1.27一战，才开始练作文，真心求教，CoopeR的作文贴，求共同进步！

conanwang

The greatest occupation in the world is teacher ,they are the soul conductor of our life trip .Nowaday ,there is growing concern about to increase the teachers’ salary for quality of education .for my perspective ,that statement is absolutely ridiculous . (这句话有点多余)In this essay ,I will analyze the issue and come up with some effective reasons to demonstrate it. （这句话全是指代，看起来没有直接了当地点明主题。）

First of all ,Although the school could pay more money for teachers ,the students’ motivation for study still be the same . （这句话有问题。the same 是什么，没有说说明，而且although引导的是转折句。）The salary increasing have no directive relation with students’ attitude ,even the passion of teachers’ work could be ramped up .The students ,however ,the best one still love to study and keep the best work in the class .the worst guys always treats their school work as the past .In this sense ,the quality of education cannot be improved by increasing the teahcers’ salaries. （你想表达的是：老师工资高，不一定代表学生就有学习热情。可惜表达不是很清晰，建议好好提炼主题句。）

Moreover ,there is another story to testify my hypothesis .It’s reasonable for teacher to thrive themselves for salaries rising ,Somehow on no account can we ignore the importance of students’ capability of adapting themselves to tension .Some teacher will indicate their motivation for work via increase the students’ workload of study .For instance ,Mr.Peter is a English teacher ,and he only assign a little homeworks to students .and so many students intent to select his English course at the beginning of the semester ,but after school decides to increase the Peter’s payment for his huge contribution for education .Peter considers that he must pay more focus on students’ cultivation in order to repay the school .Therefore from that moment ,Peter tries to assign more homeworks than past he did ,as a result , no one wishes to choose his class next semester .this story tell us even though the teacher’s salary be rose ,there is less affect on students’ education.这段挺不错

Finally ,the skill of how to activate the students’ motivation for study is at the heart of education .Some teacher gets the high payment but will not ramp up their capability of teaching .They still stays in the former criteria ,some teachers may thrive as much as they can but some one regards ‘stability’ as their tenet for the education ,they will do nothing but keep same pace like time before they gets high salary ,those behavior will arouse other teachers’ resent . 你应该是想表达：高工资不一定能激励老师去提高教学水平。观点很好，但不够直接了当。）

Given all these carefully analysis I mentioned above ,I firmly believe that increasing the teachers’ salary for high-quality education leave much to be desired .Although rising the payment for teacher could arouse their positivity for work ,the question of how to transfer the attitude of students plays the significant role in education.（结尾不应该再留问题。结尾总结就可以了。）





The greatest occupation in the world is teacher , they are the soul conductor of our life trip .
==>>The teacher is one of the most important elements in determining the success and failure of education.
==>>Teaching is one of the greatest professions in the world because teachers are responsible of cultivating our next generation.

The students , however , the best one still love to study and keep the best work in the class .
==>> However, the good students will still love learning and study  hard in class, regardless of teachers' quality.

Some teacher gets the high payment but will not ramp up their capability of teaching .
==>> There are many teachers who get high payments but the teaching level is still poor in many countries.

Given all these carefully analysis I mentioned above , I firmly believe that increasing the teachers' salary for high-quality education leave much to be desired .
==>>From these carefully analysis I have mentioned above, I firmly believe that increasing the teachers' salary would not necessarily improve the quality of education.
==>>In conclusion, I believe that increasing the teachers' salary would not necessarily improve the quality of education.