loveluyuanbai的作文帖 狠批~~

loveluyuanbai

改的真好 改出不少错误 看来我得好好看单词 看满分作文了。。。谢谢图图！

loveluyuanbai

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Children should choose the same career as their parents. Use specific examples to support your answer.

Nowadays,there has been a heated debate over the issue whether children should choose the same career as their parents.It is widely accepted that children who was born and raised in a well family should always consider following his parents’careers.While,from my perspective,I do not really in favor of the argument for following reasons.
In the first place,if someone wants to chase for his or her career,the most crucial point he or she has to figured out is where his or her interest lies.That is to say,some vioces such as whether children should choose the same career as their parents are secondary.If children who always need to tolerate something that do not favorable for them at all,they will not really release themselves and attain the real power to let out the potential that hide that deep and push themselves forward.Since the situation that they are kind of facing with the obstacle get into the way,they cannot fix it well while they possibly will turn to their parents looking for help which is always favored for parents.Over and over again,the phenomenon will absolutely turn out to be a circulation,doing harm to the ability of children’s future career and happiness.
Furthermore,taking account of the interest issue,children still need not to choose the same craeer as their parents.Since parents have already done the career successfully, children in this way would like to follow the same method their parents have already made,think the same way as their parents,and most significant,children cannot deal with the stuffs alone,in other words,the thinking pattern of their parents hinder them heavily.Another vital problem is that by doing the same career as their parents ,children have to bear much more pressure which is always need to get to the parents’anticipation.A mother will always warn her son to do the same way as she think,to comfirm the ambition as she has made.I this way,children cannot really fell in love with the career .
Admittedly,the same career with parents will exert a enormous power which can help children get the right way of the career,and there will never be  experienced persons like your parents aiming to give advice to you from nowhere.Given the premise that you are in favor of what your parents do,that you are not distracted by the pressure that your parents put,you are totally can put yourself in the career.But as I said above,in most of cases,children shoud always follow their heart and their own inner voice instead of letting others ‘opinions impede you own choice.
In conclusion,by ruling out the differernt interests exist and the much pressure that parents put in front of children,the argument can be  quite considerare.But from the whole picture,I hardly agree with the argument that children should always choose the same career as their parents.

SophieS123

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Children should choose the same career as their parents. Use specific examples to support your answer.

Nowadays, there has been a heated debate over the issue whether children should choose the same career as their parents. It is widely accepted that children who was born and raised in a well family should always consider following his parents’ careers. While, from my perspective, I do （am）not really in favor of the argument for following reasons.
In the first place, if someone wants to chase for his or her career, the most crucial point he or she has to figured (figure) out is where his or her interest lies. That is to say, some voices such as whether children should choose the same career as their parents are secondary. If children who (删去who) always need to tolerate something that do(is) not favorable for them at all, they will not really release themselves and attain the real power to let out the potential that hide (hides) that (删去that) deep and push themselves forward. Since the situation that they are kind of facing with the obstacle get (gets) into the way, they cannot fix it well while they possibly will turn to their parents looking for help which is always favored for parents.(这句话的连接词似乎用的有问题，而且孩子遇到困难向父母求助真的是“always favored for parents”吗？) Over and over again, the phenomenon will absolutely turn out to be a circulation, doing harm to the ability of children’s future career and happiness.(应该是获得事业成功和快乐的能力)
Furthermore, taking account of the interest issue, children still need not to choose the same career as their parents. Since parents have already done the career successfully, children in this way would like to follow the same method their parents have already made, think the same way as their parents, and most significant(ly), children cannot deal with the stuffs alone, in other words, the thinking pattern of their parents hinder them heavily. Another vital problem is that by doing the same career as their parents , children have to bear much more pressure which is always need（needed） to get to the parents’ anticipation. A mother will always warn her son to do the same way as she think, to confirm（confirm是证实的意思吧） the ambition as she has made. In this way, children cannot really fell（fall）in love with the career .
Admittedly, the same career with parents will exert an enormous power which can help children get the right way of the career, and there will never be experienced persons like your parents aiming to give advice to you from nowhere.(from nowhere可以删去) Given the premise that you are in favor of what your parents do, that you are not distracted by the pressure that your parents put（upon you）, you are (are删去)totally can put yourself in the career. But as I said above, in most of cases, children should always follow their heart and their own inner voice instead of letting others ‘opinions impede you own choice.
In conclusion, by ruling out the different interests exist and the much pressure that parents put in front of children, the argument can be quite considerate. But from the whole picture, I hardly agree with the argument that children should always choose the same career as their parents.

总结：强烈建议您在写完作文后自己先改一遍，整个文章的拼写错误和单复数、包括标点符号错误略微有点多，拼写错误我顺手就改了，并没标出。

从整体架构上看，主体似乎是前两段说choose the same career的坏处，后一段让步一下，感觉第二段写得最好，第一段蓝色高亮的句子改一下连接词应该就比较和谐了……

从语言上看，感觉个别地方稍微有点Chinglish的痕迹，虽然能读懂但看着有些许别扭……

总之文章的思路还是很清晰的。以上纯属个人意见，水平有限，如果言重了还望包涵，意见不一致的地方欢迎赐教。

loveluyuanbai

DO you agree the following statement:Grades (marks) encourage students to learn


Nowadays ,there has been a heated deabate whether gardes encourage students to learn.It is widely accepted that students as well as parents should not pay much attention on the grades but the effort of students.While,from my perspective,I am not in favor of the argument for the following reasons.
In the first place, better grades can totally help students attain much confidence,which will exert a powerful comfort to them.A student with better grades is always likely to show positive actions in term of social behavoir and will always follow their own steps no matter what difficitity they have to encounter.Over and over,students with better grades will always figure out some massy stuffs and can deal with some dilemmas,in no circumstance could they be trapped and discouraged.Rencent studies of the students have shown that the mount of students with high grades will express a more entensive study urge compared with the students with a low gardes, also they have more stability towards hard problems such as academic quedtions and science experiments,which will be much more difficult for some students with low grades,for they do not show confidence.In this way, grades really can encourage students to fix difficultities and move on.
Furthermore,better grades not only can get back the confidence of students themselves,but also can rellieve the pressure of parents and teachers towards students at the same time,which will also attain the attention of the parents and teachers and obtain the support of them as well.It is not a trival thing to say,as you can see,the support of teaches and parents is obviously vital to students,only with the sustention students can put theis whole mind on the study materials and get back to learn as soon as possible.And the support of teachers and parents will emerge only if students can give them better grades.All in all,better grades can assist students eventually.
Admittedly,as I say better grades can encourage students to learns,I do not mean students have to put their whole focus on the grade issue,other things are not important at all.there is no deny that there are other elements such as the patience of the studying,the interest to the learning materials,etc.But what I am essentially want you to know is the grades can really valuable to the learning ability of students.In this case ,I think enlighten my opinion as well.
In conclusion,as an old saying goes_confidence and support can play a vital role In everyone ‘s life,also there is no exception in this case,in the same way as the grades thing works,we must come up with the argument that grades really can encourage students to learn.

loveluyuanbai

谢谢S123的修改！

d0gzi

Nowadays ,there has been a heated deabate whether gardes encourage students to learn.It is widely accepted that students as well as parents should not pay much attention on( TO) the grades but the effort of students.While,(你是想说HOWEVER, 还是Well? 感觉WHILE 是副词，不能放在句首然后打个逗号那样用）from my perspective,I am not in favor of the argument for the following reasons.
In the first place, better grades can totally help students attain much confidence,which will exert a powerful comfort to them.A student with better grades is always likely to show positive actions in term of social behavoir and will always follow their own steps no matter what difficitity （拼写错误） they have to encounter.Over and over,students with better grades will always figure out some massy stuffs and can deal with some dilemmas,（要么用连词要么这里另起一句）in no circumstance could they be trapped and discouraged.Rencent studies of the（无特指， 去掉THE） students have shown that the mount *amount？of students with high grades will express a more entensive study urge compared with the students with a low gardes, also they have more stability towards hard problems such as academic quedtions (spelling mistake)and science experiments,which will be much more difficult for some students with low grades,for they do not show confidence (太绝对，建议使用AS ..AS 句型。。。SHOW AS MUCH CONFIDENCE）.In this way, grades really can encourage students to fix difficultities and move on.
Furthermore,better grades not only can get back the confidence of students themselves,but also can rellieve（SPELLING) the pressure of parents and teachers towards students at the same time,which will also attain the attention of the parents and teachers and obtain the support of them as well.It is not a trival thing to say,as you can see,the support of teaches and parents is obviously vital to students,（变为句号。分句）only withthe sustention students can put theis whole mind on the study materials and get back to learn as soon as possible.And the support of teachers and parents will emerge only if students can give them better grades.All in all,better grades can assist students eventually.
Admittedly,as I say better grades can encourage students to learns,I do not mean students have to put their whole focus on the grade issue,other things are not important at all.there is no deny（ing） that there are other elements such as the patience of （TO？） the studying,the interest to the learning materials,etc.But what I am essentially want you to know is the grades can really （无动词）valuable to the learning ability of students.In this case ,I think enlighten （。。。ENLIGHTEN的主语呢？）my opinion as well.
In conclusion,as an old saying goes_confidence and support can play a vital role In everyone ‘s life,also there is no exception in this case,in the same way as the grades thing works,we must come up with the argument that grades really can encourage students to learn.

1.文章写得挺中规中矩的。是比较不错的应试作文。有观点，有例子，有模板，有句型。黄色是我觉得比较好的地方
2.个人意见啊……我觉得你好像不是很会断句。该断的地方句子要断。。。实在不想断，也不要光用逗号连接，要用连词。
3.拼写啊拼写。。。我自己也常常拼写出问题……本来以为老师会看不出来，。。。改完你的之后才知道。。老师能看出来=。=……

4.同学你为什么没有在主贴上更新你的地址啊……= = 害我刷了五六遍主贴都没有找到你这帖子……
最后~不管你之后是在国内读研还是出国，希望这段为了英语要死要活的经历之后回忆起来都会让你为自己感动~ 加油 ^ ^

loveluyuanbai

Nowadays ,there has been a heated deabate whether gardes encourage students to learn.It is widely accepted that students as well as parents should not pay much attention on( TO) the grades but the effort of students.While,(你是想说HOWEVER, 还是Well? 感觉WHILE 是副词，不能放在句首然后打个逗号那样用）from my perspective,I am not in favor of the argument for the following reasons.
In the first place, better grades can totally help students attain much confidence,which will exert a powerful comfort to them.A student with better grades is always likely to show positive actions in term of social behavoir and will always follow their own steps no matter what difficitity （拼写错误） they have to encounter.Over and over,students with better grades will always figure out some massy stuffs and can deal with some dilemmas,（要么用连词要么这里另起一句）in no circumstance could they be trapped and discouraged.Rencent studies of the（无特指， 去掉THE） students have shown that the mount *amount？of students with high grades will express a more entensive study urge compared with the students with a low gardes, also they have more stability towards hard problems such as academic quedtions (spelling mistake)and science experiments,which will be much more difficult for some students with low grades,for they do not show confidence (太绝对，建议使用AS ..AS 句型。。。SHOW AS MUCH CONFIDENCE）.In this way, grades really can encourage students to fix difficultities and move on.
Furthermore,better grades not only can get back the confidence of students themselves,but also can rellieve（SPELLING) the pressure of parents and teachers towards students at the same time,which will also attain the attention of the parents and teachers and obtain the support of them as well.It is not a trival thing to say,as you can see,the support of teaches and parents is obviously vital to students,（变为句号。分句）only withthe sustention students can put theis whole mind on the study materials and get back to learn as soon as possible.And the support of teachers and parents will emerge only if students can give them better grades.All in all,better grades can assist students eventually.
Admittedly,as I say better grades can encourage students to learns,I do not mean students have to put their whole focus on the grade issue,other things are not important at all.there is no deny（ing） that there are other elements such as the patience of （TO？） the studying,the interest to the learning materials,etc.But what I am essentially want you to know is the grades can really （无动词）valuable to the learning ability of students.In this case ,I think enlighten （。。。ENLIGHTEN的主语呢？）my opinion as well.
In conclusion,as an old saying goes_confidence and support can play a vital role In everyone ‘s life,also there is no exception in this case,in the same way as the grades thing works,we must come up with the argument that grades really can encourage students to learn.

1.文章写得挺中规中矩的。是比较不错的应试作文。有观点，有例子，有模板，有句型。黄色是我觉得比较好的地方
2.个人意见啊……我觉得你好像不是很会断句。该断的地方句子要断。。。实在不想断，也不要光用逗号连接，要用连词。
3.拼写啊拼写。。。我自己也常常拼写出问题……本来以为老师会看不出来，。。。改完你的之后才知道。。老师能看出来=。=……

4.同学你为什么没有在主贴上更新你的地址啊……= = 害我刷了五六遍主贴都没有找到你这帖子……
最后~不管你之后是在国内读研还是出国，希望这段为了英语要死要活的经历之后回忆起来都会让你为自己感动~ 加油 ^ ^

-- by 会员 d0gzi (2012/9/18 19:54:53)

恩 谢谢修改啊 今天一直在忙申请书的事 刚过来 差点忘记修改了 我现在去修改你的啊！还有 保研也是为了更好地出国 我的观念不会动摇 欢迎监督啊！

d0gzi

你好像是应该改HULU的……而不是我的……= =

loveluyuanbai

9月20日
The most important investment of a company is to improve the skills of its employees

What is the most vital investment of a company?What is the most profitable way to deal with the investment?Every manager in companies perhaps would take the entire career to think about how to tackle these tough questiones.While from my perspective,the most important investment of a company is always lies in the improvement of the skills of employees.
In the first place,improving the skills of its employss may be not considered the most effective method to gain funds and some other tangible assets,but regarded as the most important mean to attain intangible assets.Taking into account of the soild foundation,which can be built by some prominent staffs in companys who are well trained,have some fascinate skills that really available to companies .In this case ,the improvement of the skills of the employees can be the key to open the door to future market ,the company with come skillful staffs can figure out some certain ways to fix up the situation that the company may face up no matter how complex it is.Some surveys and statistics in the HBS give us some apparent evidence show that a company with a team of more adept staffs would suffer from fewer dilemma compared with the company which have not.Obviously,the investment of payment on skills can be reasonable.
Furthermore, the investment on the skill level on the other hand may attibute several unique traits to staffs themselves.The developed skills or some exploited intelligence can even trigger the hidden area of the brain,which may be stay untapped for a long time,can cause a enormous difference of the thinking pattern,in which the staffs can aquire some creativity to think differerntly,to try some fresh things,to make innovations for the company.If the company do not pay that much to the skills training, by no means will the company know creative thinking of their staffs,the change that the skillful staffs can bring to them.Generally speaking,the investment of the skills training can bring much to companies,far more than it takes away from .
Admittedly,the more payment the company costs on the skills training of employees,the less money the company can takes into the development of the facility,over and over,the company which spend most of the funds to the skill training, would suffer from the obsolete machines,worst circumstance may lies in the unchanged of the tangible environment of the company,which will also exert a negative influence of the company backwards.However,only if we already dispose the relationship of the two parts,can the company really get robust.
In conclusion,as I state above,the most important investment always lies in the development of the skills training of employees,but only if you can handle the two things well.

fuzhengrui