11.7 独立写作,求拍砖,谢谢亲们~

lizchang1990

11月23日  (耗时33分钟,超时拉~~~~)
独立 Agree or disagree：Your job has greater happiness than your social life

Happiness likes a scare green rose that a great many people yearn to pick it up during their short lives. Now, here comes a thorny issue toward which element will contribute most to it. Does one person’s job overweighs the social life about above question? From my perspective, individual’s job does bring greater happiness.

Even though social life is colorful and full of joys, an undeniable fact now is that we are living in a fast booming society and people spend more time on their career, we do have a little time with our relatives and friends together. Clearly, the only direct connections with our lives are our jobs. According to A theory of Human Motivation Psychological Review which was written by Marlos, only when people address the fundamental needs for living can they achieve higher goal such as happiness. In another words, if we are starving and worrying about our own living conditions, it is impossible for us to consider other ambitions. In reality, job can provide us the basic needs. When we get a well-paid job, we can get rid off the plight and live a happy life.

Job can bring us the sense of belonging and achievement, which is vital factor to people’s pleasant lives result in happiness. Nowadays, the physical manifestations of rapid social change surround us, affecting almost everything we do. The way we work, the way job is supplied. I do believe that most of us want to reach a higher position because it can elevate our inner acknowledgement and create unimaginable spiritual pleasure. These intangible assets from extra mental bonus can keep for a long time and stimulate the sense of happiness from the bottom of our hearts.

One more thing that I want to mention is that a huge success from work can double our happiness. For instance, Andrew Carnegie, a Scottish-American industrialist, who lead the enormous expansion of American steel industry. His first job in the United States was as a worker in a bobbin company. Later on he became a bill logger for the owner of that corporation. Eventually, he progressed up the ranks of a telegraph organization. In the end, he built his own steel industry. Meanwhile, he was also an important philanthropist in his era. To him, the series of successes in his life create a large amount of money result in dedicating greater happiness by helping those who were extremely in want of help.

Given all these reasons I mentioned above, I firmly believe that job can benefit us a lot than the social life. Hence, next time when you are crave for greater happiness, why not choose a satisfying job?

lmylacoste

The listening passage and the reading passage uphold completely opposite opinions. The speaker claims that fence, volunteer and disease-causing virus are not effective measures to stop the spread of the cane toad in Australia. This assertion totally refutes the viewpoint in the article.

According to the professor, young cane toad and its eggs are living in the water such as streams, which directly contradicts the author's perspective that a fence prevent the toads from moving into those parts of Australia that they have not yet colonized.(最好是将后面的原因联系起来，不然感觉句子的意思断了哈) The professor demonstrates that water can push eggs get through the fence to the other side. Hence, this method is obviously infeasible.

Moreover, the lecturer casts doubt on the second reason in the reading, which suggests that volunteers can capture and destroy these toads. He makes the points that untrained volunteers will cause negative effect on native species which are endangering(后要接宾语的)—>endangered. In addition, it is really hard for them to distinguish the native toads from the cane toads when they are young.

Finally, the instructor challenges the statement in the passage, which indicates that a disease-causing virus can control the cane toad populations. He explains that this infected species from Australia can reach America.（可以加点这种toad从ASU到AME是怎么过去的） As a result, these toads will cause damage to key native reptile species（好像是影响那些在美国的同类~） in South of America.

In sum, it is obviously that the presenter discerns successfully the inaccuracies in each of these argument in the article and he has absolutely different ideas on the topic in the reading.



恩，要让字数变得更多一点，其他很好

lmylacoste

Happiness likes a scare green rose that a great many people yearn to pick it up during their short lives. Now, here comes a thorny issue toward which element will contribute most to it.（很有文采）Does one person’s job overweighs the social life about （可以跟确切点譬如as the answer to）above question? From my perspective, individual’s job does bring greater happiness.

Even though social life is colorful and full of joys, an undeniable fact now is that we are living in a fast booming society and people spend more time on their career, we do have a little time with our relatives and friends together. Clearly, the only direct connections with our lives are our jobs. According to A theory of Human Motivation Psychological Review which was written by Marlos（指的是不是这个？Maslow's hierarchy of needs）, only when people address the fundamental needs for living can they achieve higher goal such as happiness. In another words,（既让文章清楚，又加了字数！） if we are starving and worrying about our own living conditions, it is impossible for us to consider other ambitions. In reality, job can provide us the basic needs. When we get a well-paid job, we can get rid of（给个phrase参考一下哈emerge from） the plight and live a happy life.

Job can bring us the sense of belonging and achievement, which is—>are vital factor to people’s pleasant lives result in happiness.(结构好像稍显混乱，后面result in happiness实际可以删去) Nowadays, the physical manifestations（这个词组身体反应？） of rapid social change surround us, affecting almost everything we do. The way we work, the way job is supplied. I do believe that most of us want to reach a higher position because it can elevate our inner acknowledgement 好像没有这个词组。。。—>sense of self-identity and create unimaginable spiritual pleasure. These intangible assets from extra mental bonus can keep for a long time and stimulate the sense of happiness from the bottom of our hearts.

One more thing that I want to mention is that a huge success from work can double our happiness. For instance, Andrew Carnegie, a Scottish-American industrialist, who lead the enormous expansion of American steel industry. His first job in the United States was as a worker in a bobbin company. Later on he became a bill logger for the owner of that corporation. Eventually, he progressed up the ranks of a telegraph organization. In the end, he built his own steel industry. Meanwhile, he was also an important philanthropist in his era. To him, the series of successes in his life create a large amount of money result in dedicating greater happiness by helping those who were extremely in want of help.

最后最好加一句AC非常开心

Given all these reasons I mentioned above, I firmly believe that job can benefit us a lot than the social life. Hence, next time when you are crave for greater happiness, why not choose a satisfying job?



首尾段文采斐然

前两个分论点很好，第三个应该算是第二个的补充？

写的很好，又学了很多词汇~

lizchang1990

11月24
独立 Agree or disagree: it is impossible to be completely honest with your friend.
综合 TPO14

Friendship is like a scarce fragrant green rose that a great many people yearn to pick it up during their short lives. Now here comes a thorny issue towards that whether it is possible for people to keep completely honest to their friends? From my perspective, people shouldn’t maintain honest to their partners all the time.

Everybody has his or her privacy, we should respect others’ right. Although honesty is one of the most important virtues for us to consider when we make a friend, we actually cannot deny the fact that we hope we can have our own secrets, which are personal and special things for us. This part in our bottom of heart like a pure paradise, we don’t hope anyone to destroy it. From rational viewpoint, we can see fairly honesty is hard for us to keep.

However compelling these cases may sound, we cannot overshadow the significant role that proper space between bona fide friends plays in friendship. On the other hand, excessive interference on partners’ privacy and enforce our friends to be honest will endanger our relationships. Consider two of my classmates as an example, Jessica and Rose were really good friends, they always ate, studied and went shopping together. In our eyes, it is impossible for us to believe they quarreled and their friendship had walked to the end. Later I asked Jessica about the reason. She told me that Rose always wanted her to tell anything her knew, after a long time, this thing drove her crazy. Jessica wanted to have her own free space rather than being supervised. I learn a lesson from this case, even we are best friends, sometimes we should leave room to allow counterpart to have his or her own life, and if we pursuit 100 percentages of honesty, our friendship will not keep for a long time.

One more thing I want to mention is that objective circumstances may contribute to incompletely honest. Nowadays, the rapid changes in our society and fierce competition in the business realm impose many burdens on our modern lives. These series of factors sometimes force us to tell a lie. For example, merchant often cover up some defects of their products to their friend. It is profits that they tend to choose to tell lies. We cannot blame these merchants, because it is their status force them to do it, we cannot avoid such a case when we enter the real working environment.

Given all these reasons I mentioned above, I firmly believe that it is hard and also impossible for us to keep 100% honesty to our friends. To keep our friendship enduring or have a better life, why should we require others to keep totally honest?

lizchang1990

The listening passage and reading passage uphold totally opposite opinions. The professor illustrates that the benefits of salvage logging are questionable.

To begin with, the speaker contradicts the author's perspective that salvage logging removes the remains of dead trees and makes room for fresh growth immediately. He demonstrates that removing dead trees can not create right conditions for other tree growing. On the contrary, decomposed trees can rich the soil and create suitable lands for future generations. Therefore, this advantage is fairly unwarranted.

Moreover, the lecturer casts doubt on the second reason in the passage, which suggests that rotting wood can cause harmful insects emerging and insect infestation will destroy the health of the forest. He makes the points that the spruce bark beetle have live in the habitat where the spruce trees grow for hundreds of years but causing no damage to that area. In fact, moving the dead trees will destroy the suitable land for new plants. Hence, the method in the article will pose more harmful influence than insect do.

Finally, the instructor challenges the statement in the reading that salvage has economic benefits. He explains that salvage logging is small and cannot last for a long time. In addition, the vehicle which made by salvage logging are expensive to maintain. What's more, jobs that are provided by many industries are only temporary, and they usually hire more experienced workers from outside place than local residents.

In sum, it is obviously that the presenter discerns the inaccuracies in each of these arguments in the article and he has absolutely different ideas on the topic in the passage.

daisyrong

先来综合吧，独立我还需要点时间，我白天要上课，不好意思The listening passage and reading passageuphold totally opposite opinions. The professor illustrates that the benefitsof salvage logging are questionable.


To begin with, the speaker contradicts theauthor's perspective that salvage logging removes the remains of dead trees andmakes room for fresh growth immediately. He demonstrates that removing deadtrees can not (cannot连写，估计这里是不小心吧) create right conditions for other tree growing. On the contrary,decomposed trees can rich（rich 是adj. enrich） the soil and create suitable lands for futuregenerations. Therefore, this advantage is fairly unwarranted.
（这里的suitable land我觉得不是很恰当。suitable condition/ habitat/ environment 应该都可以）
Moreover, the lecturer casts doubt on thesecond reason in the passage, which suggests (这个从句好像有点问题，我不知道which指代什么，是lecturer的doubt？还是“second reasons”)that rotting (adj. rotten) wood can cause harmful insectsemerging and insect infestation will destroy the health of the forest. He makesthe points that the spruce bark beetle have live (时态) in the habitat where the spruce trees grow for hundreds of yearsbut causing no damage to that area. In fact, moving （move只是移动的意思，应该是move to +地点，此处应该是移除的意思，remove比较合适）the dead trees willdestroy the suitable landfor new plants. Hence, the method in the article will pose more harmfulinfluence than insects do.

Finally, the instructor challenges thestatement in the reading that salvage logginghas economic benefits. He explains that salvagelogging (应该是benefit很小而且不能持久)is small and cannotlast for a long time. In addition, the vehicle which made (怎么能说“made”呢，这些vehicle是用来salvage logging的)by salvage logging are too expensive to maintain. What's more, jobs thatare provided by many industries are only temporary, and they usually hire moreexperienced workers from outside place than local residents. （这里and连接的应该是两个并列的句子，所以没听过原文的人，会自动把后半句的“they”理解成为“jobs”即前一句的主语，这样后半句就不对了）

In sum, it is obviously（这里不应该用副词） that the presenter discerns the inaccuracies in each of thesearguments in the article and he has absolutely different ideas on the topic inthe passage. （结尾怪怪的，翻译过来是“很明显，presenter 指出了文中各个argument的inaccuracies, 并且他有跟passage不同的观点” ，按我的逻辑应该是“这个presenter持有跟文中完全不同的观点，并且指明了每个argument的weakness/inaccuracy）

daisyrong

Friendship is like a scarce fragrant green rose that a great manypeople yearn to pick it up during their short lives.Now here comes a thorny issue towards that whether it is possible for people tokeep completely honest to their friends? From my perspective, people shouldn’tmaintain honest to their partners all the time.

Everybody has his or her privacy, we shouldrespect others’ right. Although honesty is one of the most important virtuesfor us to consider when we make a friend, we actually cannot deny the fact that we hope we can have our own secrets, which arepersonal and special things for us. （这一句好多“we”啊，看得我有些头晕）This part in our bottom ofheart like(如果我没分析错，like在这里是“像”的意思，是介词，所以本句没有谓语动词) a pure paradise, we don’t hope anyone to destroy it. From rationalviewpoint, we can see fairly honesty is hard for us to keep.

However compelling asthese cases may sound, we cannot overshadow the significant role that properspace between bona fide friends plays in friendship. On the other hand,excessive interference on partners’ privacy and enforce our friends to behonest will endanger our relationships(按照GMAT的语法来说，这里用and连接的两个句子不并列). Consider two of myclassmates as an example, （我觉得这句话说完了，应该用句号或者冒号） Jessica and Rosewere really good friends, they always ate, studied and went shopping together. In our eyes, it is impossible for us to believethey quarreled and their friendship had walked to the end. （又是“in our eyes”，又是for us”觉得有些重复累赘）Later Iasked Jessica about the reason. She told me that Rose always wanted （我觉得“wanted”有点简单，而且好像不怎么用，required的吧） her to tell anything her knew, after a long time, this thing droveher crazy. ( “after a long time“之前的那句话应该说完了吧，后面应该句号把两句分开，或者用从句吧) Jessica wanted （单词上可以变换一下花样expected）to have her own freespace rather than being supervised. I learn a lesson from this case, (我还是觉得都好在这不合适，应该冒号，或者+that)even we are best friends, sometimes we should leaveroom to allow counterpart to have his or her own life （space）, andif we pursuit 100 percentages of honesty, our friendship will not keep for along time.

One more thing I want to mention is thatobjective circumstances may contribute to incompletely honesty. Nowadays, the rapid changes in our society andfierce competition in the business realm impose many burdens on our modernlives. These series of factors sometimes force us to tell a lie. For example,merchants often cover up some defects of their productsto their friend. It is profits that they tend to choose to tell lies(是想用强调句吧，“It’sprofit that make them to tell lies). We cannot blamethese merchants, because it is their status thatforce them to do it, and we cannot avoidsuch a case when we enter the real working environment.

Given all these reasons I mentioned above,I firmly believe that it is hard and also impossible for us to keep 100%honesty to our friends. To keep our friendship enduring or have a better life,why should we require others to keep totally honest?
(楼主有些句子有点长，连接词不是很多，可以适当改短点，或者用些从句；可以在句式的花样，和词的替换上下点功夫)