Issue 32 求指导~~只有3天了> <

konatsu

32) College students should base their choice of a field of study on the availability of jobs in that field.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim. In developing and supporting your position, be sure to address the most compelling reasons and/or examples that could be used to challenge your position.

近40min，533w...

提纲：（当场写的）
合理：容易找工作/实践
不合理：1 study不能evaluate by job
              2 多人选—找工作变难—动态平衡关系
其他：college courses, career center


The current decades has witnessed increasingly fierce competition in the job market. In some case when a top company plans to recruit one employee, there are even thousands of candidates involved in the competition. As far as I am concerned, it is true that standing in present, the fields of study in college can be roughly classified as those with optimistic availability of jobs, including finance, law, computer, engineer, biology, and those with pessimistic availability of jobs, taking archaeology, geometry, ornithology as examples. It is totally comprehensible that some college students choose their fields of study according to the accessibility to jobs. However, when we see this phenomenon in some other perspective, it would be irrational to make such a decision.


Admittedly a field of study with a close relationship with job opportunities is of great attraction for college students. During their study, chances are high to participate in internship or part-time jobs, which not only let them put knowledge into practice, but provide an odds to take a inspection of the job itself and explore the true interest deep in the students' personality.


But what is study? What do students enter college for? Some would say it is for better job, though, the essence of study is far more than it. Study is an approach to satisfy one's desire inside for exploring the nature, the humanity, and the eternal wisdom and spirit, a path leading to self conscious realization, a beacon lighting the shadow of life. The value of study cannot be hastily judged by job opportunity, but one’s interest as a more crucial factor. In the impressive Indian movie Three Idiots, Farhan, one of heroes, was obliged to study engineering, a major with promising career opportunity, while deep inside his real dream was to become a wildlife photographer. Not surprisingly he was depressed and the academic performance was poor. Not until he gained freedom to pursuit his dream did he start to shine with euphoria. Job merely offers a possible way to make a living, but it is interest that motivates the desire for study and, moreover, enriches one’s life, where the choice of academic field should truly stand.


Additionally, it is necessary for students to realize that availability of jobs for various fields of study is in a dynamic change, which undermines the utility of choosing fields that are closer to jobs. From an overall view, even for those job-available majors, the amount of job opportunities has its limitation. With most students involved, inevitably there will also be severe competitions. While if few students choose unpopular fields, they will face with comparatively more chances to be admitted to an ideal job. Therefore, attempt to ensure job opportunities by choosing popular fields may not achieve its original purpose.


Are there other solutions to reconcile academic interest with demand for jobs? It may be a possible means that college equips students with courses on preparations for jobs. And the career center is supposed to connect more with job market and provide valuable advice and information on career path for students of different fields of study, which will help students to obtain their ideal work and consider their own career development more comprehensively.


=================================

超时了，让步段没有分析出来，非常不均衡
在抛模板，结果结构和语言都有些混乱。自己的风格和固定表达应该定型，提纲要再写细一点
特别膜拜用描写性语言把例子一串，不时点一下说理，但是语言水平不够
时间非常紧了，求拍一下，结构、逻辑和语言最好都看看，非常非常感谢！！！

竹林中人

LZ一战的作文分数3.5分，其实也还行额
这篇文章，感觉是很有失衡了，第三段很长，后面两段略短，而且结尾段总结不太明显
我的想法如下：
1.承认这个建议的一定合理性，如你所言
2.强调学生在学习上的主动作用，而不应以社会的需求强制他们学什么，最重要的是发现学生的兴趣和激发他们自己的潜能
3.这个措施可能带来的不好影响，比如造成所谓的“热门专业”和“冷门专业”，不利于学科的健康发展，最终也是对社会不利的，同时对个人找工作带来不利