penny的作文帖——和那个看见作文就胆怯的我说拜拜

pennywu20

5月12号作业
综合TPO17
The professor actually contradicts the statement made in the reading that the growth of human population, increasing in agriculture and use of pesticide will decrease the number of birds in the United States. She is of the view that these three reasons are unconvincing and offers three points.

First, according to the lecture, it is true that growing settlements sometimes do harm to the birds habitats, the urban cities actually provide better and bigger habitats for birds. To be specific, people often complain the enormous population of seagulls at landfills and pigeons in streets. And hawks can be seen praying the increasing number of rots in cities. This suggests that the number of different kinds of birds is not uniformly declined.

Furthermore, contrary to the belief in the passage that growing agriculture will lead to further destruction of bird’s habitats, the professor asserts that in the United States, every year less and less land are used for agriculture. This is because more productive plants are introduced, which means people can harvest more quantity of food in per area. Thus less and less land will be needed to be converted into farmland and habitats of birds will not diminish.

Finally, the professor also points out that the pesticide will be a less harmful factor to the birds. She said that it is wrong to project history to the future. People are now aware of the drawback of traditional pesticide to the environment and two major changes will happen. First, the pesticide will be less toxic to the birds due to the new technology. For another thing, people will grow new pest-resisted plants, thus much less pesticides will be used. Both these two advancements will minimize the harmfulness of pesticides to birds.

In conclusion, the contents in the passage are totally jeopardized by the professor who uses three contradictory points to weaken the argument.

pennywu20

不好意思写错了，再发一篇综合
5月12号作业TPO19
The student, who is a part-time phone service buzzer, actually contradicts the statements made in the reading passage. He is of the view that consumers can get the truth in buzzing and state three specific points.

First, according to the lecture, it is not true that buzzing will give consumers incorrect information. Companies hire person who has used their products and think their products is favorable. Thus, buzzing is not like original advertisements that recruit people to lie. Although the buzzers get paid from the company, they talk about what their authentic feeling about products. So buzzing will not give consumers incorrect information about the buzzed product.

Furthermore, contrary to the belief in the passage that consumers become less critical when listen to the buzzers, the student asserts that consumers remain clear and skeptical when buzzed. To be specific, they questioned the details, such as price, service and the buzzer’s familiarity before they make the final responses. If the buzzers fail to give consumers satisfying answers, consumers will not choose to purchase products.

Finally, the professor also points out that it is stupid to believe buzzing will not destroy the trust among people. HE says that companies cannot recruit buzzers if their products are bad. Information the consumers hear from buzzers is not only sincere, it is likely talking about a good product. If consumers gain a nice experience after they use products, they will become more trustful and open to people. This makes the final point in the passage indefensible.

In conclusion, the contents in the passage are totally jeopardized by the student, who uses three contradictory points to weaken the argument.

anafkn

pennywu20 发表于 2013-5-13 21:09
不好意思写错了，再发一篇综合
5月12号作业TPO19
The student, who is a part-time phone service buzzer,  ...

不好意思不好意思！忘记了！！！我10点半之前一定改好！！！再次道歉！！！

anafkn

pennywu20 发表于 2013-5-13 21:09
不好意思写错了，再发一篇综合
5月12号作业TPO19
The student, who is a part-time phone service buzzer,  ...

The student, who is a part-time phoneservice buzzer, actually contradicts the statements made in the readingpassage. He is of the view that consumers can get the truth in buzzing andstate three specific points.

First, according to the lecture (lecturer?好像都可以？), it is not true that buzzing willgive consumers incorrect information. Companies hire person who has used theirproducts and think their products is favorable. Thus, buzzing is not likeoriginal advertisements that recruit people to lie. Although the buzzers getpaid from the company, they talk about what theirauthentic feeling about products. So buzzing will not give consumers incorrect information about the buzzed product.

Furthermore, contrary to the belief in the passage that consumers become lesscritical when listen (listening) to the buzzers,the student asserts that consumers remain clear and skeptical when buzzed. Tobe specific, they questioned(虽然后面有before还是不要转换时态了吧) the details,such as price, service and the buzzer’s familiarity before they make the finalresponses. If the buzzers fail to give consumers satisfying answers, consumers will not choose to purchase products.

Finally, the professor also points out that it isstupid to believe buzzing will not destroy the trust(双重否定为肯定，是不是反了？) among people. He saysthat companies cannot recruit buzzers if their products are bad. Informationthe consumers hear from buzzers is not only sincere, it is likely talking abouta good product(木有听出来QAQ). If consumers gain a nice experience after they use products, theywill become more trustful and open to people. This makes the final point in thepassage indefensible.

In conclusion, thecontents in the passage are totally jeopardized by the student, who uses threecontradictory points to weaken the argument.（完全木有要conclusion的概念啊肿么破）

1. 膜拜
2. 受益匪浅
3. 再膜拜
4. 谢谢指导
5. 再次为迟到道歉！！！

艾米果果

With the development of modern society（后面说的是越来越忙，这句写成In this fiercely competitive era你看会不会比原句与后面联系更强一些？）, we can easily perceive young people busy(busily) engage (busy,engage都是忙于的意思，不知道这样会不会语意思重复)in their study, works and many other stuffs. This contributes to an idea belief that the rules that the society today expect the young to follow are too strict. However, I disagree. I believe rules that society set for young people are actually much looser than that in(比较对象要对等，要不就成rules跟past在比较了)the past.

Firstly（例举论点时一般用first）, due to the convertion of people’s concept, the whole society is becoming more willing and capable to（of,GMAT语法里的固定搭配考点，capable of/able to） show understanding and pardon to the young’s behavior. Numerous rules which are（were） necessary in the past are not in requirements, such as some etiquette. For instance, students are（were） demanded to respect teachers and treated them as an elder like our parents in the past. Students may have to make a blow when hethey（前面只有students哦，注意指代） sees a teacher. But now the young can be both friends and students with teachers. Less etiquette is needed and young people can communicate more freely with the seniors.（例子与分论点有一点点不搭，第一个分论点是people理解原谅youth的行为，但是例举里没有涉及人们观点的变化，而是说students与teather关系的变化，建议在例子中加入这种关系的变化时如何因为人们的态度转变而产生的）

Furthermore, the whole society is actually showing more concern and paying more attention to the conditions of the young. Instead of forcing young people to cater its‘ criterions, society desires to assist the young to achieve a bright（用promising咋样？） and happy future. A large number of media focus on the problems incurred in juveniles’ growth. In the last year, Topics in Focus, which is the top famous news program in China, made a report about the severe internet addition happened in juveniles, aged from 14 to 18. In this report, it reveals the horrible negative effect that internet addition made（用exert咋样？） to both the physical and mental conditions of the young and makes a suggestion to parents to help the young people avoid being addicted. Thus, with the care from society young people will have better opportunity to realize a favorable development.（感觉这一个分论点没有点题，跟rules的关系？还是要强调一下这与rules到底严不严的逻辑关系哦？有时候自己明白那个理儿，考官只有有限的时间读你的writing不一定能马上理解你的逻辑思路）

Admittedly, nowadays, as the competition between people become fiercer, it is inevitably for the young to be required to become expertise in different areas. Young people have to obtain knowledge in numerous areas, if they want to have a better performance （they want to be distinguished in stiff competitions前面说竞争，这里也可以说竞争嘛~~~ ）in their work. For example, if an employ in the art auction house should not just be sophisticated in aesthetics and the evaluation of a masterpiece, but also in the principle of accounting and financial management. This tendency is attributed to the integration and industry in modern world. Consequently, young people need to spare more effort to meet the qualification of a job, butbasic rules set by society should not bear the major responsibility..（亲，既然你选择的是写“一遍倒”型的作文，你的三个分论点就应该是不遗余力的支持自己的观点。不是所写一个让步段不可以，但是admittedly后面的内容只能是“配菜”，真正的重点是but/however转折后面的内容，因为这个内容才是能支持你自己观点的。如果你把与自己总论点相悖的内容写太多了（还举了个反例），这不是在削弱自己的论证么？而且最后这一句basic rules set by society should not bear the major responsibility光所了自己的观点，却不论证，就显得没有说服力啦）

To sum up, Society has more tolerance to young people’s behavior and actually cares more about the young. Though young people need to acquire more skills to achieve success in career, the basic rules that society set for the young are not stricter than those in the past

抱歉现在发修改过来，这两天在赶作业~~~觉得说的不对的地方，请忽视哈~~~~~~

pennywu20

5月13号作业
综合TPO20:
The professor actually contradicts the critics made about the ''let it burn" policy in the passage. She is of the view that fire is a common part in natural recycle and it is good way for creating a new environment.

First, according to the lecture, the trees and vegetation become more diverse after the big fire in 1988. The scorched land in Yellowstone's is covered by new plants. And after the big trees were burned out, small plants, which need open and unshaded environment, have this opportunity to thrive in the space where used to be covered by the big ones. Also, some plants started to sprout due to the warmth after the fire.

Furthermore, contrary to the belief in the passage that the park wildlife was affected, the professor asserts that the population of the animals in the park recovered to an even larger one after the fire. The land after the fire provides great opportunity and ideal environment for other animals, such as the rabbits and hares. And so does their predators. Thus, the food chain in the park becomes stronger due to the diversity of creatures after the fire.

Finally, the professor also points out that the tourist attraction in the park is not affected by the policy, since the fire does not happen every year like the 1988'. It was the uncommon rare rain fail and try weather that lead to the big fire. Still, a large number of tourists come to the park for sight-seeing after the fire in 1988. This makes the final point in the passage indefensible.

pennywu20

anafkn 发表于 2013-5-13 21:46
The student, who is a part-time phoneservice buzzer, actually contradicts the statements made in th ...

不好意思啊，先发给你综合，一会发独立

anafkn

pennywu20 发表于 2013-5-14 20:12
5月13号作业
综合TPO20:
The professor actually contradicts the critics made about the ''let it burn"  ...

修改：

5月13号作业
综合TPO20:
The professor actually contradicts the critics made about the ''let itburn" policy in the passage. She is of the view that fire is a common part innatural recycle and it is a good way forcreating a new environment.

First, according to the lecture, the trees and vegetation become more diverseafter the big fire in 1988. The scorched land in Yellowstone's is covered by new plants. And after the bigtrees were burned out, small plants, which need open and un-shaded (果然还是我的听力不过关QAQ) environment, have this opportunity to thrive in the space whereused to be covered by the big ones. Also, some plants started to sprout due to the warmth after thefire.（所以这一句又是我听错了吗QAQ）

Furthermore, contrary to the belief in the passage that the park wildlife wasaffected, the professor asserts that the population of the animals in the parkrecovered to an even larger one after the fire. The land after the fireprovides great opportunity and ideal environment for other animals, such as therabbits and hares. And so does their predators. Thus, the food chain in thepark becomes stronger due to the diversity of creatures after the fire.

Finally, the professor also points out that the tourist attraction in the parkis not affected by the policy, since the fire does not happen every year likethe 1988'. It was the uncommon rare rain fail and try（dry……好不容易找到个错的地方……真是太有成就感了……） weather that leadto the big fire. Still, a large number of tourists come to the park forsight-seeing after the fire in 1988. This makes the final point in the passageindefensible.

小结：
修改的时候其实木有再听一遍，对照了自己写的部分。赶脚：
1. 仰视lz的听力和词汇量
2. 句子结构显得简短清晰，很易懂，这是我的感觉。
3. 跟上次和lz互攻的综合相比，有一点点仓促的感觉（是因为时间吗。。。），也木有总结了（木有总结都写260多呀QAQ）
感觉始终保持在高山仰止好好学习的位置上肿么破~~~~~~~~~~爆发呀小宇宙。。。

anafkn

pennywu20 发表于 2013-5-14 20:16
不好意思啊，先发给你综合，一会发独立

顺便：那啥，lz不好意思，独立完成后我12：30前改好行么？9：30-11：00中间有事情。。。不好意思啊~~~~~

pennywu20

5月13号独立
瞎堆上去的，逻辑也不严密，凑合着帮我改改，见谅啊

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
People should buy things made by their own country, even if things of other countries may cost less?
Nowadays，products made by various countries are available for people to purchase, due to the trade liberalization and globalization. When concern whether people are responsible to purchase the goods made by their own country even if things of other countries are less expensive, I believe that it is unwise for people to do so.

First, purchasing things less expensive is favorable to the benefits of consumers’ themselves. Consumers only need to speed less money to enjoy the same amount of utility by choosing to buy less expensive foreign goods. For instance, if people need to buy a new camera, one choice is to purchase a foreign camera which costs $600, and another is a domestic one which costs $680, with the same quality, which will people prefer? It is conceivable that it is wiser to save this $80. People can utilize this amount of money to fulfill other requirements of themselves, such as taking their children to have a nice day in Disneyland. Thus, people’s benefits do be enlarged by choosing more economical merchandise.

Also, the productivity and innovation ability of domestic enterprises will be motivated. Competitions will arise, if consumers are eager to purchase foreign products. In order to maintain the formal market share, enterprises are motivated to lower production cost and make improvements in other aspects of products. The Haier corporation is the leading refrigerator producer in China. It occupied more than 60% market shares in China in the 1990s. Later, when other advanced and cheaper refrigerator brands, such as Siemens were introduced to China, the Haier experienced a drop in market share. To get rid of this plight, Haier research methods to make improvements. Now Haier refrigerator is more economical, energy-saving, beautiful and always meets the requirements of consumers.

Finally, it may trigger negative disorder in the international trade. Trade barriers will arise if people only buy merchandise made by own country. According to the World Trade Organization, market in a country should obey the Non-discriminatory, fair trade principle, which means that people should equally treat foreign merchandises when making their economic decisions. If people treat foreign products as inferiors, things that exported to other countries may also be treated unfriendly and unfairly. Consequently, conflicts and disorders will arise within the world market

To sum up, since people will obtain more economic benefits, domestic enterprises will be motivated and the international trade will be less disordered, it is unnecessary for people to take domestic products as their only choice.