我的综合写作 求赐教

shatong424

你也帮我改改作文，谢啦~

kris灿

10月24 综合

The reading passage explores the focus on the issue of pollution is the cause of the decline sea otter populations off the Alaskan coast. The professor's lecture deals with the same topic. However, which contradicts what the reader's states in the reading passage. And in the lecture, she uses three specific points to support her view.

To begin with, even though the reading passage suggests that there were known pollution sources along the Alaskan coast, the professor argues in the lecture that there has no evidence about otter death caused by life-threatening infection and little dead otters not suit for this condition. Evenly less dead otters provide these otters dead caused by predator. If caused by infection the number of the dead otters should be a lot.

Moreover, despite the statement in the reading that seals, sea lions along the Alaskan coast were also decline because of the pollution, however, professor contends that some of the predators have are the key reason for otters death. She support her point with, orcas used to prefer whales; because of pople’s hunting, the whales decreased, which leads orcas hunts other food like otters. in other words, which also provide the predator are the reason.

Finally, the professor asserts that orcas cannot moving to some rocky and shallow location which made the uneven concentration of the otters. Even though, the reading passage points the pollution uneven in different areas.

In conclusion, the professor clearly identifies the weakness in the reading passage and convincingly shows that central argument in the reading three reasons for otter's decline is unconvincing.

小滋滋

1024改
The reading passage explores the focus on the issue of that pollution is the cause of the decline sea otter populations(decresing populations of sea otters) off the Alaskan coast. The professor's lecture deals with the same topic. However, which contradicts what the reader's states in the reading passage.(这句话没有主句，是不是想把两句话合成一句？) And in the lecture, she uses three specific points to support her view.

To begin with, even though the reading passage suggests that there were known pollution sources along the Alaskan coast, the professor argues in the lecture that there hasis no evidence about otter death(换下位置吧) caused by life-threatening infection and little dead otters not suit for this（无所指） condition. Evenly less dead otters provide these otters dead（otters是主语，dead是谓语？如果这样，provide后应该加that,那caused作为n.后置定语在这使用错误） caused by predator. If caused by infection the number of the dead otters should be a lotincreased.

Moreover, despite the statement in the reading that seals, sea lions along the Alaskan coast were also decline because of the pollution, however,(一句话中不能同时使用despite和however) professor contends that some of the predators have are the key reason for otters death. She supports her point with, orcas used to prefer whales; because of people’s hunting, the whales decreased, which leads orcas hunts other food like otters. in other words, which also provide the predator are the reason.(没看明白？)

Finally, the professor asserts that orcas cannot moving to some rocky and shallow location which made the uneven concentration of the otters. Even though（句子的谓语动词数=连词数+1，因此这句话缺少主句）, the reading passage points the pollution uneven in different areas.

In conclusion, the professor clearly identifies the weakness in the reading passage and convincingly shows that central argument in the reading of three reasons in the reading for otter's decline is unconvincing.



语法错误有点偏多，句子的谓语动词数=连词数+1，因此这句话缺少主句，时刻用这条检验自己的句子，一点愚见，共同进步！@@