loveluyuanbai的作文帖 狠批~~

loveluyuanbai

106823

-- by 会员 fuzhengrui (2012/9/22 13:17:02)

有些地方改得很好 我一定努力改正！

loveluyuanbai

9月22日
it is more enjoyable to have a job, and you work only 3 days a week with long hours rather rhan work for 5 days with short hours a day

Nowadays,with the rapid development of the economy and varied working patterns of people,it is really hard to pick out the most enjoyable working pattern which is favorable to all staffs from really diverse operations.But,if I must choose one working pattern from the two options,perhaps the more intensive way of working is more favor to me .
There is no denying that the more intensive way working compared with the incompact way of working can really help people get focus on the certain things.The volume of the task is fixed,all that we have to do is to trigger all the cells of bodys to face with it,not some ways of relaxed breaks or inattentive working.Someone would state that intensive working seems inhumane,But if you refer to the fact that some famous persons such as Madame Curie,she almost devoted all her life to the working of physics,will you say she was not enjoyable about what she had done.Absolute not.Someone who want to work that intensive to certain field must have the total ture love of what he or she is working,no matter how intensive working pattern it is .
Furthermore,the more intensive working pattern will induce the more efficient working during manufacting,which on the other hand will exert more time for doing other things.In recent era ,the statistics show that there are more and more employees have developed diverse interests of doing other stuffs which are not in relationship with what they are doing in their careers.The employee with intensive working pattern will easily handle the schedule of their daily life.They will have more time for their families,their friends,they will get into the area which their interest really lies in.During this period,most of the employees with the intensive working patterns will enjoy their lifes.
Admittedly,may be the more incompact way of working will diminish the current pressure at the first time.And they will have more time daily to get close to their lifes,but they will never relieve their working stuffs when they having fun with their kids,they will never really turn to what they like when they have to figure out some tough questions that working put to them.
In conclusion,it is more enjoyable to set our working patterns intensively,only in this way can we focus on what we are doing at certain time and have time to do some interesting things.

xeyyxzty

Nowadays,withthe rapid development of the economy and varied working patterns of people,itis really hard to pick out the most enjoyable working pattern which isfavorable to all staffs from really diverse operations(请问哈，这个在这里是什么意思).But,if I must choose one working pattern from the twooptions,perhaps the more intensive way of working is more favor to me (favorable to me怎么样，或者is my favor).
There is no denying that the more intensive wayworking compared with the incompact way of working can really help people getfocus on the certain things.Thevolume of the task is fixed,all that we have to do is to trigger all the cellsof bodys to face with it（两个动词咯~应该句号，或者加一个连词，例如and~同时可能我真的很水哈，没有看懂第二句话~捂脸） ,not some ways of relaxedbreaks or inattentive working.Someone would state that intensive working seemsinhumane,But if you refer to the fact that some famous persons(people) suchas Madame Curie,she almost devoted all her life to the working of physics,willyou say she was not enjoyable about(我不是很确定是不是用这个词哈~) what she had done.Absolute not（是不是有点过于口语化呢~个人感觉哈~仅供参考）.Someone whowants to work thatintensive to certain field must have the total ture(true) love of what he or she isworking,no matter how intensive working pattern it is(个人喜欢这个形式哈：how intensive the working pattern is) .
Furthermore,the more intensive working pattern will inducethe more efficient working efficiency during manufacturing,which on the other hand will exert more time for doingother things.In recent era(不确定能不能这么用哈~) ,thestatistics show that there are more and more employees have developed diverse interests of (in) doing otherstuffs which are not in relationship(relative) with what they are doing in their careers.The employee withintensive working pattern will easily handle the schedule of their dailylife.They will have more time for their families,their friends,they will getinto the area which their interest really lies in.During this period,(亲~不是很清楚这个的指代哈)most of the employeeswith the intensive working patterns will enjoy their lifes.
Admittedly,may be the more incompact way ofworking will diminish the current pressure at the first time.And they（没有指代呀~） will have more time daily to get close totheir lifes,but they will never relieve their working stuffs when they havingfun with their kids,they will never really turn to what they like when theyhave to figure out some tough questions that working put to them.
In conclusion,it is more enjoyable to set ourworking patterns intensively,only in this way can we focus on what we are doingat certain time and have time to do some interesting things.


有一个小问题哈~既然两种工作方式已经用不同的词汇表达了~为什么前面都加上了比较级呢？个人感觉没有必要哈
还有就是代词的问题，they什么的不明确具体内容~

loveluyuanbai

9.23
The competition between friends always has negative effect

The relationship in the friend level is always considered the most important asset to everyone,especially for someone who is gregarious and always hang out with friends.But if these persons get involved in competitions with their congenial friends,what would they like to do?Do they really have to get messed up and entangled in order to handle this situation?From my perspective,I hardly think that way for the following reasons.
If the friends who you have to face with are some best friends of you,you really need not to worry about the competition.The real friends can always stand by you at any time.what you should do is never sacrifice or suffer some inevitable trouble,instead,the competition can always set as a bridge for you and your best friends.The involved competition such as the academic contests in high school or physical matches in the gym classes,can be a push in your relationship.During these compretitions,there is no doubt that you will figure out who are the real friends of you.So,in this case, never ignore these competitions,they are always indispensable opptunities.
Furthermore,the competition on the other hand can stand as a monitor to you,which can feed you some drawbacks,you will eventually be aware of some weakness or some defects as well.During the contest,though your friends are the competitors who you need to beat,the relationship will always let you and your friends know that be a good advicer may be helpful otherwise.In this case, be a good advicer not a competitor may be a double win for both you and your friends,which can exert a huge motivation for you.Statistics show evidence that a great motivation can push people forward and give them a positive influence on both social communication and daily life.Therefore,the competition between you and your friends will provide nothing bad but a power impulse for you.
Admittedly, some fierce competitions may  hinder your relationship with you friends,for some unsettled problems,some terminated communications.If these problems are not well handled,they will magnified and jeopardize all the effort that we have to put in to fix the relationship.Only if the relationship is solid and firm,can you get a well consequence.Obviously,the positive effects of the competition outweigh the negative ones.
In conclusion,from what I state above, competitions between friends are not always have negative effects.If we carefully deal with the communications and some trivial problems with our friends and treat our friendship prudentially,even competitions can not really impair everyone,instead,they will give you extra energy to overcome some more intricate stuffs.

fuzhengrui

如果有说错的地方欢迎指出来

loveluyuanbai

10.5
Do you agree or disagree: It is much easier for people to achieve success without families’ help than in the past.

Nowadays,there is a heated debate over the issue whether people achieve success easier without families’s help in the recent years compared to in the past.Generally speaking,this is a kind of tough question for us to judge.But, from my perspective, I hardly think so for the following reasons.

In the first place, today,we are all in this kind of complex society,which are full of urges and benefits.Then look back to us,you and me,just kinds of solo people without our families.When we really want to get close to success,we always find us too young to distinguish what are the true facts and what are the fake things.In this case, how can we  survive in this unpredictable world.Also,the world are filled with enormous competitions,how can we handle these fierce competitions by ourselves.There is no denying that some people have ambitions and want to make it by their own efforts,and may be during tremendous efforts, they will success all by their own.However for most of regular people with limited patience and inexperienced life,it is hard to achieve success without families’help in recent era.
Furthermore,today children are getting a kind of close relationship with their parents.On the other hand,look adversely,children are more dependent on their parents today.In this case,it will exert a negative influence on children in the path of success.Some children may suffer crises when they are facing with the social problems,and the first thing they want to do is tell something to their parents.Some children may be willing to go home and live with their parents because they do not get along with their colleagues.All these problems will emerge when chilren really get into society in recent years.
Admittedly,in past years children will also experience some types of problems in the path of success lacking families’help.However,in the past,because of the limited academic study of parents,similar inexperienced lives and the confined districts,parents can have a more diminutive effect on their children,especially for issues about doing some innovative stuffs or moving to some places where they have never been before.So, In the past, most of children would like to move to a new city and struggle to live by their own.
In the final , my point in this issue is given above,nowadays children who want to suceed will be more depentent on their parents,and it is important for children to get help from their parents.

bonnenuit

Nowadays,there is a heated debate over the issue whether people achieve success easier without families’s help in the(这个冠词可不要） recent years compared to in the past.Generally speaking,this is a kind of tough question for us to judge.But, from my perspective, I hardly think so for the following reasons.

In the first place, today,we are all in this kind of complex society,which are(is) full of urges and benefits.Then look back to us,you and me,just kinds of solo people without our families(这句话表达的太口语了，不适合在写作上运用）.When we really want to get close to success,we always find us too young to distinguish what are the（这个冠词和后面这个也可省略） true facts and what are the fake things.In this case, how can we  survive in this unpredictable world.Also,the world are（is） filled with enormous competitions,how can we handle these fierce competitions by ourselves.There is no denying that some people have ambitions and want to make it by their own efforts,and may be（改成maybe，当你把句子语序重新组一下你就会发现may be分开有问题） during tremendous efforts, they will success all by their own.However for most of regular people with limited patience and inexperienced life,it is hard to achieve success without families’help in recent era.
Furthermore,today children are getting（get感觉不是很恰当，可以换一下hold啊神马的） a kind of close relationship with their parents.On the other hand,look adversely,children are more dependent on their parents today.In this case,it will exert a negative influence on children in the path of success（这句表达有点奇怪）.Some children may suffer crises when they are facing with the（去掉这个冠词，没有特指） social problems,and the first thing they want to do is tell（telling） something to their parents.Some children may be willing to go home and live with their parents because they do not get along with their colleagues.All these problems will emerge when chilren really get into society in recent years.
Admittedly,in past years children will（用过去式，前面以前提到in the past) also experience some types of problems in the path of success lacking families’help.However,in the past,because of the limited academic study of parents,similar inexperienced lives(不可数） and the（去掉） confined districts,parents can have a more diminutive effect on their children,especially for issues about doing some innovative stuffs or moving to some places where they have never been before.So, In the past, most of children would like to move to a new city and struggle to live by their own.
In the final , my point in this issue is given above,nowadays children who want to suceed will be more depentent on their parents,and it is important for children to get help from their parents.

文章结构不错，使用了丰富的衔接词和过渡词
但要注意语法，比如时态问题，冠词
切记在写作文的时候 不要写的太口语话 有时句法口语上行的通 但在写作上还是被判为病句的
还有格式也要注意 标点符号后面也好空一格
还有很大的上升空间 多练练吧

loveluyuanbai

10.7
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement:The government and corporation should share all their scientific discoveries with other countries in the world?

Nowadays,there is a heated debate over the issue whether the government and corporation should share all their scientific discoveries with other countries in the world.Obiviouly,all is a kind of absolute word and can not serve the purposes of all countries in the world.Here, some of the scientific discoveries may be shared with other countries in case of other important discoveries are protected.In this case,I am not in favor of the opinion for the following reasons.
In the first place,some of the scientific discoveries may contain some crucial information,which will do a lot harm to the country unless it is  safely protected.There are enormaous scientific discoveries always have vital relationship with citizens of the country.Such discoveries as military weapons are also kind of scientific technology that should be highly confined and restricted.Not only can not share with other countries,but also have to conduct and experiment secretly.So, in this way, the scientific discoveries especially something that matters the citizens of the country can not beshared with other countries.
Furthermore,if the scientific discoveries which have a vital influence of the country are protected.Another reason should also be considered first.That is the so-called entitled right of the discovery.That may get in the way when the country share the scentific discovery with other countries freely ,eventually the cost of the invention can not be covered and the motivation of the country may heavily jeopardized.Here,like the new biological research which will have a tremendous influence of people.If it is shared with other countries without carefully entitled protections,the kind of inovative research will not have such a creative effect.In this case, the countriy which invent the inovation would not be that willing to give another shot to other inventions.In other words,some of the scientific discoveries should be protected and entitled legally.
Admittedly,we do not totally deny the share with scientific discoveries can on the other hand contribute to some fields,especially some discoveries contain the human rights of all races or the environment of the world.These kinds of subjects matters the whole humans and the whole world,and we should spare no effort to collect the datas,conduct the surveys,make kinds of charts,ect.Eventually we should share the effort of all countries to make our life more harmonious.However,nowadays the scientific discoveries which raised from the specific country or for the aimed subject that matters the citizen of sole country weighs more,though some subjects aim at all human rights.
In conclusion,as I have raised above,in recent years, the scientific discoveries should not share with other countries,especially something that matters the citizen of the country.Apart from the former reason,only if the entitled rights of the discovery are given and protected carefully,scientific discoveries can be shared with other countries unrestricted.

loveluyuanbai

10.8
People who move out of their native village or town are more successful and happier than who stay in their native village or town for their whole life. A\D

Today,people especially someone in modern cities are getting a intimate relationship with their native viliages or towns.Probably due to the significant scenery of the environment in the native villages.But it does not mean that stationarily stay in the native villages can make a huge difference.While on the other hand,people who move out of their native villages might be more successful and happier for the following reasons.

In the first place,stay in their native villages and do not even move out can always be considerd somewhat conservative,which will do a lot harm to the future of people.Taking it into account we will find out some successful people always urge to make inovation and do a enormous creative stuffs in their lives.While someone who always want to stay in their hometowns and do not make a move may always suffer from high degrees of unemployment.Moreover,someone who always want to stay in their villages can put a lot of dependent on their parents,which will in the other way jeopardize the way of self-surviving.Obviously,people in recent years should always get out of their native villages and take a whole picture of the society.

Furthermore,it is important for people especially for the adults to well equipped themselves and prepare the material basis for the next generantion.Consider the native hometown,which may in the case stand for the interior education,bad living standard,somewhat confined transportation,ect.The next genernation someday come into life may face with the same crisis as we do.As to us,grown to be parents,it is hard for us to endure the moment when our children have a difficult time.So in this way, it is a better choice for people to move out of their native villages and start a bright future.

Admittedly,moving out of the native villages and start a life in other cities do not mean that we are having a terribe lives in our villages.Adversely,our native villages are abound in natural materials and they are special sights for us to enjoy enen in our workdays.I really recommend that we can fortify our homes in someplaces which nearby our hometowns,which will give our extra convinence to sightseeing and another opportunity to get close to the environment.Moreover,when the traditonal festivals coming,we do not spend that much time to travel,all we have to do is embrace our native villages.However,the place where we can build our relationships and create our craeers do not exist in our hometowns and we should keep looking until we find the place we can put all the attention on and start our familes happily.

In conclusion,It seems inevitable to move out of our native villages.Only if we find another place can we really live our lives happiy and sucessfully.

kiddy72

不好意思才看到你的帖子 10月7号的哦～ 改的不好 多多指教