DB的作文贴

婷婷connie

9.18 独立
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Patience is usually not a good strategy. We should take action now rather than later.
婷婷过来改文啦~ 红色错误，蓝色讨论，高亮精彩

18的题不是呀，嘿嘿，照改吧
People are always talking about being patient all the time. Nevertheless, it might be the worst of all strategies in the world. It is significant to be patient sometimes(这里论证很严谨，赞~),but I, after careful thought, still insist on that we should take action now rather than later. After all, being patient all the time will waste our time and may cause us loss the courage to take action. Meanwhile, taking actions immediately can improve our ability of solving problems.

At the very beginning, being patient can really waste our time thus cause（causes） us miss those precious chances. For instance, when I was a six-year-old boy, I wanted to learn playing the piano, but my parents said I was too young and should be patient, they will（would） send me to learn when I grew older. However, when I grew older, I had endless homework to do that I did not have time to learn anything else. In another hand（on the other hand这么表达会好些）, however, my friend Liu got lots of benefits by taking actions immediately. He always wanted to go to Tibet, but he was too poor and lacked of experience, almost everyone told him to wait until he has made all the stuff(stuffs) prepared. Ignoring all of those words, he just putted on his bag with the only（little） money he got and began his journey. At last, after all（despite of） the difficulties and dangers（hardship and hazard）, he experienced the most fantastic forty days in his life and gained what others may never have. From the two opposite examples I listed above, you can see that being patient all the time canwaste our time and miss the chance that we may only have once in our life.(这句话点得很好~)

Furthermore, taking actions now can（不要一直用can,类似于enable/make/be able to/it is possible that/ it is obvious/conspicuous that都可以用~） improve our ability of solving problems. The only reason for being patient is that it is not the best time yet. But things won’t(will not) be easier through our waiting, the difficulties and dangers would not just disappear, we need to face what we have to（这里的结构貌似有问题，不过也说不上来，直接写quandary/dilemma）. And along the path we come through all those difficulties and dangers, we improved our ability of solving problems without knowing it. （To）Set a example of my classmate Li.（这里改成逗号）She always asked me questions about how to prepare for TOEFL. Once she told me that she did not know whether she was capable enough to start doing TPO. I told her that there was no need to ask questions like this, the solution was so simple, just tried it and she will（would） know whether she were good enough. We always got frightened before we start doing something thus told ourselves we should be patient until we are prepared. The truth is, you can never get everything prepared, the only way we make through difficulty is to improve ourselves by trying to solving it.

Generally speaking, based on the reasons I listed above, I really think we should take actions now rather than later, since the present is what we can truly control and we should make it glorious.



Conclusion:

1.观点很好~要是再来一个就好了+1 -1都可以的

2.语言方面还要斟酌一下，多用不同表达，体现多样性

3.一个观点下没有必要举两个例子，这样写作会很占时间，如果一定要用对比，两个都写简略一点

4.Fighting ^o^

xeyyxzty

the ability to do吧~of doing我不知道有没有啊~还有就是这篇文章貌似之前写过~你可以翻翻我的作文贴去~今天我没有又粘一遍


Peopleare always talking about being patient all the time. Nevertheless, it might bethe worst of all strategies in the world. It is significant to be patientsometimes,but I, after careful thought, still insist on that we should takeaction now rather than later. After all, being patient all the time will wasteour time and may cause us loss (lose) the courage to take action. Meanwhile, taking actionsimmediately can improve our ability of solving problems.
开头很好哟~
At the very beginning, being patient can reallywaste our time thus cause(感觉这个词怎么这么怪呢~个人感觉哈，也不知道该用什么比较好) us miss thoseprecious chances. For instance, when I was a six-year-old boy, I wanted tolearn playing the piano, but my parents said I was too young and should bepatient, they will(would) send me to learn when I grew older. However, when I grew older(和前面重复了~years later怎么样), I had endless homework to do that I did not have time tolearn anything else. In another hand（这是什么用法？on the contrary? 还是别的什么）, however, my friend Liu got lots of benefits by takingactions immediately. He always wanted to go to Tibet, but he was too poor andlacked of experience, almost everyone told him to wait until he has made allthe stuff prepared. Ignoring all of those words, he just putted on his bagwith the only money he got and began his journey. At last, after all thedifficulties and dangers, he experienced the most fantastic forty days in hislife and gained what others may never have. From the two opposite examples Ilisted above, you can see that being patient all the time can waste our timeand miss the chance that we may only have only once in our life.

Furthermore, taking actions now can improve ourability of solving problems. The only reason for being patient is that it isnot the best time yet. But things won’t be easier through our waiting, thedifficulties and dangers would not just disappear, we need to face what we haveto. And along the path we come through all those difficulties and dangers, weimproved our ability of solving problems without knowing it(不太清楚指什么，所以也没有看懂这一句). Set an example of my classmate Li. She always asked mequestions about how to prepare for TOEFL. Once she told me that she did notknow whether she was capable enough to start doing TPO. I told her that there was no need toask questions like this, the solution was so simple, just tried it and she will know whether she were good enough（时态凌乱了~）. We alwaysgot frightened before we start doing something thus told ourselves we should bepatient until we are prepared. The truth is, you can never get everythingprepared, the only way we make through difficulty is to improve ourselves bytrying to solving it.

Generally speaking, based on the reasons I listedabove, I really think we should take actions now rather than later, since thepresent is what we can truly control and we should make it glorious.



可能是例子的原因~时态有点小混乱（话说我口语复述的时候容易也这样）
总体来说有进步
继续加油~

d0gzi

谢谢批改~~~
感激T-T！

clover928

加油大宝。。。你这头像太有喜感了哈哈哈