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[求助]请求大家帮忙修改这个文章◆◆◆TWE154◆◆◆

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楼主
发表于 2004-10-26 03:28:00 | 只看该作者

[求助]请求大家帮忙修改这个文章◆◆◆TWE154◆◆◆

In some countries, people are no longer allowed to smoke in many public places and office buildings. Do you think this is a good rule or a bad rule? Use specific reasons and details to support your position.


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Not allowing smoking in public places and office buildings is a very good rule. I believe this for several reasons. Not only will banning smoking improve people’s health, it will also increase worker productivity and reduce conflicts.



We all know smoking is not healthy. Unfortunately, when smokers are able to smoke in public buildings, they can make other people sick. They may work with people who are allergic to smoking, for example. In that case, the non-smokers have no choice unless they want to quit their jobs. They can only get sicker, which is unfair. Of course, banning smoking in public buildings and offices will please non-smokers. It will also improve the smokers’ health. They will have fewer opportunities to smoke, so they will smoke fewer cigarettes.



Banning smoking in office buildings can also increase worker productivity. Smokers will not interrupt their work all the time to smoke. There will also be fewer worker absences. When smokers cut down the number of cigarettes, they will get fewer smoking-related illnesses.



Finally, it is a good idea ban smoking in public places and office buildings because a ban can reduce conflict. Non-smokers tend to get annoyed and jealous because smokers have an excuse to take frequent breaks. The most significant conflict, however, is over whether smokers have a right to smoke in public. As we have already seen, non-smokers feel they are not always given a choice. If smoking in public is allowed, they will be forced to breathe harmful air. This may violate their rights, and nonsmokers are angry with smokers because of it.



It seems clear that banning smoking in public places and office buildings is a good idea. It will reduce conflict and increase productivity. It will also benefit the health of smokers and nonsmokers alike. I believe that just about anything that improves our health is a good idea!

沙发
发表于 2004-11-1 22:14:00 | 只看该作者

整篇文章读下来感觉作者组织语言的能力不高, 段落内句子与句子之间的逻辑关系显得混乱, 有时令人不知所云.其实这个题目,用两个理由段加一个让步分析段即可.

第一个理由: 在公共区禁烟保护吸烟者与被动吸烟者的身体健康

第二个理由: 在公共区禁烟减少人与人之间的conflict

第三段: 在公共区禁烟的不利之处, 如减少烟的销售从而减少税收,

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