发散思维，很容易跑题的TWE159讨论

emma-maple

159. The twentieth century saw great change. In your opinion, what is one change that should be remembered about the twentieth century? Use specific reasons and details to explain your choice.这是我911生平第一次考托福时遇到的作文，第一时间想到的topic就是Internet，然后就一气呵成。自我感觉良好，结果回到家就开始心虚，觉得有点跑题，拿到成绩一看4分，那个伤心啊。昨天花了半天时间琢磨，发现真是挺不好把握。虽说题目要求阐述一个变化，可是展开分析的时候发现变化套着变化，真是头疼。第二遍比起考场上的那篇已经好很多了。大家帮忙看看吧。谢谢了！

In retrospect, so many changes have occurred in the past century along with the rapid advancement of technology. So when it comes to the question as to what is the change that should be remembered about the 20^th century, people likely to provide various opinions. As far as I am concerned, the telecommunication change is the very one. It has a profound influence on people’s life. I will elaborate my views as follows.

The most pertinent reason for my view is that the telecommunication change provides people more diversified methods to obtain information. Compared with the people in the 19^th century who learned news only from local newspapers, people in the 20^th century can get information via the radio, the satellite television, and the Internet. Thus enable the people to learn more information in more extensive areas.

The second reason that can not be ignored is that communication is more efficient ascribed to the telecommunication change. Before the 20^th century, the majority of people have to rely on post system to mail letters. It always took people several days or weeks or even more time. Some wealthy people could use telephone, but the telephone network was undeveloped with poor quality. With the advent of the Internet in the closing decades of the 20^th century, the rate of information communication grows by exponential leaps. It takes people only few seconds to send an email through the Internet. Thus provide efficiency to the modern society.

The last but not least, the telecommunication change brought convenience to today’s people that was unavailable to the people before the 20^th century. Wireless network and cell phone system enable the people to communicate anywhere anytime. Therefore people can enjoy themselves in a more convenient and more personal communication process.

In conclusion, based on the three reasons I presented above, the telecommunication change in the 20^th century provides tremendous benefits to people. The contribution of the telecommunication change has been widely recognized as a critical issue. It should be remembered and entered into the story of the 20^th century.

342words

dengzi

报纸杂志也是20世纪的产物吧？19世纪有这些吗？just kidding，呵呵

emma-maple

报纸具体是哪个世纪的产物我不清楚，但你如果读过托福阅读97年10月一篇介绍美国印刷界的女性的文章时，你会发现18世纪已经有报纸了。Anyway, 谢谢你的讨论参与。

guandream

以下是引用emma-maple在2004-11-4 1:52:00的发言：

159. The twentieth century saw great change. In your opinion, what is one change that should be remembered about the twentieth century? Use specific reasons and details to explain your choice.这是我911生平第一次考托福时遇到的作文，第一时间想到的topic就是Internet，然后就一气呵成。自我感觉良好，结果回到家就开始心虚，觉得有点跑题，拿到成绩一看4分，那个伤心啊。昨天花了半天时间琢磨，发现真是挺不好把握。虽说题目要求阐述一个变化，可是展开分析的时候发现变化套着变化，真是头疼。第二遍比起考场上的那篇已经好很多了。大家帮忙看看吧。谢谢了！

In retrospect, so many changes have occurred in the past century along with the rapid advancement of technology.(when you mention "so..." I anitcipate what happens next) So when it comes to the question as to what is the change that should be remembered about the 20^th century,(this sentence is very awkward) people are likely to provide various opinions. As far as I am concerned, the telecommunication change is the very one. It has a profound influence on people’s life. I will elaborate my views as follows.(donot make a lot of mistake in the introduction part--so-called the first impression)"clear, direct and consice" are very important for the writing.

The most pertinent reason for my view is that the telecommunication change provides people more diversified methods to obtain information. Compared with the people in the 19^th century who learned news only from local newspapers, people in the 20^th century can get information via the radio, the satellite television, and the Internet. Thus enable the people to learn more information in more extensive areas.(here, if you want to discuss Internet, please forget others. otherwise, there is irrelated information)

The second reason that can not be ignored is that communication is more efficient ascribed to the telecommunication change. Before the 20^th century, the majority of people have to rely on post system to mail letters. It always took people several days or weeks or even more time. Some wealthy people could use telephone, but the telephone network was undeveloped with poor quality. With the advent of the Internet in the closing decades of the 20^th century, the rate of information communication grows by exponential leaps. It takes people only few seconds to send an email through the Internet. Thus this creation provides efficiency to the modern society.

very good.

The last but not least, the telecommunication change brought convenience to today’s people that was unavailable to the people before the 20^th century. Wireless network and cell phone system enable the people to communicate anywhere anytime. Therefore people can enjoy themselves in a more convenient and more personal communication process.

In conclusion, based on the three reasons I presented above, the telecommunication change in the 20^th century provides tremendous benefits to people.(provide sb with sth) The contribution of the telecommunication change has been widely recognized as a critical issue. It should be remembered and entered into the story of the 20^th century.

good conclusion

342words

it is a good essay. I think that it can score 5.0.

if I write this topic, I will organize it in this way: productivity(factory), communication, and life style( e-bey, paying bills, shopping).

from your several essays, I believe that you can score 5 for the next time.

practice makes perfect.

emma-maple

谢谢版主批改。我会加油加油！