Conan的作文贴，热烈欢迎大家拍砖！谢谢大家！

zhisheng2200

帅哥你十九号的作文呢。。。

zhisheng2200

19 December

Independent Writing: Agree or disagree? Your job has more effect on your happiness than your social life does.



With the tempo of life accelerating, we have entered an era when happiness is a very difficult thing. While some people argue that working for jobs is the foundation of happiness, I think that participating in social activity, which is at the heart of people’s life, is a more important source of happiness.



Firstly, happiness can be described as a sense of pleasure and enjoyment which is a direct result of social activities. Having someone accompanying with, we feel better(这句太短了吧). For instance, we will be feeling romantic happiness when we are simply having a chat with our lovers just in a leisure place such as lakeside.



Secondly, happiness can be a time when we are spending time with other people and that is why we will probably feel the stimulating, dynamic energy of life when we are hanging out with our friends in a night club, drinking and dancing. Another example is that the netizens are more likely to post articles in the social networking which includes Facebook, Google + and twitter, sharing news with friends rather than sole, as most of people prefer social activities.



The second reason is that too much works can result in mental burdens and health problems. From psychological perspective, many workaholics claim that they are always under time pressure, with feeling chronic stress and anxiety, not to mention the sleeplessness resulting from fatigue. Furthermore, some jobs are usually challenging with a high workload and there are work politics ranging from workplace frictions to moral hazard, which can exert pressure on employees.





However, we will feel a sense of satisfaction that is a contributing factor of happiness, if our achievements has been recognized by others. In reality, we are delighted and confident when we are being promoted. As become more successful in working, we will also feel a sense of happiness when we become financially free. With more money, we can therefore satisfy ourselves and help orphans and the people with disability who are in needy.



In conclusion, although some works may be rewarding, social life has more influence on people. Neither should we neglect the importance of social life, nor should we ignore the great impacts social activities produce.
LZ写得很不错，逻辑有序，语言也很得体。我也没怎么挑出什么大错。
感觉不足的可能就是论述太短，特别是第一段。还有就是论述时缺少实例，举的都是一句话的小例子。
第五段HOWEVER完全可以删去或者少些一点，把前面内容再充实一点，就更OK啦。

conanwang

22 December
Independent Writing: Which way do you think is the best way for a student to make new friends? Joining a sports team, b. participating in community activities, or traveling。

 
    
Nowadays, students have various methods to meet new friends. While I accept that students can easily make friends through sports games and travelling, I believe that taking part in community activities is the best way for students to make friends.

On the one hand, sports provide students with opportunities to play with friends who have similar interests. Each player can build a strong relationship with others by playing within a same team. Nevertheless, a student has to be really good at a particular sport. In terms of taking a trip, we have seen that students can meet a wide variety of friends during a long journey. For example, in a tour bus, students can make friends with other passengers ranging from businesspeople to university professors. Although travelling is a good way to meet new friends, it is unaffordable for most students due to its time-consuming and expensive.

However, students have lots of chances to make a wider scope of friends in various community activities. For example, by working together in a Christmas party, students are more easily build solid bonds with other participators, compared with in a highly competitive football game. Furthermore, students are more likely to make healthy friends in community activities, which can prevent students from falling into criminal and undesirable activities such as drug-taking and teenager-sex. Lastly, community activities can be both entertaining and engaging, which offer students a better setting to start a conversation with a good friend.

From what has been discussed, it seems that participating in community activities is a best choice for students because these activities provide youths with a wider range of friends, more good friends and a better surrounding.

sunflowerclan

作文哪里找？

sunflowerclan

第一次小分队，在这儿，找到了

zhisheng2200

20号的会尽快帮你写，我的重写了。。。可能还再晚点

conanwang

20号的会尽快帮你写，我的重写了。。。可能还再晚点

-- by 会员 zhisheng2200 (2012/12/22 17:07:19)

好的。请问标黄色的是什么意思？

sunflowerclan

不好意思，我今天有事儿耽搁了，你的作文最晚明天早上发给你。

45573asdasd

Nowadays, students have various methods to meet（同义替换的不对。meet和make不一个意思） new friends. While I accept that students can easily make friends through sports games and travelling, I believe that taking part in community activities is the best way for students to make friends.

On the one hand, sports provide students with opportunities to play with friends who have similar interests. Each player can build a strong relationship with others by playing within a same team. Nevertheless, a student has to be really good at a particular（这个转折不和逻辑） sport. In terms of taking a trip, we have seen that students can meet a wide variety of friends during a long journey. For example, in a tour bus, students can make friends with other passengers ranging from businesspeople to university professors. Although travelling is a good way to meet new friends, it is unaffordable for most students due to its time-consuming and expensive.（如果你选择了一个那就多说，其他两个带过就好）

However, students have lots of chances to make a wider scope of friends in various community activities. For example, by working together in a Christmas party, students are more easily build solid bonds with other participators, compared with in a highly competitive football game. Furthermore, students are more likely to make healthy friends in community activities, which can prevent students from falling into criminal and undesirable activities such as drug-taking and teenager-sex. Lastly, community activities can be both entertaining and engaging, which offer students a better setting to start a conversation with a good friend.

From what has been discussed, it seems that participating in community activities is a best choice for students because these activities provide youths with a wider range of friends, more good friends and a better surrounding.
值得表扬的是语法小错误很少，缺点是太短了。不超过三百很有可能会是个位数。而且字数少了也不可能对文章进行充分论证。多看范文，多举例子。加油！

sunflowerclan

21 December
Independent Writing: Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? To increase economic growth, government can neglect environmental concerns.





People have (cause) devastating effects on the ecosystem when increase productivity and boost the economy. While some people argue that environment problems is the price authorities have to pay for economic development, I believe that government should seek a balance between environmental conservation and economic development, for society will plunge into the disaster with ecosystem degrading and the loss of biodiversity.

Firstly, ecological degradation caused by human activities will pose a threat to our planet, if without proper regulation（if加介词是不是不太好啊？） We can expect more extreme weather conditions, when more carbon emissions, the culprit of the global warming, was produced considerably by thousands of power plants. The global warming will have a significant impact on our planet, with the polar ice caps melting and sea level rising due to the increasing temperature. In addition, the greenhouse effect will also cause a series chain of reactions ranging from flooding and（to） droughts, with the government no regard to the environmental conservation.

Furthermore, it will lead to the extinction of many species of animals and plants, if governments do not realize the importance of environment. Nowadays, the forest ecosystem are( is) being destroyed at an alarming rate, with considerable loss of biodiversity. In fact, people have cut trees down in large numbers without a plan, which will wreak havoc on the wild animals. Without habitats to live in, the wildlife in a region will only able to live in cages. Moreover, the more land is tuned(turned) over to farmland, the more plants will be wiped out. The reduction in the number of species will be accelerating, if governments still permit over-grazing activities in order to develop the economy.（个人觉得；例子举完了，再踩一脚会不会更好？比如All those slight profit may seem to be so small when compared to the all those far reaching trend of extinction）


In reality, authorities are now able to maintain the ecological equilibrium, with the advance of science and technology. If the governments encourage people to use renewable energy source, the consumption of coal, oil and gas can be reduced. Besides, government should condemn rather than condone environmentally inefficient manufactures. Harsh actions with the supervision system should be applied by the government, in order that the human activities will not bring about permanent devastation.

In conclusion, I strongly disagree that government do not pay attention to environmental issues simply because of developing the economy. Neither should the authorities neglect importance of ecological balance, nor should we ignore the responsibility of the government.

用词很地道，学习了！几乎没改什么。

LZ很喜欢用with结构，换换结构作文更美！还有貌似不是很注意主谓一致。其他的我就看不出来了。