions of the university and college  recent years, graduating from a  university is not only a dream to most of students.In this situation, the competence of the graduations is not as high as before,Furthermore, the students who exactly left from the campus don not have enough experience to adapt to the society.In this case, someone argue that the university and college should do better work of preparing the students for the job that they will face in the future.Personally, I have to admit that there is no more important thing for the schools than to give some practical teaching to the students.

From the student’s angle, the preparing for the work can enhance the core competence of themselves, which would give a large assistance in the competition of the employment after school, and will establish the confidence for the students in the interview of the large companies.For instance, when I run for the president of the students union, there was several interviews and presentations during the process, which give me a lot of experiences about the interview.All of the experiences make me a good confidence in the competition of the employment later and I can talk to the interviewer with a good bearing without any nervous which is the most puzzle of the other students.

Furthermore, for the employer, it is a good avoiding to the waste of the training for the basic of the work skills and communication or something else, if the fresh man had already understood some about the job.  As we all know that, the Human resource manager would like to invite the persons who are not only enthusiastic but also  experienced.

Finally, no one can deny that before choosing a university the parents and the students will consider the employment rate as a significant standard of a university and a college.
In other words, good employment rate means a wonderful souse of the student and a good reputation. For the important of the employment rate, the school should take some scheme to rise it. Obviously, the training of the workplace is a best way to enhance the competition of the graduates in the market of the employment.

In conclusion, with all the reasons I illustrate aboves, on the basic of the good academic education, the training for the further job is a significant target for the university and college in the teaching program.

verchieldan

According to the increase of the number of admissions of the university and college recent years（好多个of 啊，开篇是不是简介一点呢，怕毁了印象）, graduating from a university is not only a dream to most of students. In this situation, the competence of the graduates is not as high as before.Furthermore, the students who exactly left from the campus do not have enough experience to adapt to the society. In this case, someone argue that the university and college should do better work of preparing the students for the job that they will face in the future. Personally, I have to admit that there is no more important thing for the schools than to give some practical teaching to the students.

From the student’s angle, the preparing for the work can enhance the core competence of them, which would give a lot assistance in the competition of the employment after schooland will establish the confidence for the students in the interview of the large companies. For instance, when I run for the president of the students union, there were several interviews and presentations during the process, which give me a lot of experiences about the interview. All of the experiences make me a good confidence (这个 make confidence 很chinglish)in the competition of the employment later and I can talk to the interviewer with a good bearing without any nervous which is the most puzzle of the other students.

Furthermore, for the employer, it is good to avoid the waste of the training for the basic work skills (communication 应该包含在 skill 里面了)or something else, if the fresh man had already understood some about the job.  As we all know that, the Human Resource manager would like to hire the persons who are not only enthusiastic but also experienced.

Finally, no one can deny that before choosing a university the parents and the students will consider the employment rate as a significant standard of a university and a college.
In other words, good employment rate means a wonderful source of the student and a good reputation. For the important of the employment rate, （这句想表达什么？而且应该用importance） the school should take some scheme to rise it. Obviously, the training of the workplace is a best way to enhance the competition of the graduates in the market of the employment.

In conclusion, with all the reasons I illustrate above, on the basic of the good academic education, the training for the further job is a significant target for the university and college in the teaching program.


ps:不知道为什么张贴上来格式都不见了，我传了附件，用了修订模式，可能看得要清楚一些。

优点：

1.字数充足

2.论证角度多样且合理，基本分为三个角度，学生、雇主鹤学校，每一个的原因都很明显清晰，我感觉很有说服力的。

待改进：

1.我觉得可以再增加一点例子，毕竟空说道理看着很空泛

2.语法语句问题。我感觉很多表达不是很地道（当然，我自己也是），建议多用一些词组；句式单一且缺乏变化，可以用些不定式，各种从句，不要只用which，注意which不能指代前面整个句子的内容，只能指代前面的名词。

我也是26号考了，有什么问题大家一起探讨哈。

wsxz007

你可以直接在我的作文帖子下面回复，这里是有格式编辑的哦……

wsxz007

17 January
Independent Writing:Contributes on an enjoyable vacation, please select one of three selection. Good food, Good location and with good friendsto travel.

As we all know that, Vacation is playing more importantly a role in our tension life and every chance to enjoy it is valuable. In my opinion ,I will plan how to enjoy it long before it arrives. In my plan, the location is the first to be considered, because of the traffic, economy and safety.

To begin with, traffic is the elementary because the goal of the vacation is  relaxing, and the bad traffic will ruin your good mood. I will chose the place where is not very hard to arrive and the local traffic is not bad.As we all know it could not have a wonderful body condition to enjoy the holiday that the energy is exhausted on the road to the destination. Once a time, I go to Beijing with my family for my summer vacation durning the Olympic Game. What ever the train, bus or the aircraft are all full of people.  Even worse, everywhere of the sight spot you have to wait in line at least halt an hour before you get the ticket. My family were so tired in that vacation and decided no more to go to the hottest city for holiday.

Economically,how to spent the money more effective and economic become a popular issue in  now days society the location, so do I. The location for the holiday where is better cost performance will be my favorite. Every end of the vacation, the television news of CCTV will broadcast the price of the nationwide sight spots, and the cost of various travels. Some of the prices are so expensive that the common people can not afford. No one can deny that, for most of the citizens, the vacation is not the most important part of our daily life. So how to spend the vacation happily and avoid to face to the economic pressure is the primary feature in our vacation plan.

Finally, whatever in the working day or the vacation, safety is the basic factor to be consider. Especially in holiday, the location is very relative to the safety. For example, every summer in my hometown,  two or three children will lose their young in river where is not fit for the children to enjoy the vacation by themselves.

Although, there are many other factors have to be consider in the vacation,for the reasons I talked above, I regard the location is the most important in the contribution of the vacation.

verchieldan

17 January
Independent Writing:Contributes on an enjoyable vacation, please select one of three selection. Good food, Good location and with good friendsto travel.

As we all know that, Vacation is playing  a more importantly important role in our tension这个是名词，可以换为tense life and every chance to enjoy it is valuable.（and 不能并列后半句，不然主语就是vocation了） In my opinion ,I will plan how to enjoy it long before it arrives. In my plan, the location is the first to be considered, because of the traffic conditions, economy and safety.

To begin with, traffic is the elementary factor because the goal of the vacation is relaxing, and but the bad traffic will ruin your（因为后面是I,避免人称混乱，最好用去掉YOURS） good mood. I will chose the place where is not very hard to arrive and the local traffic is not bad. As we all know it could not have a wonderful body condition to enjoy the holiday because that (that 去掉)the energy is exhausted on the road way to the destination. Once a time, I go to Beijing with my family for my summer vacation durning the Olympic Game. Whatever the train, bus or the aircraft are all full of people.  Even worse, everywhere of the sight spot you have to wait in line at least halt half an hour before you get the ticket. My family families were so tired in that vacation and decided no more to go to the hottest city for holiday.

Economically, how to spent the money more effective and economic become a popular issue in now days nowadays society the location(这句有问题，就不知道你想要表达什么了), so do I. The location for the holiday where is better cost performance will be my favorite. （这句句子结构不完整，还有还是不知道想要表达什么）Every end of the vacation（这种成分书面语一般放在句末，当然，口语里可以）, the television news of CCTV the CCTV news will broadcast the price of the nationwide sight spots, and the cost of various travels(各种各样的旅行？是不是要说不同路线的旅行啊). Some of the prices are so expensive that the common people can not afford. No one can deny that, for most of the citizens, the vacation is not the most important part of our daily life. So how to spend the vacation happily and avoid to face facing to去掉to，楼主注意搭配哈the economic pressure is the primary feature 改为problem 比较好in our vacation plan.

Finally, whatever in the working day or the vacation, safety is the basic factor to be consider. Especially in holiday, the location is very relative to the safety. For example, every summer in my hometown, two or three children will lose their young life in river where is not fit for the children to enjoy the vacation by themselves.

Although, there are many other factors have to be consider in the vacation,for the reasons I talked above, I regard the location is the most important in the contribution of the vacation.



因为楼主的上一篇也是我改的，我觉得这一篇就像另个人写的。。。

论证角度是没有问题的，逻辑清晰，值得我这种一写英文就无逻辑的人学习。

主要问题还是在语言表达上，这一篇过于混乱了，建议楼主在临考前多背一些长句子，套着用。

wsxz007

之前，从没写过作文，没计时，刚刚会写一点点了，就快考试了，所以我在计时，程度跟重新开始一样……见谅