怎么写都觉得不好,125,大家看看吧

flywood

125 Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? All students should be required to study art and music in secondary school. Use specific reasons to support your answer.

Art and music is very important to any individual and they both play a great impact on the development of the people. Basing on my understanding and many facts, I am convinced that studying art and music are the favor choice for the majority of people and I will elaborate my view as follows.

The first reason of my view is that students can enlarge their scope of knowledge by studying art and music. As one of the valuable cultural heritage, art and music contain artist’s understanding about the world. Studying the art and music definitely help people to master skills to appreciate various arts. Furthermore, students can learn much about the background about the music, thus gaining the relevant knowledge about the history. Both of these vividly present the advantages on studying the art and music.

The second reason to support my view is that art and music can provide an opportunity to relax and refresh. Students have to study hard to survive fierce competition in the school and thus they will feel frustrated and tired. They can escape their trouble for a while by studying art and music. Art and music provide them a lot of pleasure and relax their nerves, thus making them full of energy after a short break. Obviously, art and music is the most ideal way to relax.

What is particular worth noting is that art and music could contribute greatly to the efficiency of students. Numerous facts can prove this point. For example, during the time when I hard to concentrate my job, I always prefer to listen some music or watch some photos. By this way, I find I obtain the inspiration or new perspective form art and accelerate my study speed. Undoubtedly, art and music is very conducive to the efficiency of study.

In conclusion, according to what I present previously, art and music can provide a lot benefits for the students. Although some people advance different opinion based on other evidences, I still conclude that all students should be required to study art and music in secondary school.

guandream

以下是引用flywood在2004-11-12 7:04:00的发言：

125 Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? All students should be required to study art and music in secondary school. Use specific reasons to support your answer.

Art and music is very important to any individual and they both play a great impact on the development of human beings the people. Basing my conclusion on my understanding and many facts, I am convinced that studying art and music are the favor choice for the majority of people(,) and I will elaborate my view as follows.

The first reason of my view is that students can enlarge their scopes of knowledge by studying art and music. As one of the valuable cultural heritage, art and music contain artist’s understanding about the world. Studying the art and music definitely help people to master skills to appreciate various arts. Furthermore, students can learn much about the background about the music, thus gaining the relevant knowledge about the history. Both of these vividly present the advantages on studying the art and music.(good)

The second reason to support my view is that art and music can provide an opportunity to relax and refresh. Students have to study hard to survive fierce competition in the school(,) and thus they will feel frustrated and tired. They can escape their trouble for a while by studying art and music. Art and music provide them with a lot of pleasure and relax their nerves, thus thereby (you use too many times thus, try this word thereby) making them full of energy after a short break. Obviously, art and music is the most ideal way to relax.

What is particular worth noting is that art and music could contribute greatly to the efficiency of students. Numerous facts can prove this point. For example, during the time when I hard to have difficulty in concentrating my job, I always prefer to listen some music or watch some photos. By this way, I find I obtain the inspiration or new perspective form art and accelerate my study speed. Undoubtedly, art and music are is very conducive to the efficiency of study.

In conclusion, according to what I present previously, art and music can provide a lot benefits for the students. Although some people advance different opinion based on other evidences, I still conclude that all students should be required to study art and music in secondary school.

your language is pretty good. but the essay is not really to respond to the topic. the topic stress on the students in the secondary school, but your writing is very general, especially the second point. In my opinion, the good responding essay should talk about the characters of students in this specific stage , and how the music can contribute to them during this period of time: the need of brain development, interest, influence in the future, and good education and characters.

flywood

说得有道理,好好琢磨琢磨,唉,好惨.

flywood

投机取巧的改法,版主再看看有没有好一些了.

125 Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? All students should be required to study art and music in secondary school. Use specific reasons to support your answer. Art and music is very important to any individual and they both play a great impact on the development of the people. Basing on my understanding and many facts, I am convinced that studying art and music are the favor choice for the majority of people and I will elaborate my view as follows. The first reason of my view is that students can enlarge their scope of knowledge by studying art and music in the secondary school in which people acquire most of knowledge including art.  As one of the valuable cultural heritage, art and music contain artist’s understanding about the world. Studying the art and music definitely help people to master skills to appreciate various arts. Furthermore, students can learn much about the background about the music, thus gaining the relevant knowledge about the history. Both of these vividly present the advantages on studying the art and music. The second reason to support my view is that art and music required in the secondary school can provide an opportunity to relax and refresh. Students have to study hard to survive fierce competition in the secondary school since they are under the pressure to enter university or college. Therefore, they will feel frustrated and tired. They can escape their trouble for a while by studying art and music. Art and music provide them with a lot of pleasure and relax their nerves, thus making them full of energy after a short break. Obviously, art and music is the most ideal way to relax for the students in the secondary school. What is particular worth noting is that art and music could contribute greatly to the efficiency of students. Numerous facts can prove this point. For example, during the time when I have difficulty in figuring out distinct questions at the secondary high school, I always prefer to listen some music or watch some photos. By this way, I find I obtain the inspiration or new perspective form art and accelerate my study speed. Undoubtedly, art and music is very conducive to the efficiency of study in the secondary school. In conclusion, according to what I present previously, art and music can provide a lot benefits for the students. Although some people advance different opinion based on other evidences, I still conclude that all students should be required to study art and music in secondary school.

[此贴子已经被作者于2004-11-13 3:40:14编辑过]

guandream

以下是引用flywood在2004-11-13 3:36:00的发言：
投机取巧的改法,版主再看看有没有好一些了.

125 Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? All students should be required to study art and music in secondary school. Use specific reasons to support your answer. Art and music is very important to any individual and they both play a great impact on the development of the people. Basing on my understanding and many facts, I am convinced that studying art and music are the favor choice for the majority of people and I will elaborate my view as follows. The first reason of my view is that students can enlarge their scope of knowledge by studying art and music in the secondary school in which people acquire most of knowledge including art.  As one of the valuable cultural heritage, art and music contain artist’s understanding about the world. Studying the art and music definitely help people to master skills to appreciate various arts. Furthermore, students can learn much about the background about the music, thus gaining the relevant knowledge about the history. Both of these vividly present the advantages on studying the art and music. The second reason to support my view is that art and music required in the secondary school can provide an opportunity to relax and refresh. Students have to study hard to survive fierce competition in the secondary school since they are under the pressure to enter university or college. Therefore, they will feel frustrated and tired. They can escape their trouble for a while by studying art and music. Art and music provide them with a lot of pleasure and relax their nerves, thus making them full of energy after a short break. Obviously, art and music is the most ideal way to relax for the students in the secondary school. What is particular worth noting is that art and music could contribute greatly to the efficiency of students. Numerous facts can prove this point. For example, during the time when I have difficulty in figuring out distinct questions at the secondary high school, I always prefer to listen some music or watch some photos. By this way, I find I obtain the inspiration or new perspective form art and accelerate my study speed. Undoubtedly, art and music is very conducive to the efficiency of study in the secondary school. In conclusion, according to what I present previously, art and music can provide a lot benefits for the students. Although some people advance different opinion based on other evidences, I still conclude that all students should be required to study art and music in secondary school.

you投机 but not 取巧. I will say that the object is clear now, but there is not logically clear connection between the specific stage and the reasons. however, perhaps ETS emphasize on evaluating the language. if so, it can score highly for sure. and also, different readers hold various opinions, so donot feel upset.

practice makes perfect